How to Betray Your Country by James Wolff (pocket ebook reader txt) 📗

me to prison.”

“I wish I had.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I felt bad about what happened at the office. The insulting way Beatrice spoke to you while I stood by and did nothing. I’m not surprised you wanted to get your own back. But next time I’ll tell them to throw away the keys.”

“Next time? You will never see me again. I think the policemen will go very soon, when the rain stops. Then I will go too.”

“They’re still there? That’s impressive. A pair of proper bloodhounds.”

“Impressive?” said Youssef. “They did not hit you.”

“I know what point you’re making, but don’t lose sight of the fact that you attacked me with an iron bar.”

“They did not know that.”

“There were clues.”

“Clues?” said Youssef. “You think they hit me because of clues?”

“Well – blood, a weapon.”

“Like Sherlock Holmes.”

“All right, they might be a little bit racist too.”

“What do you think they will do to me if you are not there?”

“Send you back to Spain?” August said.

“You are not funny.”

“They would probably have done the same thing that you tried to do to me. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Youssef. Nobody put you in this position.”

“Lots of people put me in this position. The Syrian police, the Mukhabarat, Al Nusra, Daesh, two Turkish policemen, a drunk, greasy-haired English son of a bitch —”

“It’s not greasy, you idiot, it’s wet from the rain. Because I was standing around making up stories for two policemen instead of —”

“Instead of sitting on your own in a hotel room getting drunk.”

“Says the man who tried to sell me cocaine and prostitutes. What would your priest have to say about that?”

“My priest?” said Youssef.

“That scar on your wrist. What is it, were you trying to cover up a cross? That’s the only thing I’ve seen tattooed on the inside of people’s wrists here. Throw those cigarettes over and pour yourself some more of that. It must have hurt like hell, looks like you tried to burn it off.”

“It is none of your business.”

“When I was at school a boy stubbed out a cigarette on my leg. Pass the bottle, would you?”

“Why?”

“No reason. I was the new boy.”

“Or maybe he just did not like you. Maybe nobody liked you. This is also possible.”

“A lot of people regret a tattoo. You know, the name of an ex-girlfriend. You grow up and it starts to look silly.”

“Are you joking?”

“I knew someone who got a tattoo of a band they liked —”

“When Daesh came to my city many people converted to Islam so they would not be killed.”

“I’m guessing they weren’t fans of the Playboy tie either.”

“Playboy? What are you talking about? They are rabbits. My daughter likes rabbits. She gave it to me for my birthday.”

“How old is she?”

“Two years.”

“Where is she now?”

“Either Macedonia or Serbia. Or possibly Hungary.”

“What do you mean?”

“I do not know where she is. My wife and my daughter sailed from Izmir on a boat seven weeks ago. I only had enough money for them. I promised to follow as soon as I could buy a ticket. The man said they would arrive in Greece in a few hours, it would be slow because the weather was not good, but after they arrived people would look after them. And one week after that they will arrive in Germany. But my wife’s phone is not working so I do not know where they are. Her cousin was on the same boat, her phone does not work too – I think this is because telephones work differently in Europe. But if I look at a map and try to decide which way they are travelling and how quickly, I think by now they are in Macedonia, Serbia or Hungary. It is also possible they are in Vienna. My wife will be slow, her health is not always good, but she is very determined. Do you think this is right, the problem is the phone network?”

“Absolutely. It’s completely different in Europe.”

“And the bad weather, you do not think it is possible —”

“No, not a chance. We’re not talking about crossing the Atlantic here.”

“You hear many stories.”

“You could do it in a bathtub.”

“My sister-in-law says they —”

“Did you ever read your daughter the rhyme about the owl and the pussycat going to sea in a pea-green boat?”

“What are you talking about? Are you drunk already?”

“A little bit, maybe. They took some honey and plenty of money, wrapped up in a five-pound note.”

“They wrapped money inside money? This is crazy. Better to wrap it in something small and plastic and hide it so nobody can steal it. Give me the bottle.”

“Or money and plenty of honey, it might be that way round.”

“Who were they running away from?”

“That’s a good question. No one, I think. They were in love. The owl proposed to the pussycat and they went looking for a ring. They were at sea for a year and a day and they were completely fine, so a journey of a few hours will have been a walk in the park for your wife and daughter.”

“Did they find a ring?”

“Tied to the end of a pig’s nose. Where’s the lighter?”

“For someone who drinks all the time, you get drunk very quickly.”

“I had a head start. Most of the time I have a head start.”

“Why do you drink so much?”

“Oh, well. My wife, she…”

“What?”

“It’s a long story, Youssef.”

“You had an argument?”

“No, it’s not that.”

“She left you?”

“You could say that.”

“You are a difficult man, to be honest I cannot blame her.”

“I blame her.”

“Don’t … it will be all right. Why do you not say sorry to her? Maybe she will come back.”

“I say sorry to her all the time.”

“And what does she say?”

“She doesn’t say anything.”

“Stop… Mr August, please, there is no need… I have an idea, climb into the green boat with me and together we will go and find our families.”

“Now who sounds drunk?”

“You, me, the dog and the thing, what is it called, the thing.”

“The owl.”

“I do not want the pig in there.”

“What’s wrong