Foes & Cons by Carrie Aarons (i am malala young readers edition .txt) 📗

fusing my lips to hers as my cock grows to the point where it feels like electric charges are shooting down my spine.

She’s mewling into my mouth, and I want her to come again, but I’m not sure how long I can hang on.

“Let go.” One smooth hand strokes down my spine, and I’m nearly a goner.

“I love you.”

The words are whispered as I explode, my vision going white. I bury my face into her neck, inhaling nothing but Blair.

I’m pretty sure I’m still chanting her name as I detox off my climax.

And I know now that I’ll never be the same, not after this. She’s branded me, heart and soul.

33

Blair

I’ve never felt so calm and so flustered all in the same moment.

Sawyer’s arms anchor me, wrapping around my naked torso as I press my cheek and ear into his chest. The rhythm of his heartbeat matches my own as we both try to catch our breath.

“Never before …” He sighs, his fingers playing a melody up and down my spine.

Sawyer doesn’t complete the thought, but he doesn’t have to. I know what he means.

The only way I can describe sex is as the ultimate physical show of love. While he was inside me, with our eyes never leaving each other, I felt like my heart might combust. The organ in my chest just about exploded, with every emotion across the board passing through our connected gazes. Not only has my body never felt the things Sawyer did to it, but I feel so very cherished at this moment. He wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to make love to me. With me.

I want to do that forever with him.

“I love you.” I snuggle closer, the bliss of my orgasm still washing over me.

“Are you hurt?” Sawyer’s voice is hesitant.

My head shakes. “Only a little. Mostly, it felt … amazing.”

“That’s all I wanted.” I can hear the smile in his voice.

“Was it, was I, good for you?” I’m insecure because he’s been with other girls.

Knowing he isn’t a virgin and I am is part of what held me back, and I pray that Sawyer felt the exact same way as I did when we were connected.

He brushes a kiss over my lips. “No one else compares to you.”

I shouldn’t need to hear that, but my ego puffs its chest out, nonetheless.

I trace figure eights into his abs, and he squirms a little from the sensation but doesn’t tell me to stop. Physically, there is nothing we have left between us to resolve. Every last shred of unknown is gone, and all I want to do is feel what we just did over and over and over again.

But emotionally, there is still one domino left that I need to topple over, even if I don’t want to.

“Why did you write it in the first place?” My voice is quiet as I ask it, and I’m glad I’m lying in his arms so that I can’t look him directly in the eyes.

I’m not sure I want the answer, the real answer, but I know I need it. I’ve always needed to get to the heart of the truth before I can move past it, even if it’s going to hurt like a bitch.

Sawyer is quiet for a moment or two, his thumb smoothing up and down my bare arm. And then he starts.

“I was a dumbass kid who was afraid of his own feelings about his best friend. About the girl he’s known since childhood. I was confused, and trying to sabotage anything that could have happened between us. Also, they were private thoughts.”

I can hear the disapproval in his voice, and I blanch. “I’m sorry. I know part of this is on me, I never should have been snooping.”

He sighs. “No, you shouldn’t have. You were snooping and it led to the end of our friendship. But, I wrote them. The thing is, I barely thought any of those cons. I was trying to come up with reasons not to pursue you, because I wanted to so fucking badly.”

My heart flutters but weeps at the same time; how much time have we wasted? We’re both to blame, but I can’t help but think about what the past two years would have looked like if we were busy falling in love with each other. Now, our clock is ticking too quickly with college looming on the horizon.

Sawyer tightens his hold just a little, drawing me closer to his naked chest. “You took those innermost thoughts and used them against me without ever explaining why. I was hurt, B. Losing you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

“We were both so immature.” The knot in my throat threatens to dissolve into a fit of tears. “I never should have done it the way I did. I should have yelled, I should have screamed at you. The way I cast our bond aside was so wrong. The only thing I can say is that I was so hurt, I could barely see straight. I’m sorry, too, Sawyer.”

I press a kiss to his chest, right where his heart beats beneath.

“The night of that party? I was going to kiss you in the closet. I couldn’t believe my luck, that the bottle landed on you. It was finally the excuse that gave me enough courage to man up and do it. I’d wanted to for so long. I remember being so goddamn nervous leading you into that closet. And then …”

A cloud of regret and despair settles over us, even after the intimateness we just shared. He doesn’t let go of me, but I can feel him becoming more and more distant.

“So do it now. Kiss me now. Tell me everything you would have in that closet.” I prop up on an elbow and lean over him, my lips all but grazing his.

I watch as those full lips transform into a smirk, the dimple in his right cheek making an appearance