Radley's Home for Horny Monsters by Annabelle Hawthorne (best novels for teenagers .TXT) 📗

“Cow fuck live in Labyrinth with other fucks!” Tink sniffed once, twice, then let out a wail. “Tink wants goggles back!”

“Tink, I...” Mike didn’t know what to say. The goblin was melting down, her rough exterior suddenly cracked. How could he tell her that he didn’t think messing with a minotaur was worth it? What did that even entail?  Beth groaned, putting a hand to her head. “We need to take care of this situation first. We will figure out the goggles later.” Kneeling, he pulled Tink toward him and placed a kiss on her forehead.

“Goblin husband promise?” she asked, sniffling. When Mike nodded, Tink wiped the tears from her eyes, her composure back again. “Then Tink help.”

Between the two of them, it was easy to drag Beth out to Naia’s fountain. Cecilia, having heard the noise downstairs, had floated through the ceiling to open the back door.

Abella picked up Beth and held her like a child until she began to stir. Then she wrapped her arms tightly around Beth’s waist, ensuring that she couldn’t escape.

Naia sat on the fountain’s edge, her chin on her hand in contemplation. “Abella explained everything to me,” she informed Mike. “And we need to come up with a plan before she wakes up. From what I remember, last time Jenny took a human host, the host was killed to keep her from causing more problems. The time before that, it took an exorcism with a priest to boot her out, and then the priest came back later to try to wipe us out. Hence why we started killing the host.”

“Shit,” Mike muttered. Jenny really had caused problems. “Who is she?”

“A ghost. An old ghost.” Naia stood on the water’s surface. “Once upon a time, she was a young woman who caught the eye of a widower in town who was quite wealthy and handsome. Jealous of the attention she received from him, some of the local women accused her of witchcraft, of killing the man’s wife and seducing him with the dark arts. They burned her at the stake, and her soul got caught in the doll that a little girl was holding. Her vessel has changed a few times since then, but she refuses to move on.” Naia shook her head. “And all she ever does is cause us trouble.”

“So we can’t get a priest,” Mike said. “And we are not going to kill her. So what can we do?”

“Hmm.” Cecilia stared at Beth. “Upon termination, her soul should immediately flee the host body for the afterlife, yet it ends up back in the doll and the host is still dead. Which doesn’t make sense, because I get the impression that Beth’s soul sleeps in the doll, meaning Jenny should simply pass on while Beth remains trapped. But that isn’t what happens.”

“And?” Naia asked.

“It’s on the tip of my tongue.” Cecilia shrugged.

“Wait!” Mike held out his hands. “Jenny died in a fire, but her soul jumped out of her body before it died, right?”

“Probably,” Cecilia told him. “That’s the assumption.”

“Which means she always jumps out before death. So we just need Jenny to think that her body is going to die.”

“And how do we do that?” Abella asked.

“Strangle her.” Tink’s hands clenched. “Squeeze for almost too long.”

“No, not that either.” Mike grinned, looking at Naia. “I think I have an idea.”

La Petite Mort

“Are we ready?” Mike asked.

The others nodded, each one at their respective station. Tink had tied Beth to a chair which had been placed in the fountain and stood behind her with a knife at the ready. Abella was out of sight, watching from up above in case anything went wrong. She had explicit instructions to do whatever it took to protect the members of the house. Naia stood behind Beth, her lips a crooked smirk.

“We are ready,” Cecilia said, standing next to him.

Mike took a deep breath, then grasped Cecilia’s hand and stepped into the fountain with her. Even though her feet penetrated the water’s surface, no ripples emanated outward.

“I think you’re crazy,” Naia told him. “And I love you for it.”

“I just hope this works,” he muttered. He looked over at the doll they had placed on the opposite end of the fountain. Beth had nearly woken up several times, but Naia had kept her in a magical slumber. Simple magic, she had informed him. “Wake her up.”

Several colorful bubbles floated free of the water’s surface, then circled Beth and popped near her face. She opened pitch-black eyes, scowling menacingly at Mike.

“Ok, Jenny, this is your last chance.” Mike addressed the spirit in Beth’s body with anger. “You can leave her body now, or we will make you leave.”

“You can’t touch me,” Beth hissed, the water at her feet spraying upward. “No refunds, no take backs, no cuts, no buts, no alligator guts. This is a good body, and I want to keep it forever and ever and ever. And I know you aren’t going to hurt it, so there’s nothing you can do about it!”

“I think you underestimate not only me, but the women here to help. Beth is a good person, but if I have to make a choice between letting you cause trouble or killing her...” Mike shook his head. “I don’t pretend to fully understand where you are coming from, but I’ll be damned if I let you bring more trouble to this home.” He looked at Cecilia, who was staring daggers at Beth. “Let’s do this.”

Cecilia leaned in toward Mike, her skirt flaring outward as she placed her lips against his. They were soft and cool, and already he felt the static building between them, little sparks dancing between their lips. She pressed herself against him and kissed his neck. “Do you honestly think this will work?” she whispered, her cold breath raising the hairs on his neck.

“You’re the one who said that her senses are extra sensitive right now,” he whispered back, watching Beth. She was pretending to