Johnny & I : The Island by Daria Paus (best novels to read txt) 📗

my own brain, I would’ve laughed at the stupidity. I wasn't laughing now. Because no matter how insane—it was true.

His voice drifted into my overheated mind and I managed to steer my focus away from myself.

"Hey," I whispered. "How are you feelin'?"

He looked at me in silence.

"Johnny?"

He closed his eyes and as I started to think he’d already fallen asleep, he opened them again, focusing his gaze on something far away. Even though I was sitting there, he saw straight through me. I couldn't resist the urge to turn my head to find out what he was watching. A shiver rippled through me and I tried to push the uneasy feeling aside. When he spoke again—the feeling came back stronger.

"Don't go to him," his voice was just a whisper. "Don't leave."

I once again threw a look over my shoulder, then back at him. "What are you talkin' about?"

"He’s worse than ever.”

"Johnny?" I reached out a hand to touch him. "Listen to me."

"He’ll beat the shit out of you."

"Baby?" I gently shook him. "You're dreamin'." I frowned, not sure what was happening to him, but also certain his mind was stuck somewhere far away.

"Please." The tremble of his voice made my heart ache. I had no idea what he was talking about, but whatever he was reliving—it wasn’t pretty.

"Mom, no."

I gasped as the realization hit.

He mumbled something I couldn't hear. I scooted closer to wrap one arm around him, noticing his trembling body. Even though it could be a sign of a rising temperature, the tears that filled his eyes weren’t. I stared at him as he looked right through me.

"What did you do to her?" he whispered. "What do you mean she's not coming back?"

I didn't want to listen to more, but I had no choice. The pain in his voice felt like blades through my heart. I wanted to cry along with him, but I couldn't even move. His words resounded in my mind.

My family was . . . troubled.

I had suspected it had been an understatement, but I hadn’t realized to what extent.

"I hate you, you did this, you—”

My body moved before it registered in my mind. When my legs hit the floor, they buckled and I had to grab the bed to keep from collapsing. As soon as my legs could carry my weight, I fled to the kitchen.

The icepack made him flinch, but the following silence filled me with a deep relief.

"It will be ok." I wasn't sure whether I tried to convince him or myself, and I had no way of knowing that the words I'd spoken were true. The glossiness of his eyes and the dampness of his skin made me fear the opposite. He looked at me, and this time his eyes seemed to focus, blinking a few times as if finally seeing me next to him.

He looked like he wanted to say something, but the words died on his lips and his eyes closed.

So many questions contributed to my already growing anxiety. More of the what-ifs, and the worst of them all—the should've-hads. I hadn't realized that the decision to stay on the island would come to haunt me like this. All I’d wanted was a few extra days with him. What I’d hoped would be a few days of romance had all too quickly turned into another nightmare. The guilt gnawed at me, filling my mind with the worst possible outcomes.

I shook my head to clear it, desperate to get rid of the thoughts that haunted me. No matter what I did I couldn’t convince myself. The voice in my head was back. It laughed at me. Tears filled my eyes and a silent drop rolled down my cheek.

I looked at him, a small, bittersweet smile tugging at my lips. The whirlwind of my own feelings, and his, had me constantly swept off my feet.

I’d been so nervous the first time I’d met him that I hadn't known what to do with myself. It had only been a few days, but it felt like months had passed. All the nervousness was gone and the so-called love I'd had for this man for as long as I could remember, had turned from a fangirl’s crush to real, true love. I cared for him so much it scared me. If he was hurt, I hurt too; when he smiled, it warmed my heart and soul knowing he was happy. I would risk my life for him, hell, I already had, more than once. And yes, I knew that he didn't feel the same for me, but at the moment I couldn't care. His pain was my own, and how I had managed to connect to one person on such a deep level in such a short time was something I couldn’t explain. And how I was still here, with his fever-ridden words freshly resounding in my mind, without any thought of running the hell out of there, was beyond me. Had it been anyone else I would’ve bolted at the first sign of depth. But I couldn't do that now. I didn't want to. Hell, I even dreamt of returning to the mainland as his girl. And the three magical words, which I’d been so careful to avoid at any cost, I was now burning to hear.

You'd have thought I'd gotten used to it by now, but every time I looked at him, I was in awe of his beauty, and I had a feeling it would never change.

"Hey," he whispered. “You should sleep."

I managed to produce a small smile. "So should you."

"I can't." He whispered it so low I could barely hear him. And when he looked at me this time, our eyes met and I flinched. The way he looked at me was more than I could handle. The words hung unspoken in the air, both of us waiting for the other to mention it.

"What happened?" I only managed a trembling whisper, but he knew exactly what I was talking about.

"I