Forever You by Lynn, Sandi (autobiographies to read .txt) 📗

about it. Your emotions will go through different

stages. Right now, you’re hurting pretty bad, next, you’ll be angry, but that’s ok. Be angry, Connor,

because you’ll never begin to heal if you’re not. Just don’t let it cloud your judgment or consume

you.”

He walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. “You’ll be ok. Time heals all wounds, and

you need to give it time.”

I nodded my head and walked out of his office. He was right; I needed time to think, but my head

was so clouded that I didn’t want to think about anything besides going to a bar and drinking my

troubles away. I looked at my watch, and it was only 2:00 pm.

I headed back to the penthouse and grabbed my gym bag. As I was heading towards the door,

Claire walked in.

“Connor? I didn’t expect you back for a few more days,” she said.

“There was a change of plans, Claire,” I said as I stepped in the elevator.

“Do you want me to cook for you tonight?!” she yelled from across the hall.

“No, I’m dining out tonight,” I said as the elevator doors shut.

***

The gym was crowded more than usual today. I changed into my workout clothes, put my iPod on,

and jumped on the treadmill. The treadmill I was on was facing the window that looked out onto the

streets of New York City. Guns N’ Roses was playing on my iPod as I ran fast. I was doing ok until

their song ‘November Rain’ began to play. I should have played the next song, but I couldn’t bring

myself to turn it off. The lyrics reminded me of Ellery and our situation. I needed to keep it together

for fuck sake; I’m in a public place. As I was running and staring at the crowds of people walking

down the street, I saw her. She stopped in front of the window and pulled out her phone from her

purse. She looked like I did, broken and pained. She was still beautiful, and it hurt to see her. She

started walking down the street again, and I wanted to run after her, but I couldn’t. I needed space and

time, and so did she.

I wanted to do some laps around the pool by myself, so I paid the manager a great deal of money to

close the pool for a couple of hours. I did a few laps and sat in the water while I tried to catch my

breath. I loved to swim. The water was a place of escape for me. I felt like I could put myself in a

different place when I was in the water. The last time I played with Collin was in the water at the

beach. That was one week before he died. I think about him almost every day. I sit and wonder what

it would be like if we ran Black Enterprises together. I know my life would be different with him

around. When I was down or got in trouble for something, he’d always say, “Chin up, Connor.

Tomorrow’s another day.” I didn’t think about it that night I was with Ellery at the beach, but being

near the water made me feel closer to Collin because it was the one thing he loved so much. I decided

to do just one last lap around the pool as it was almost time to meet Denny for dinner.

Chapter 15

Denny was already sitting at the table, waiting for me when I arrived at the restaurant. I sat down as

the waitress came over and smiled at me.

“May I get you something to drink?” she smiled as she tilted her head.

“I’ll have a double scotch.” I said without as much as a grin.

Denny was glancing over the menu when he said, “A double scotch, huh?”

I picked up the menu from the table and opened it. “It’s not like it’s too early or anything.”

“I didn’t mean anything by it, Connor,” he said.

“I know you didn’t, Denny,” I said still looking down at the menu.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Denny asked as he closed his menu.

The waitress came over and set down my double scotch in front of me. Denny and I ordered our

meals, then she took our menus and walked away. “Not really,” I answered as I took a sip.

“She loves you, Connor, and I’ve known you long enough to know that you’re in love with her as

well.”

I picked up my glass and lightly swirled the liquid around. “If she truly loved me, she would have

told me that she was sick.”

“And if you truly loved her, you would have told her about Ashlyn, because I damn well know that

you haven’t.”

I sighed as I took another drink. “You sound like my therapist. I saw Ellery today,” I