Dawn of Eve - MJ Howson (read full novel .txt) 📗

Maybe . . . maybe I should take you. Then he can see what a great mother I’d make. Maybe he can stop those pills, too.” Dawn grinned, delighted by the idea of going off her meds. “Maybe he will say I’m all better.”

Dawn waited for Eve to say something, but she remained quiet, tucked beneath the blanket. Dawn shrugged and went back to enjoying the rest of her pastry and coffee. She’d left herself enough time this morning to bring Eve back to her apartment before heading to her appointment. With Eve now coming along, she had time to spare. Dawn placed the empty coffee cup, napkins, and wrapper into the bakery bag. She brought it to a nearby trash bin and tossed it away.

Returning to her bench, Dawn sat beside the stroller and said, “We’ve got extra time this morning, Eve. I wonder what we should do next. Maybe head to Zuni to visit Janet? No. No, that’s probably too far away.”

“Feed me,” Eve said.

“Feed you?” Dawn stared into Eve’s sparkling sapphire eyes. She frowned and looked around her. The nearby benches were filled with people doing different things: A millennial chatting on the phone; a gay couple holding hands exchanging small talk; a mother feeding her daughter potato chips. “I . . . I guess you do need to eat, don’t you?”

Dawn reached into the stroller, unfolded the blanket surrounding Eve, and gently removed the doll. Dawn had never bothered to buy Eve new clothes. The doll wore the same ruby-red dress she had the day she got her. Dawn cradled Eve in one arm and used her other hand to open her coat. She loosened her graphic green scarf, allowing it to fall freely across her chest. Dawn unbuttoned her blouse and slowly removed her left breast. She pulled Eve close, placing the doll’s pink painted lips against her nipple. Eve’s eyes snapped shut. Dawn adjusted Eve’s arms, so her hands gently clutched her breast. She used her scarf to cover Eve’s copper locks, holding her head close. She rocked the doll back and forth and said, “That’s my girl.”

∞∞∞

Dr. Cole adjusted his glasses as he leaned back in his chair, studying his notes. His session with Dawn, now nearing its end, had been what he could only conclude to be a major setback. His plan to dive deeper into her mother’s absence from her life had been sidelined once Dawn arrived with the doll. Dr. Cole’s notepad had questions and comments about Dawn’s fixation over her daily routines and frustration over people not accepting Eve. Throughout the session, Dawn had become more and more defensive, refusing to talk about her mother.

“How’s Jacob?” Dr. Cole asked. “We haven’t touched on him today.”

“Who knows,” Dawn replied, nervously twirling her scarf. “He’s been so distant lately. I . . . I don’t think he likes Eve. Just like you don’t.”

“That’s not true.” Dr. Cole clasped his hands together. “As I said earlier, I wasn’t expecting her.”

“You told me she’d be good for me. Just like those dolls they use for expectant mothers. That’s what you told me!”

“There’s no need to raise your voice. Those dolls are different, Dawn. They’re lifelike and meant to simulate a real baby.”

“But her eyes move. Her hands and legs. Just like a real baby.”

“Yes, but that delicate porcelain, well, it’s not the same.” Dr. Cole could see the disappointment in Dawn’s eyes and debated the best way to correct course. After a few moments, he said, “Let’s focus on Jacob, okay?”

“Okay.” Dawn bit her lip and frowned. “But now that you’ve seen Eve, you know I’m destined to be a good mother, right?”

Dr. Cole smiled and decided it was best to ignore her question. He asked, “Tell me, why do you think Jacob doesn’t like her?”

“Well, he never wants to hold her.” Dawn anxiously spun her ruby and sapphire bracelets back and forth. “He . . . he keeps telling me she’s just a doll and to not treat her like a real baby.”

“I see.” Dr. Cole glanced at the nearby recorder. He knew he would have a lot of follow-up notes to make after the session ended.

“And he didn’t like the stroller. He thought I was going a bit too far. But what happens when I have a real baby? Will he be the same way?”

“It’s hard to say.” Dr. Cole smiled and glimpsed at the clock on the wall, somewhat relieved to see that they’d reached the end of the session. He looked at Dawn and said, “We can dive into that more next time. That reminds me, have you asked Jacob about coming in with you?”

“He . . . he doesn’t seem very interested.”

“Really? Well, hopefully he will change his mind soon.”

“Maybe,” Dawn said, looking at her watch. “Looks like we’re done.” She stood up and grabbed her coat from the back of the chair.

“Dawn, before you go, how are you sleeping?” Dr. Cole asked. “Any side effects from the medication?”

“I sleep just fine.” Dawn tossed her coat on and tucked her scarf inside. “Most nights, I read until I fall asleep.”

“What are you reading these days?” Dr. Cole reached for the stop button on the tape recorder. “Did you finally get those children’s books?”

“What? Oh. Um, no. Sometimes the diary, but . . . .” Dawn looked at Eve buried deep inside the stroller and frowned. “I mean the newspaper.”

Dr. Cole slowly pulled his hand away from the button, leaving the recorder running. He looked at Dawn and asked, “Diary? Your mother’s? Yours?”

“Mine?” Dawn chuckled. “No, I never kept a diary as a kid. Neither did my mother. At least that I’m aware of.”

Dr. Cole leaned back in his chair, causing the hinges to loudly creek. He crossed his arms across his belly and arched his eyebrows.

“I got it where I got Eve,” Dawn said, her eyes darting between the stroller and the doctor. “It came with her.”

“What’s it about?”

“It’s just a bunch of stories about these kids