The Wave by Kristen Crusoe (ebook reader online txt) 📗

and woman, husband and wife. Since Devon, they had either been living in denial, fear, or blind faith.

He had reached across and taken her hand.

‘And I am so glad to see you happy again. And if Devon is happy, then that’s a perfect solution.’

Clair had let the argument go, giving his hand a squeeze, then handing him the small, beautifully wrapped package containing the cologne. When he splashed some on before climbing into bed, she had straddled him, her hair falling into her face. She had begun licking the cologne off, starting at his cheeks, then his neck, and carried on down until he reached for her, pulled her to him, holding her so tightly, their skin felt merged, their hearts one beating organ. His knees weakened at the memory. It has been just before their fateful trip to the coast. Before everything changed. He fretted about leaving the scent on or washing it off. In the end, he left it on, thinking it might bring happier memories to Clair too. When he saw her again? And he would, he believed, always see her one more time.

He parked outside the residential unit, building up his nerve to knock on the door. He knew the common room was locked so that only those staying in the apartments could go in and out. While he waited, he saw Jet coming across the parking lot, her yellow dog prancing at her side. A stunning woman, he thought, not for the first time, but terrifying. It was like she could read his mind, know his every thought, and found him lacking. At least, that had been his impression the few times he had met with her to talk about Clair, during her hospitalization. He felt guilty so he thought others thought him guilty also. Even though he had been the one to be poisoned. He shook off the memory. Ancient history, he said to himself, nothing but future thinking now.

He continued watching as Jet and the dog walked up to the residence door, knocked twice, and then pushed the door open. To his surprise, a woman with long, red hair, tied back with a bright purple hairband walked back out with her after a few moments. The woman was tall, slender, and walked like Clair, head high, shoulders back, but this couldn’t be Clair. Then he noticed the coat, and knew it was. She was wearing his coat, the black cashmere falling to her ankles, the collar up shielding her face. The long red hair cascading down the back like a waterfall. A wig, of course. He felt a shiver of something, jealousy, at Jet’s closeness to Clair. He had never believed in therapy, thinking it theater but without the intention. Following their movement as they hiked across the parking lot, weaving around puddles left by yesterday’s storm, he wondered what stories Clair had shared, and what reality she had conveyed to Jet. Each person sees and knows only through their own personal lens. What visions of harm and affliction had Clair passed on, through her telling? And he felt something else, contrition perhaps, at being in a place to be misperceived. If in fact he was.

The dog walked between the two women, every few moments licking Clair’s hand when she reached down to pet its head. They disappeared into the cancer center’s main building. Adam wasn’t sure what to do. Part of him wanted to follow Clair, to be with her, in whatever situation she was about to experience. But he held back. He was overjoyed at seeing her wearing his coat. To him, this meant everything; that she loved him, that she wanted him and his scent, his energy wrapped around her. That she hadn’t given up on him, on them. It was enough. He started the car, backed out of the space, remembering how just yesterday he had made this same move, and how much had changed in so little time. Today, instead of hopeless and helpless, he felt magnetized, as though he could attract all he wanted to himself, just by being alive. He put the car in drive and, looking north, began the journey towards the rest of his life.

Chapter 24

Adam

Claudia was in the theater, working with lighting and stage crews for the upcoming winter showcase. Several young student actors were scattered about the audience seats, offering their feedback on set-ups. A few more lay about onstage, in dancer’s stretch poses, or reading scripts. It was a typical scene and Adam knew he would miss it. Their youth and vitality. The promise of magic on opening night. The shift from the mundane to looking at the world through a new lens. This was his calling, and his craft. And maybe he would return, with his own new story to tell. For now, he had to leave this one place where he had developed as a person and actor, in order to continue growing.

He took a seat in the back row, watching Claudia direct the activities. She had been a good friend to him, and he had known she wanted more. Had he played her along? Yes, probably, because that was who he was then. Even after marrying Clair, their enduring flirtation was a distraction for him, and for her, he wasn’t sure, but he thought it might have represented hope. Feeling bad about this, abashed at his insensitivity, he vowed to be straightforward from now on. Leaving acting for the stage, he would be fully present and honest in his actions in the real world. He laughed inwardly at this idea, knowing that Clair would have said, ‘but there is no real world’. Still, in a world where he and any other person mutually agreed on a reality, he would be honest and authentic.

Acting on his epiphany, he stood and walked down the aisle, smiling and nodding to students as they called out to him, the buzz always there. His pleasure at being liked, respected, noticed. Claudia looked up,