Following Me by Linde, K.A. (best books to read in your 20s .txt) 📗

GARRETT DIDN’T MOVE for what feltlike forever.  Devon wanted to see his reaction.  She wanted to know that hedidn’t think any differently of her.  She wanted to know a lot of things, butshe wasn’t brave enough to look up at him.

She felt his heavy sigh and theshift of his body toward her.  She breathed him in.  Her mind was stillwondering too many things.  She couldn’t believe she had told her story.  Ithad been a secret for so long.  She hadn’t wanted to risk someone finding out. What would people think of her…of him?  What would they do?

Her mind closed off to thatthought.

“Devon,” he said finally.

He pulled her toward him andcircled his big, strong arms around her.  She tensed, unsure where this wascoming from.  Was he pitying her?  She didn’t need his pity.

“I hope you see your strength theway I do.”

Strength?  I ran away.  Iwanted to yell that at him.  I’m not strong.  I’m weak.  I couldn’t face myfears, so I ran.

She didn’t know what to say, andhe didn’t let her go, so she relaxed into his embrace, accepting it for what itwas.  They were both in a rough spot, separated from their lives.  Devon hadrun, and Garrett had faced his problems head-on.  Either way, it had ended withthem sitting in the same room.  So maybe facing her problems head-on wouldhave turned out the same way.  Or maybe she wouldn’t have ended up unconscious.Instead, she would have ended up dead.

That thought made her break theembrace.  She stared forward at Garrett.  She felt the tears on her cheeks, hotand uncomfortable.  She hated crying, especially in front of people.

Garrett reached up and pushed herhair off her face.  She sniffed as the tears fell faster from his affection. She didn’t need someone to care for her.  She could take care of herself.  Thatthought made her cry harder.

“Don’t cry,” he whispered.

His thumbs brushed under her eyeslike he had done when she had woken up from her nightmare on the couch.  Shecouldn’t stop her tears, and his help only made it worse.

She didn’t know how she had anytears left.  Hadn’t she cried enough?  Or were these tears of a differentnature?  Her throat constricted, and she coughed.  She had never oncethought that running away was the right thing to do.  It was impulsive.  It wassomething Hadley would do.  Devon was always the rational one who wanted towork things out.  She had stayed with him well past the point she should have. And for what?  To be frightened and accused of things she hadn’t done?  Tobe hit, burned, and left unconscious?

The whole time she had been inChicago, she had felt like a coward.  She felt like running away from her lifewas the cheap way out, and the only reason she hadn’t returned was out offear.  Now looking at it from a flip side, she understood that running wasn’tthe right option.  It was the only option.

“How did you go through all ofthat alone?”

Devon shook her head.  She reallydidn’t know.  She never felt all alone until she left.  “I don’t know.”  Shehiccupped through tears.

“You shouldn’t be alone,” hesaid, stroking her hair.  “Is this what your dreams were about?”

Devon closed her eyes.  Shecouldn’t face those dreams.  He had been haunting them for months.  Shecouldn’t escape him even when she had run away.

“Devon, you have to face himeventually,” he said.

She thought he meant to soundreassuring, but she wasn’t reassured.

“Yeah,” she said shakily.  “Iknow…eventually.”

“You can’t hide out in Chicagoforever.  Doesn’t school start again in August?”

“Yeah, it does.”

Garrett squeezed her shoulder andpulled her in closer.  “Don’t you think it would be better to get it over withthan to wait another month or two?”

“Did you not hear what happened?”she whispered frantically.

“I heard, Dev.  I’m just sayingthat you are so afraid of this, and sometimes, you need to face your fears.”

Devon shook her head.  “It’s notabout facing my fears.  Well, it kind of is.  Okay, it is, but you don’tunderstand.  You don’t know what he’s like,” she said, her hands shakingviolently.

Garrett took her hands in his andheld them to keep them from trembling.

“If you knew…if you only knew…”

“Then, tell me.  Who is thisguy?  Who can have this much control over you?”

Devon stared down at their handsintertwined in her lap.  She had told her story and left out the most importantdetail.  It was the one detail she was sure people would find hard to believe.

Who would really believe thatthe perfect couple would ever be entirely dysfunctional?

“Hard to believe,” she began,preparing for his reaction.  “My boyfriend, Reid.”

“Wait,” he said, confused.“Aren’t you guys still dating?”

“Uh…technically,” she whispered. “I did just leave.”

“No, leaving means that you guysare done.”

Huh.  She had neverthought about it that way.  When she had left, she hadn’t really thought ofanything.  But it made sense to her.  Leaving him, even if she hadn’t told himwhat was going on, had made her see that it was over.  Still, she hadn’t toldhim though.

“I didn’t tell him,” she finallyadmitted.

“But isn’t he looking for you?”

Devon shook her head, ashamed. “My parents talked about going on this trip to Paris for months.  I told himabout it, but we never thought it would actually happen.  My parents are justspontaneous enough that when I told him they decided to go last minute, he believedme,” she said, looking up at Garrett.  “Otherwise, he wouldn’t have let meleave, or he would’ve freaked out and tried to find me.  I didn’t want to befound.”

“So, he thinks you’re in Parisfor the summer?”

Devon nodded.

“And you’ve gotten away with thatfor this long?”

“I told my parents I was stayingin St. Louis for the summer to be with him.  I shut off my Facebook and Twitteraccounts.  I haven’t answered emails—”

“That’s why you didn’t want yourpicture to be taken,” he said, piecing it together.

“Yeah, I didn’t know if theymight show up online or something.”

“When you go back to St. Louisand he finds out that you weren’t in Paris, what do you think he’s going todo?” Garrett asked quietly.

They both knew the answer to thatquestion.

Garrett moved away and pouredanother shot, and Devon tossed it back.  As soon as it hit her stomach,