The Lying, the Witch, and the Werewolf (Down & Dirty Supernatural Cleaning Services Book 4) by Kate Quinn (uplifting books for women .txt) 📗

my shirt tail. I don’t know if they have any type of magical fingerprinting spells, but I’m sure Adorra knows one if it exists. I hit the ground, Hairy Underwood style, as Adorra’s steps move past her room and head for the stairs. My fingers twitch on my broom when I see the family of dust bunnies under her bed, but I don’t have time to fulfill my cleaning urges.

I pull Adorra’s door shut behind me and slip Hepa’s barrette into the lock. “I’ve done my deed, you’ve filled your need.” The tumbler clicks home and I breathe a sigh of relief. Now if I can just get out of here without anyone—

“Oh, hello,” Kama says behind me, and I jump, almost dropping my broom.

“Hello,” I say, turning to her with a huge fake smile. I’m lucky the broom didn’t zip me right into a wall, as badly as she scared me. “I was hoping to find you up here.”

“Really?” Kama smiles back, apparently pleased at just being wanted.

“Yes,” I say, reaching into my shirt pocket. “I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but Hairy—”

“Oh!” Kama’s hand goes to her heart and she snatches his ear out of my palm. “My poor baby boy!”

“I’m sure it’s fixable,” I say. “I’m pretty sure you can just sew it back on.”

“Could you do it?” Kama asks, her cold fingers gripping my wrist. “I have a sewing kit in my room, and I know Hairy trusts you. I’d do it myself, but of course he needs someone to comfort him while having such an intense experience.”

Shit. I try not to think about how intense of an experience I’ll have if Adorra catches me up here, but I also don’t want Kama to lose her mind—loudly. If I can get the ear back on the dog and get downstairs before the witch comes back with the cult-leader’s nap snack...seriously? This is my life now?

Yes. It is. And I’m currently in it, so I follow Kama obediently to her room where she digs around in an old-fashioned dresser until she comes up with a sewing kit.

“I think black, don’t you?” she asks, then proceeds to thread the needle without awaiting my response. I take it from her and we both approach Hairy Underwood, where his litter rests in the corner with a pile of blankets.

“It’s okay, big man,” Kama says, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Paige has found your missing parts and she’s going to put you all back together. She really is a lovely girl, isn’t she?”

Kama continues to coo into Hairy’s remaining ear, then gives me a tentative wave forward. “I think he’s ready.”

Which means I guess I am, too. At first the needle doesn’t want to punch through the dead, leathery skin, but once I put a little force into it, the sewing part isn’t half bad. I ask Kama if she wants it to match the other one—ear forward, in an alert position—or if she’d like this one to be flopped over, more in a relaxed way. She gives it a lot more thought than I’d intended, and I can hear Adorra’s steps in the hall before I’ve finished the last stitch.

“What in Hades’ bells!” the witch says, stopping cold in the doorway, giving me a look that could kill. Or maybe it can. I make a mental note to ask Nico if I just got cancer from this bitch.

“Paige found something of Hairy’s, and was returning it to us,” Kama explains, running her hand down his snout. “I’m so grateful for her.”

Adorra doesn’t bother responding, and instead puts Kama’s snack tray on a dresser and immediately goes down the hall. I hear her door rattle in its frame, but she must be convinced it’s locked, because the death level in her eyes has gone down when she returns.

“I’m sorry, I had to check something,” Adorra says, eyes still on mine. “What were you saying, Kama?”

“I found Hairy’s ear,” I interrupt, not wanting to stick around much longer. “I know I’m not supposed to come upstairs, but I figured this was too important to let go.”

“And you figured correctly,” Kama says, clapping her hands. “Thank you so much for your service. May I offer you something? Oral sex? Chocolate, maybe?”

“I…” I’m caught off guard by my choices, but the mention of chocolate has my ears perking way higher than Hairy’s ever will again. And Adorra doesn’t miss my reaction. Her eyes narrow at me and I know it’s time to go.

“Thanks for the offer of, um, cunnilingus and chocolate, but I’m really susceptible to yeast infections. Anyway, I should be going. I’ve got duties, you know!” I heft my broom in my hand in illustration, brushing past Adorra. I’ve just made it into the hall when her words cut me off.

“I thought you asked to be moved to toilet crew?”

“No, that was my friend Cassie,” I say, trying to appear confident. “I’m very happy with cleaning the dining room.”

Adorra steps toward me, never dropping my gaze. “But the dining room is already clean, Paige.”

My hand tightens on my broom, and I swallow once. Hard. It starts to vibrate in my hand and I move it so that the broom is right in front of me…and in alignment with the second floor balcony door. Which is mercifully open.

“Yep, we’re really thorough, us dining room cleaning crew folks,” I say, moving my feet so that one is on either side of the broom. It’s definitely getting vibes from me; now it’s practically humming in my hands, and we can’t be far from lift off.

Adorra crosses her arms, radiating distrust. “And who exactly are your fellow cleaning crew folks?” she asks, acidly. “Can you name them for me?”

The truth is, I can’t. But the other truth is, it doesn’t matter. The broom shoots forward, knocking Adorra aside as I pinch my knees together, ducking my head as I just clear the door frame. I shoot out of the second story