A Mother Forever by Elaine Everest (good novels to read txt) 📗

can see that he changed around the time we moved here. Perhaps I am to blame for what happened. I wanted a nice home and the perfect family. Even that went wrong when we lost Sarah. I must claim some responsibility for my marriage failing. I should have thought more about Eddie than about having a comfortable home.’ In the time since Eddie had left, Ruby had thought long and hard about him straying from the straight and narrow, and her current thoughts were that she must have contributed to his decision to leave.

Frank placed his tea on a side table and knelt in front of her, taking her hands in his own. For a moment Ruby froze – was he going to propose? Please God he wasn’t going to say anything rash. ‘Ruby, you must never think you are to blame for what happened with Eddie. I only knew him after he moved here, but he must have once had some very good qualities for you to fall in love with him. You’re no fool, Ruby Caselton. I just want you to know that I’ll be your friend – the best friend I can. I love you, and I feel that in another life we would have been soulmates.’

Ruby looked down at his earnest expression and pulled her hands away from his. ‘Please, Frank, please don’t do this. Don’t ruin our friendship . . .’

‘Ruin it?’ Frank cried out. Then he put his face in his hands and took several deep breaths. ‘No, all I wanted you to know was that I would always be your friend, and . . .’

Ruby fell to her knees next to him and pulled his hands away so they could look eye to eye. ‘Oh Frank, was that all you wanted to tell me? There was me thinking you were going to propose – not that I’m free to marry again,’ she laughed, feeling embarrassed. ‘However, you did prompt me to think about Eddie and realize I still love him, for all his faults. Come what may, I’m his until death us do part. We made our vows and I’ll stick to them. Even though I’m no churchgoer, I do like to keep a promise.’

‘That’s as it should be. And if the time should ever come when Eddie is back in your life, I want to be able to look him square in the face and say I was a true friend and nothing more.’ Frank took a deep breath and looked away. ‘I’ve never told a living soul this before, but . . . I’m different from most men. I have no interest in having a wife,’ he said, looking back at Ruby to see if she understood.

‘Oh . . . I think I understand.’ Ruby knew that men were breaking the law for having relationships with other men, and had to keep their feelings to themselves. She didn’t wish to know what they did behind closed doors – the very thought of it shocked her. However, if a man loved another man in the way she’d felt love for her Eddie, she saw no wrong in it. Frank was a good and gentle man, and he deserved to experience love. She could see now that his love for her was that of a good friend – a brother. She nodded in agreement before looking a little puzzled. ‘But didn’t you walk out with that girl from the Co-op?’

‘Only because Mum pushed us together. She soon got tired of me. She’s engaged to someone on the cheese counter now.’

Ruby felt her cheeks start to twitch and when she spotted the twinkle in Frank’s eyes, they both started to laugh. ‘Blimey, Frank, I thought I had a problem with Eddie going missing. We’re a right pair, aren’t we?’

They got to their feet and hugged before sitting back in their armchairs and finishing their tea.

‘Do you mean to tell me your parents really don’t know about you being . . . different?’

‘What, that I read more books than the rest of the family put together, you mean?’

Ruby laughed with him, but then a great sadness washed over her as she considered her friend’s situation. ‘You can’t make jokes for the rest of your life. You can’t live a lie.’

‘That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I know you’ll understand why I want to change my life and move away from Alexandra Road.’

Ruby frowned. ‘But what will you do? Where will you go? I’ll miss you, and our chats about books. Who will advise me on the best books to read?’

Frank looked exhilarated. ‘Well, you could come with me – that’s if you want to.’

‘Come with you . . . but where? What about George and my house? My job in the pub? Frank, this is all such a shock. You have a good job at the coalyard. Why throw it all away because you are unhappy with your love life? Why not tell your family, so that you can stay here?’

Frank shook his head, laughing. ‘Dear, sweet Ruby – I am happy with my life. I’ve simply come to a crossroads and made a decision to travel on the road that means gambling with my future. There is no one in my life at the moment, and possibly never will be. I just know I don’t wish to court and marry a woman.’

‘That’s your choice and I respect it, but how does this plan include me? I have no money to speak of, and even less if I leave my job and come with you. And I have George to consider . . .’

Frank reached into his pocket and pulled out the notebook he always carried with him. ‘Let me explain. You know I love books and I came to think how good it would be to work with them all day long.’

Ruby became excited. ‘You mean you’re going to write books?’

‘No – if only I had the talent, I’d have started doing that years ago. I prefer to read them. I want to run a second-hand bookshop, right here in Erith. What do you think?’

Ruby thought