Dark Desire by Lauren Smith (an ebook reader txt) 📗

She nodded. “I’m okay, Dimitri. Really. You can go back to whatever you were doing—cleaning your guns and talking about assassinations or whatever you guys do.” Her flippant tone didn’t conceal the distress in her eyes.

“Elena . . .” Dimitri cleared his throat. “I made you a promise, one that until tonight did not go against everything I’ve been raised to believe.”

“I know. I know you can’t be with me. That’s really stupid, by the way.” She shot him a glare. “Letting someone tell you who you can and can’t be with?”

“It is . . . but it is the truth. You are above me, Elena.”

“No. I’m not,” she shot back. “I haven’t changed in the last day, Dimitri. I’m just me. My blood doesn’t make me some fairy princess who can’t be with you. So quit being stupid and kiss me.”

She reached for his sweater, grabbing the collar and pulling him to her. He was startled by her bold act and moved instinctively, his hands braced on the bed frame on either side of her body as he leaned in. Her mouth was wonderfully soft, and he lost himself in the pure pleasure of kissing her. He wanted to gather her in his arms and never let go of her. She was the most exquisite thing he’d ever tasted in his life.

Elena’s arms slid up and locked behind his neck. Their mouths moved in perfect harmony with each other, gentle but deepening with every bit of longing he’d ever felt in his life. The touch of her lips jolted his body with an intense awareness. He smelled the clean floral scent of her body, the soft silkiness of her hair, the smooth skin of her cheeks as he pressed light kisses down around her jaw and neck. Her pulse throbbed in her throat, and he let himself count the beats of her heart as he kissed her neck. She wore only a T-shirt, and it would be so easy to push it up and out of his way . . .

The reality of his thoughts came like a bucket of cold water over him. He pulled back. Her hands were still clasped behind his neck, preventing him from making a full retreat. He caught his breath and so did she.

“How bad was your nightmare?” he asked. His hands were still braced on the headboard on either side of her. Dimitri ached to hold her.

“Bad,” she admitted. Her fingertips traced the back of his neck as though the mere act of touching him was enough to calm her.

“You know nothing will harm you, not with me here,” he promised. “I would give my life for you, as would my friends.”

Elena tugged on the hair at the back of his head to force him to look at her.

“Please, Dimitri. I don’t need you to die for me. I need you to be with me. Please choose me, not whatever vow you made that keeps you away. If you want me to be this Romanov descendant of the grand duchess, then you need to give me the one thing I need . . . and that’s you. I want what you promised me. I want you.” The despair and desire in her eyes were an undeniable combination. To be desired for being oneself was such a potent thing.

In that moment, Dimitri knew he would never be able to stay away from her. She was his sun, glowing in the dark universe, and he was pulled into her orbit, bound forever to the stunning force of her beautiful gravity.

“You win, kiska,” he sighed, and that barrier he’d begun to erect around his heart earlier today came crashing down as if the trumpets of Jericho had sounded.

She cupped his face, her green eyes glowing in the dim light. “We do this only if you want me too, remember?”

He closed his eyes, savoring her touch. “I’ve never wanted anything more.”

Her shoulders relaxed, and she traced his lips with a fingertip.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“For what?” he asked, his gaze locked on her mouth.

“For wanting me. I didn’t think . . . I didn’t think anyone would want me after what happened.”

“Elena . . .” Her words were a knife to his heart. How could she think that?

“I know.” Elena’s sigh was heavier than the world itself in that moment. “The therapist said it’s normal to feel that way, but there’s nothing normal about feeling broken, used . . . destroyed from the inside out.”

“You are none of those things. No matter what you think, you aren’t. Do you understand?” He held her gaze, and she managed a nod.

She placed a hand on the bed beside her. “Will you stay?”

As if he could leave her now. As if he had ever been able to. He nearly laughed at the thought, but he didn’t want her to think he was laughing at her.

“I’ll stay, kiska.”

The smile that lit her face was brighter than any of the stars they had seen in the sky tonight. “I was starting to miss that.”

Dimitri pulled his sweater over his head and let it fall to the floor. “Starting to miss what?”

“You calling me kiska.” She blushed a little as she pulled back the covers next to her. “It makes me feel safe.”

Dimitri leaned in and cupped her chin. Her breath hitched so strongly that he felt it pull at him with her quiet desires and eager eyes. He leaned forward, and she licked her lips. He forced himself to speak the words she deserved to hear.

“A strong woman deserves a strong man. Strong women also deserve to feel safe. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Make me feel safe, Dimitri.”

She leaned back in bed, the invitation to be with her so clear and pure. It wasn’t about sex, not tonight–it was about human connection, and he would give her that. He unfastened his jeans and tugged them off. He felt her gaze on his body, and he had to work hard to keep himself from responding. Tonight was not the night for that.