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Fifteen

‘Fi!’ Doc burst into the cargo hold, praying he could pull Fi out of her loop even if just for a few minutes. After his disastrous meeting with Dominic, Doc needed to see her more than ever. His mind was awash with revenge fantasies, but he knew those could easily take him down the wrong path. Fi could calm him. Refocus him. ‘Fi! If you can hear me, please come out. Please, baby.’

Seconds ticked by. He swept the flashlight down the narrow corridors created by the stacked rows of rusting storage containers. A rat scurried back into the shadows. ‘Fi, please, if you can hear me.’

Nothing. Not a flicker. Not a hint of her wispy image. His hand tightened on the flashlight, and the anger simmering in his gut began to boil. He was too late. She was gone and the next time he’d see her, she’d be moments away from being torn apart right before his eyes. And once again, he’d be helpless to stop it.

He slammed the side of his fist into one of the containers. The noise echoed through the cavernous space as he slumped to his knees. His eyes burned.

‘Doc?’

The voice brushed his skin. His head came up, his flashlight searching. ‘Fi? Baby?’

‘Here,’ she whispered.

She was a few yards up the passage. She kept her right side to him, strangely shy now that she’d begun to remember bits and pieces. Or maybe it was the way she looked. She’d never let anyone see her in her murdered form the first time she’d been a ghost. He shined his light on her, but it was too bright and she disappeared beneath its intensity. He tossed it away, blowing out a hard breath and offering her a shaky smile. ‘I’m so glad you’re here. I thought you were gone. Until, you know … ’ No reason to complete that thought.

‘No.’ She smiled weakly, floating closer. ‘I’m here. It’s just hard to make myself visible too far out of the loop.’ She wiggled her fingers in front of her. They were as sheer as steam. ‘As you can tell.’

‘You look great.’

She ducked her head and a curtain of brown hair hid the blood streaking the front of her sweatshirt.

‘I don’t care about that.’ He pointed to the dark stain. ‘Or that.’ His finger moved in the direction of her throat, where the flesh lay open like some kind of horrible flower.

She twisted, hiding that side of herself. ‘Don’t.’

‘Fi, it’s okay.’ Shoulda kept his mouth shut.

‘It’s not okay. I am not okay.’

She flickered again and he wondered if she’d rather disappear than deal with her reality. He couldn’t blame her. He’d wished that for himself once upon a time. Before her.

‘You’re going to be fine. You’ll see.’ He ached to hold her, to pull her against him and tell her everything was going to be okay, even though he was no closer to saving her than he had been a few hours ago. If anything, he was further from his goal.

‘You’re a bad liar.’ But her smile widened. ‘How did it go with Dominic?’

He dropped his head. He shouldn’t have told her about going to see Dominic, but he’d wanted to give her hope. What an idiot he was.

‘Not well, I guess.’ She laughed but the sound was almost a sob.

His head jerked up. ‘I’ll figure it out. I will. Don’t worry.’

She flickered, thinner than when she’d first shown up. ‘What did he say?’

Doc couldn’t bring himself to tell her. ‘I’ll talk to him again. Make him understand better.’ And he realized he meant those words. He would give Dominic one more shot. If he still didn’t offer up the required blood, Doc would find a way to get it. By whatever means necessary.

‘He won’t, though, will he?’ She started to cry, her image wavering and blinking in and out.

‘He will. He will. Don’t cry, baby.’ Doc had to get Fi back. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you.’

She shook her head, her hair swinging free where it wasn’t clumped together with blood. ‘I don’t know what’s worse – remembering what my life was like before we went to Corvinestri, or not remembering. Too late now, I guess, since it’s all coming back.’

His mouth opened, but he kept quiet. She’d gone to Corvinestri because of him. He was to blame for this and he knew it. Sorry only went so far. ‘Maybe I should go. Give you some peace.’

‘No.’ She turned to face him full-on. ‘The only peace I have is with you.’ Tears shimmered on her lower lids and streaked her pale cheeks. ‘Don’t leave, please. Not yet. Not until the sun comes up.’

‘You got it, baby.’ Anything to keep more tears from falling or causing her any more pain. He leaned against one of the storage containers and nodded toward the deck beside him.

She crossed her legs and floated down beside him, the brush of her ethereal form cool against his body. ‘Tell me about the first time we met.’

He laughed. ‘Again?’

‘Yes. I love that story.’

‘I’m aware.’ He began the story just as he had the last two times. ‘It was the second full moon after I’d been cursed, and the first one since my pride had thrown me out. Mal found me in an alley.’

‘Saved you from a pack of wild dogs, you mean.’

‘Yeah, that. He brought me back here—’

‘That was right after I tried to leave him and realized I couldn’t.’ Her mouth twisted a little.

‘I guess he thought fixing me up and letting you keep me as a pet would make you feel better. Course, in my animal form, there was no way for him to tell I was varcolai—’

‘And hardly an acceptable pet for a young woman such as myself.’ She snickered, pursing her mouth when he shot her a look.

‘Or anyone,’ he added. Not that he minded being her pet now. ‘For the length of the full moon, three nights and three days, I was barely conscious, unable to shift into human form even

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