Lycan Christmas by S. Yule (best contemporary novels txt) 📗

be with you in real life.” If she wasn’t so sad, she’d find it amusing that she was once again arguing with her own subconscious.

When hurt flashed in his eyes, she nearly caved and apologized. She couldn’t stand the thought of him hurting, especially when she’d caused it.

He sat on a boulder and patted the space next to him. “Come. Sit by me. Give me a few moments of your time. After that, if you still want me to leave, I will, and I will never bother you again.”

She looked around, just now noticing that they were once again in Lorent’s secret place in the forest. There was no snow on the ground this time, but the trees were leafless, and the shrubs were bare. Undecided on what she should do, she sighed and went to him. When she sat down beside him, he reached for her and took her hand. His fingers more than spanned the width of her small palm, and she fought hard not to moan at how good his touch felt.

“What do you want?” She watched him expectantly as his apparent inner struggle played over his features. She wanted to smooth the frown lines from his face, but forced herself to remain still as she waited for his response.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I did horrible things while I was a rogue, Melony. I witnessed so many terrible things, and never did anything to stop any of it. I was 129

Lycan Christmas

S. K. Yule

never aware until I came to Sanctuary that intended mates had two scents, hadn’t understood that all the women marked with the main scent were destined specifically for one of our males. I was brought up to believe that any woman with the main scent was fair game for any of us.”

She nodded silently, encouraging him to continue.

“It never felt right to me, and I swear to you that I never hurt a destined mate, or anyone else, for that matter. I learned to keep to myself, had to, or risk being abused or killed. The one time I tried to help a woman being tormented by some of the rogues I was running with at the time, I was beaten so badly I nearly died. Beating a lycan to death is no easy chore, and I learned quickly to keep my mouth shut after that.”

“Oh, Lorent.” She tried to reach for him, but he stopped her.

“No. Let me finish,” he pleaded, and she nodded. “I saw so many women hurt in so many ways. It makes me sick to think of all of our males who will never know their mate, disgusts me to know that I might have been able to save even one of them if I had tried harder. After a few years, I became a master at blocking everything out around me, shutting down and pretending I didn’t see what was going on.

“I became lonely. I tried to ignore it at first, block it out like I did everything else, but the need to feel loved, to have someone who cared about me even a tiny bit became overwhelming. That’s when I tried to take Rose. She had the main scent, and I thought I had a right to her. I was wrong, and that’s when my life changed. Knox gave me two choices: Sanctuary or death.”

Melony squeezed his hand and fought the urge to cry. She wanted to be strong for him, but the horrors he’d told her of his life made her heart hurt for him. He hadn’t known any better. He’d been a kid led astray by all the wrong people, but when worse came to worst, he’d made the right decision. He’d come to Sanctuary, realized, and had learned from his past mistakes and become an honorable, trustworthy man.

“I’ve never told anyone about my past, and I don’t know if I can ever give you any specific details about it because I don’t want to remember it that well. I hope what I’ve told you is good enough because I really can’t imagine losing you. Remember when I said I’d always keep you safe? Protect you with my life?”

“Yes.”

“I meant it, every word of it. I will never let anything happen to you as long as I have a single breath left in my body. I’m not good with expressing emotions, not sure I even 130

Lycan Christmas

S. K. Yule

understand some of the ones I have when I’m near you, but you mean everything to me. If I have to spend the rest of my life without you, it will be a dark, gloomy existence for my soul because you are like the sun to me. I’m drawn to your warmth, the awing beauty of your glow, and ability to encourage growth and understanding.”

“Oh, Lorent!”

“I can’t tell you I love you, Melony. I don’t know what love feels like, and that’s one thing I want to be sure of before I say it. I can only promise to try to make you happy and spend the rest of my life cherishing you. I won’t lie, though. The intense need I feel to make love to you, claim you is overwhelming for me at times. I will always try to be gentle with you, but the predator in me craves dominance.”

Her body heated, and she leaned toward him and kissed the shallow cleft in his chin.

He shook his head when she tried to move to his lips next. “I want you to think about what I’ve told you, understand exactly what I’ve done in my past. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, to