Deep (Heavy Hearts Book 2) by Sarah Duncan (red seas under red skies txt) 📗

we arrive at my new home, AKA Marcus’s house, AKA Ayden’s house, AKA my new place of torture, Andrea fusses over me and takes me upstairs to Rachel’s old bedroom. It’s strange being back in the house I used to play in for hours with Abbey, Marcus and Jared when we were little. I remember wanting to be like Rachel when I grew up. I was fascinated with her, but now as I stand in her bedroom, which hasn’t been changed since she moved out, I wonder what the big deal was. After all, this room is all girly and frilly, and I am a no-frill, cover my walls with tattooed guys, type of girl. Rachel’s room speaks Barbie, and I’m more Grand Theft Auto.

“Barb, my sister, said you can redecorate the room to suit your style. She asked Rachel if it was okay first, don’t worry.” Andrea carries one of my bags into the lilac bedroom, placing it on the pink floral bed. Jesus, this room gives me a headache.

“Lexi, I need to apologise to you.” Andrea’s pained voice draws my attention away from the bookshelf lined with creepy dolls. The first thing I need to do is remove those scary fucking things. “I should have chased after you that day when you left. I should never have accepted what Ayden said after he reached out to Marcus and told me you were staying with a friend. You were never staying with a friend, were you?”

I don’t want to get Ayden and Marcus into trouble, but I also don’t want to lie to Andrea. She is offering me a home, even if it is temporary. I owe her my honesty. I can only assume that Marcus and Ayden told her I was staying with a friend thinking they were helping me somehow.

“There was no friend. I went home.”

“You mean you stayed in that house all alone for all that time?” Andrea’s eyes turn glassy.

I shrug. “I wasn’t alone the whole time. Marcus and the guys from school started staying with me last week. They’ve been looking out for me.”

Tears fall from Andrea’s eyes, and she pulls me in for a hug that I didn’t realise how much I needed until this moment.

“I’m sorry, Lexi. I should have done more to help you.”

I pull back and look at her. “You had already done so much for me, and I was just getting in the way. Ayden needed you more than I did. I was fine. I really was.” I’m lying again. My honesty didn’t even last a minute. I’m going to hell!

We both still when we hear voices downstairs, so I insist that I’m okay to unpack my things, and Andrea leaves me to it. When I hear raised voices, mainly Andrea’s, I know the voices we heard must have been the boys, and now they are getting more strips torn off them. I feel bad. I don’t want to cause anyone distress or get anyone into trouble. It’s the last thing I want.

More voices come from downstairs, some I don’t recognise, which just reminds me I’m an intruder in this house, so I focus on unpacking a few of my things into the empty dresser drawers.

“Can I come in?” Ayden’s voice floats across the small bedroom, and I look up from the dresser to see his head peeking around the door. I give him a nod, and he steps in, closing the door behind him.

Nerves unsettle me now that we are closed in the small space together.

“Man, this room is hideous!” Ayden screws his face up, looking around, which makes me giggle.

“I can see why you were happy to take the loft above the garage when you moved here.”

“Hell yeah. This is terrifying.” Ayden leans down, examining the dolls on the bookshelf, making me laugh again.

Then awkward silence fills the space.

“Sorry about hitting you,” Ayden looks away from the dolls to focus on me when I speak. “I hope I didn’t hurt you?”

“I’ve got thick skin.” He smiles, reminding me just how adorable his dimples are.

“Well, even so. I’m sorry. I guess I’m not coping the best. Maybe I should be locked up in a hospital like my mum instead of here with your family.”

Two strides across the small space, and Ayden is before me, his gentle hands gripping my upper arms.

“Don’t say that, Lex. You know that’s not true. You belong here, and you should never have had to deal with the likes of Tasha.”

I look down at our feet, too nervous to look him in the eye when we are standing so close. I can feel the warmth from his hands seeping past my shirt and heating my skin. I fight the urge to fall into him and take what I need. I won’t though. I need to be strong. I need to give him the chance to move on and find his own happiness. It will be harder now that I’m here, but I have to make sure I stay strong, for him.

“Lex.” He whispers when I don’t respond to him. “I meant everything I said in that message this morning. I am sorry. So sorry. I can’t even describe the pain I feel when I think of how I treated you. I know I don’t deserve forgiveness, but fuck, I’m a selfish arsehole, and I want it because I want you.”

A sob jumps up my throat, and I step back out of his hold, needing more space between us before I cave.

“Lex.” Ayden’s voice is pained, and it claws at my heart.

“I’m sorry, Ayden. I don’t need to forgive you because you did nothing wrong. I don’t hold any grudges against you.”

“But you’re so angry at me.”

I look up to see the concern etched across his handsome face, and I swear my heart breaks all over again.

“Aren’t you angry at me, Ayden? The way you looked at me at the counsellor’s office yesterday... you looked like you hated me. Besides that,” I suck in air