Devlin and Garrick by Cameron Dane (best big ereader TXT) 📗

looking for him. He didn’t say goodbye to any of us or try to explain why he was going away. Shit,” Devlin felt his mouth twist in a harsh line, “he didn’t even tell his best friend. The guy came over that morning and I had to tell him Aidan was gone. Ethan--that was his name--was totally stunned. I could tell he didn’t know a damned thing more than we did.”

“His disappearance must have been a blow to all of you.” Gradyn kept his voice gentle.

“Yeah. I remember feeling betrayed more than anything else,” Devlin admitted for the first time. “Aidan eventually contacted my mom from Arizona. We have an uncle there and learned that Aidan had moved in with him. I don’t know.” Devlin’s shoulders, neck, and back ached, and he realized he’d been holding his body tight, as if he needed to be ready to run at any moment. He rolled his neck and shoulders to work out the stiffness and then forced himself to sit back, his limbs loose. “Maybe I feel like if I become a firefighter Aidan will think I’m doing it to be like him and then that’ll be like I’m saying I admire him or that the choices he made were okay and that it didn’t hurt me like hell when he left.” Devlin blinked away the burn of tears that wanted to fall. “It did. I was actually starting to want to be just like him when he suddenly went away. I thought he was really cool and smart and funny, and then he just up and left without even saying goodbye.” A band constricted Devlin’s chest today with as much power as it had that day, and his hand opened and clenched repeatedly at his side as he re-experienced the days, weeks, hell, months after Aidan disappeared. “I cried so much after he left; it made me feel like such a pussy little girl, and that only made me even madder at him for going.”

Gradyn leaned across the table and pressed a kiss to Devlin’s forehead. He held his lips to Devlin’s skin and rubbed the back of Devlin’s neck, working out the final kinks. “You’re not ready to forgive him,” Gradyn said, his voice brusque as he pulled away and took a seat again. “That’s okay.”

Devlin snapped his head up and homed right in on Gradyn. “What? No. I forgave Aidan a long time ago. My mom, Maddie, and I would go visit him in Arizona a couple times a year after he left. We still do. My hesitation isn’t about forgiving him.”

“Then why are you so concerned he might think your becoming a firefighter is the same as saying to him the choice he made to leave was okay?”

“It’s not.” Devlin stopped cold. “Shit.” New thoughts swirled in his brain like a tornado as Gradyn’s blunt observation slammed smack into him. Devlin looked up and he felt almost dizzy. “Maybe I haven’t completely forgiven him.”

“I’m not trying to tell you that you should forgive him, Devlin. I don’t know the guy at all to offer an opinion about it.”

“No, Aidan is a good man now.” Devlin spoke to Gradyn but felt almost like he was explaining this to himself for the first time. “He’s been a firefighter since he moved away when he was eighteen. He never fell back into trouble with the law. Once he finally contacted us that first time, he always called me, Mom, and Maddie at least twice a month to see how we were doing. He still does,” Devlin mused, “to this day.”

“How old is your sister?” Gradyn asked.

“She’s fifteen.” As Devlin thought about Maddie, he shook his head and raised his brows Gradyn’s way. “Going on about thirty.”

“Oh.” Gradyn’s face fell into a combination of a wince and a grimace. “That could be worrisome.”

“No no.” Devlin swiped his hand across the surface of the table with a decided chop. “Not in that way. At least I don’t think so. We got real close after Aidan moved away so I think Maddie would tell me if she’d gone down that road already. God,” he clenched his teeth, “she’d better not be having sex.”

Gradyn went back to grinning behind his water bottle. “Now you sound like a father.”

“Maybe.” Devlin shrugged halfheartedly. “Our dad isn’t really one for confiding important things to. It doesn’t matter. I only meant that Maddie seems older because she is very organized and focused and knows how to make a plan to go after the things she wants. She’s a good kid. I admire her a lot.

“Geez.” The nature of everything Devlin had revealed suddenly penetrated his brain and pulled him up short. “When did this become a Devlin Morgan therapy session? Enough about me. What about you?” Curiosity about this muscle-bound inked man raised Devlin’s blood to a buzzing simmer. “Do you love what you do?”

“Yeah,” Gradyn answered immediately. “I love my job.” He fell silent then, and his mouth slowly flattened to a narrow slash. The tips of his fingers traced the lines where his tattoo edged his jaw down to his neck, perfectly skimming the ink pattern as if he had the design memorized. “It’s tough, though, and it’s lonely sometimes.” The light in the room didn’t change, but he turned his head just a hair and shadows concealed his eyes. “There aren’t a lot of people to trust...” He looked and sounded a million miles away.

Devlin started to reach out, but Gradyn abruptly swung back to face Devlin, and that hint of melancholy Devlin had thought he’d seen and heard was gone. “Anyway,” Gradyn said, “it’s rewarding and I like it, but we’ll have to shelve the rest of that conversation for another time because I have big plans for us today.” He got up, yanked Devlin out of his seat, and started guiding him toward the bathroom. “If we’re going to have time to visit a few places before we eat dinner then we have to