Cause of Death by Laura Dembowski (ereader iphone .TXT) 📗

my mind racing. I pull into Todd and Anna’s neighborhood, then into their driveway. I park the car, turn it off, and just sit there. The sun is bright and hot, beating down on the car. The moment the air stops blasting, I feel like I am going to suffocate. My death is imminent as long as I sit here without starting the car or rolling down the windows. I am at peace with that idea.

Todd must have seen me pull in. He walks out the front door and over to my car. He tugs at the door, but it’s locked. I open the door. Todd looks at me funny. I realize it must be because I look like a product of the war I have been through today. Or because I was sitting in a stifling hot, locked car.

“Are you okay, son?” he asks.

“Not really, no,” I say.

I am here now, and I need to tell him the whole story as soon as possible, so I fail to see the point in pretending like everything’s okay. It’s not, and no matter what words I say, Todd’s a smart guy; he’s already figured out that something is seriously wrong.

“Come in,” he says.

He walks a few steps ahead of me but turns back every couple of paces to make sure I’m following him, that I haven’t dropped dead on his broken-down brick-paver sidewalk.

We reach the inside of the house and he leads me to a couch in the closest room. It’s the library. They don’t even use it. The room looks dusty, totally untouched. I’m not entirely sure why he wants us to sit in here. Just being in this room makes me more uncomfortable than I already was. I sag into the couch. I can barely focus on the conversation I have to have.

“What’s going on, Ryan?” he asks.

“Is Anna back yet?” I say, not really avoiding his question; I’d rather tell them together so they can console each other when I break this news. They still see Tracy as their little girl, the center of their world. Pictures of her and trophies she won are everywhere in their house. They talk to her all the time, and talk about her even more. Todd and Anna are just about the proudest parents I’ve ever met. Before this latest incident and personality change in Tracy, she was the all-American girl every woman wanted to be, and every guy wanted to be with. For some reason, she chose me. I wonder if she realized she’d made a mistake even before I cheated on her.

“She’ll be home soon,” Todd answers me. “We don’t have to wait for her.”

“I think we should,” I say.

“What could be so important?” He’s impatient, which ordinarily would piss me off. In this moment, it just makes me sad. He’s trying to think of all the reasons I could want to talk to him and he’s not coming up with anything important enough to worry about. He’s not panicked. He’s not stressed. He’s not nervous to hear what I have to say because the last thing on his mind is that his daughter is dead.

I sigh, not knowing what I should do. God knows how long Anna will be, and I clearly can’t hold Todd off much longer.

“I don’t know how to tell you this,” I say.

“Just spit it out, son.”

“Tracy’s—”

I pause when I hear the door open.

“Helloooo,” Anna’s warm voice rings through the house.

“In here,” Todd shouts.

“Where?” she asks, trying to follow his voice. I can hear her kitten heels clicking on the floor. She always wears them, to match her rather sophisticated persona.

“The library,” Todd yells back.

Anna reaches the door. She doesn’t spot me at first, I can tell. She looks at Todd, wondering what the hell he’s doing in this room. Can’t blame her there. Todd looks to me, so Anna changes her gaze.

“Hi, there. What are you doing here, Ryan? You two having some male bonding time?”

“No, Ryan’s got something important to tell us.”

“Oh.” Anna’s eyes light up like a Christmas tree. She thinks my news is good. “Are you thinking about asking Tracy that very important question, and you wanted our approval? Oh, that’s so sweet.” She turns to Todd. “Isn’t that just the sweetest thing, Todd?”

Todd looks at her and nods. I’m wondering why Tracy didn’t tell her parents we were engaged. Not to mention the fact that I have to turn Anna’s good mood into one of despair. It’s not my fault she went and assumed what was happening here. What do they say about assuming?

“Actually, that’s not why I’m here,” I say.

Anna sits down and looks back and forth at me and Todd. “So, why are you here?”

I look down at my hands. If I had a death-ray stare, I would have bored a hole right through them, into the floor, and the earth below us. But I am no superhero. According to most I’d be considered a pretty shitty guy.

“I have some bad news,” I say, feeling sick. I’m afraid if I open my mouth again I’ll puke all over their pristine room. I swallow hard.

“What is it?” Todd asks, impatient now.

“You can tell us anything,” Anna adds.

“Umm . . . well. This morning after I left for work, apparently someone broke into my house.”

“Oh, no—do you need a place to stay? Or some money? We can help you out,” Anna says, jumping into mother mode instantly.

“No, it’s not like that. They actually didn’t take anything.”

“Oh,” Anna says, before looking at me, confused.

“Tracy was there.”

Todd and Anna remain silent. Anna grabs Todd’s hand and nestles it in hers. She strokes it with her thumb.

“I hate to be the one to have to tell you this, but Tracy was killed in the incident.”

Anna leans over in a loud scream and starts sobbing, all her energy expressing her love for her daughter. Todd rubs her back, silent tears streaming down his face.

“I’m so sorry,” I say, as though it could possibly help