Gilded Tears: A Russian Mafia Romance (Kovalyov Bratva Book 2) by Nicole Fox (novels to read for beginners txt) 📗

I know that she’s just trying to distract me.

I shrug and she cuts me off before I can even open my mouth. “And don’t tell me it’s complicated again.”

“But it is.”

“Fuck you.”

I sigh. “He was… is a dangerous man,” I tell her.

Tonya raises her eyebrows. “Dangerous?” she repeats.

I nod.

“So he did beat you?” she asks with confusion.

“No, no it wasn’t like that,” I try and explain. “He was just… he was involved in… something that I didn’t want in my life.”

“Like drugs and shit?”

“Something like that,” I say. That’s the easiest way to explain it.

“So he was an addict?”

“No.”

“A pusher?”

“Jesus, Tonya, how many times are we gonna do this?” I say, getting a little testy myself. “Does it even matter at this point?”

“Yes, it does,” she insists, with such passion that it takes me by surprise. “Don’t you get it? You had a man that wanted to stick around, wanted to provide for you and protect you. You say he’s dangerous—well, fuck, all the better to protect you, don’t you think?”

When she puts it like that, it all sounds so straightforward.

“He’s only one man,” I say softly. “At the end of the day, no matter how powerful, he’s only one man.”

Tonya shakes her head in disgust. “You really are a fucking princess.”

That pisses me off. “You don’t know me.”

“I know enough,” she snaps back.

“Yeah, just like I know you would have kept your baby if your man hadn’t turned his back on you,” I shoot back at her.

I regret my words immediately. It was a cheap shot, a low bow, spoken in anger.

She winces, confirming the truth of my assessment, but I still feel like the worst person alive. It’s the lack of sleep and the fear and the fact that maybe Tonya knows more about me than I know about myself right now.

It’s all getting to me.

“Sorry,” I mumble immediately. “That was—”

“Fair,” Tonya mutters. “I hit you, so you hit back. Maybe you’re not such a Pollyanna after all.”

I smile. “High praise, coming from you.”

“Don’t get used to it.”

I laugh and after a minute, Tonya starts to laugh, too. The tension dissipates immediately. Tonya’s hunched shoulders relax.

We fade into a soft silence. Tonya is still scraping with her spoon at her empty bowl as though she can refill it with just the force of her imagination.

“Here,” I say, handing her my last piece of bread. “I’m full.”

“Like hell you are.”

“I’m serious,” I insist. “I’ve had my fill. Just take it.”

“I don’t take charity.”

“Tonya, you live in a fucking shelter,” I point out.

The woman glares at me for a moment like a feral animal.

And then laughter snorts out through her nose.

“Jesus, bitch has claws!” she says admiringly. But she takes the piece of bread I’m holding out to her.

She chews and contemplates for a while. I keep Phoenix close to me. He’s finally fallen asleep, thank the Lord.

“She’s still staring at you,” Tonya says after a minute. I don’t even have to look to know who she’s talking about.

“What’s her story?” I ask, resisting the urge to look in Nancy’s direction.

“Fuck if I know,” she replies. “She’s been in and out of this shelter for a couple of years now. The story changes every time. She definitely served time though.”

“Served time?” I echo in alarm. “For what?”

Tonya glances at me. “I dunno. There are rumors though.”

“Yeah?”

Tonya’s eyes dip down to Phoenix and then back to me. “One rumor is that she did it for killing her kid.”

My body goes cold. “Are you serious?”

“But that’s just a rumor,” Tonya says quickly. “It’s more likely that she was caught in possession of drugs or some shit. Woman’s an addict, after all.”

I take a deep breath and wrap an arm around Phoenix, securing him to my chest. “She seems a little… unhinged.”

“Yeah, well, drugs will do that to you,” Tonya says with a shrug.

“How does she even get her hands on it?” I ask.

“Fucks for money,” she says matter-of-factly. “Woman’s gotta do what she’s gotta do, I suppose.”

I shudder, trying desperately not to judge, but the fear for my son has grown. I never liked the way she looked at Phoenix.

Now, I have legitimate reason not to.

“She asked to hold Phoenix again yesterday,” I admit to Tonya.

“Did you tell her to go fuck herself?”

“I told her I needed to feed him,” I reply. “She disappeared after that.”

“Don’t worry. She’s not gonna steal your baby.”

But suddenly, I’m not so certain.

I can still feel Nancy’s eyes on my back. It’s making me increasingly uncomfortable.

“Don’t you wish you’d stayed with your man now?” Tonya asks.

I glare at her. “Shut up.”

I haven’t been idle the last few days. I’ve been planning my next move.

I have decided to head for the ocean. There’s a little beach town that I’ve looked into called Loral Beach. A bus route runs periodically from here to there.

I’m hoping I’ll be able to find work once I arrive. What I’m going to do with Phoenix, I still don’t know, but one step at a time.

The only other question is when to leave. I’ve given myself another week at the shelter because I need to heal up a little more and recuperate.

Once I get to Loral Beach, I’ll need to start working immediately. That’s the only way I’ll be able to rent out a place for Phoenix and I.

It’s not the greatest plan I’ve ever had, but it’s my only option. I don’t want to stay in this shelter any longer than I need to.

I’m already pushing my luck by staying this long.

“Hey, where’d you go?” Tonya asks, waving a hand in my face.

“Nowhere,” I say with a shake of my head.

“You’re always thinking,” she observes. “About your man?”

“About my future,” I correct.

She smirks. “Right.” She folds her arms and leans over the table. “You don’t plan on staying here long, do you, Princess Pollyanna?”

I purse my lips together and gesture to the piece of bread that’s still in her hands. “Just eat,” I sigh.

26

Esme

After we’re done with dinner, Tonya heads over