Harley Merlin 12 by Bella Forrest (story books to read TXT) 📗

one advantage of being cut off, right? He can’t hear you, even if he wanted to?” I hoped.

She lowered her head. “A very small advantage, yes.”

“There has to be something you can do to prevent your demise, as you put it.” Santana leaned even farther, to the point where I worried about the flames.

Safiya lifted her gaze, the firelight intensifying her burning stare. “There is one way, though it is only to be used in the direst emergency. This certainly qualifies.” She took in a deep breath. “If the djinn gather with one objective, we can go to Tartarus and speak with Erebus to gain more control. In truth, it would do more than that—it would free us from our maker altogether if we all chose at once, as a collective.”

“Wouldn’t that put you in the same position you’re in now?” I couldn’t figure out how it would help them, since they’d still be cut off from Erebus.

“A valid inquiry. We would be excised with a quantity of his power flowing into us and staying there. As such, we would no longer be subservient to him. Those bound to magicals would be extricated immediately upon Erebus relinquishing his hold—it would be like wiping the slate entirely clean and starting again. Ultimately, it would leave us all as weaker entities, but we would be truly free.”

A bristle of nervous chatter rose as Safiya spoke.

Free? Extricated? That means… I would be able to have a family with Santana.

My heart lurched at the prospect. I knew that attempting to remove a djinn usually resulted in both parties dying, but this would be different. This would be, as Safiya had said, wiping the slate clean. I imagined the wrench would still hurt, but if it meant I could have a future with Santana, I’d go through every pain under the sun to make it happen.

Traitor. Kadar’s voice ricocheted through my brain. A second later, he ripped through me without warning and took over. “You’re talking about staging a coup, you vile bottom-feeders. I ought to tear every one of your heads from your shoulders, pluck your hearts through what’s left of your throats, and stick them on a sacrificial altar to Erebus for this betrayal.”

“You are young, Kadar.” Safiya’s tone softened. “You have not been made to bow and scrape beneath his autocracy. You have not experienced the shared misery, witnessed through the djinn’s hivemind.”

Kadar bristled with anger. “You are what you are. You would not exist without Erebus. You ought to kiss his boots instead of whining about injustice.”

I fought back, trying to claw my way up from the depths Kadar had shoved me into. “Kadar, think about what—”

He forced me into submission again, just as he’d done at Ignatius’s—locking me down so I couldn’t get out. “This isn’t your fight, and you don’t get a say!” Kadar yelled. “You do not owe Erebus as we do, so keep your nose out of it. If you do not, I will cut it off to spite us both.”

Kadar, think about what this could mean for me and Santana. I tried to get him to listen, but he was too far gone.

And what about me and Santana? he replied violently. Or do you not give a damn about me anymore?

I sat silently and retreated to the corner of my mind that belonged solely to me. Kadar couldn’t get in here. I’d built it long ago when I realized he could read my every thought and delve into my brain whenever he liked. My safe haven in this safe haven of Salameh. He wouldn’t stop me from hoping, not if it meant we both got to survive and live on our own terms. Why couldn’t he see what was being offered?

We’d miss each other, sure, but the world would be our oyster—separate entities, at long last. And we could still be in one another’s lives if we wanted, the “if” being the important part. No more forced symbiosis. He should’ve jumped for joy; I certainly wanted to. When Kadar glanced at Santana, she had tears in her eyes. No doubt she understood what this meant, too, especially after Kadar’s earlier outburst.

This separation sounded like a viable way to have a family with Santana. If Erebus was forced to relent, the djinn would be healthy and continue existing, though they would be less powerful. But who wouldn’t exchange that for freedom from Erebus’s shackles?

Kadar… that was who.

“Stay down! I’ve had just about enough of you!” he bellowed. And with that, the doors locked on my safe haven, shutting me inside. Judging by his ire, I didn’t know when, or if, I’d emerge again.

Twenty-One

Kadar

Santana, Santana, Santana. Raffe’s head spun with nothing but her. My head, too. In our shared blood, she throbbed endlessly—an insipid disease that neither of us wanted to cure. But sometimes, he just couldn’t see the wood for the trees.

I’d been with him longer. I’d been part of him since birth. One whisper of getting free of me, and he’d jumped for it. Coward. Wretched weakling.

How’s that for gratitude? I kept this fool warm when he should’ve shivered. I gave him strength when he’d otherwise have gotten trampled. I focused him when distraction snapped his attention the wrong way. And I gave him the bad-boy edge that kept our woman interested. Santana would’ve been yawning if I hadn’t brought some spice to our trio. Sometimes, I sensed her yearning for me to come out instead of Raffe. But, selfish to a fault, Raffe thought it was all about him and his wants.

Maybe I could forgive that. Raffe dreamt of freedom when he thought I wasn’t listening. He entertained his idealistic mental pictures of a future without me. And liberation wouldn’t have been so bad, all things considered. I wouldn’t mind sowing my wild oats, so to speak, flexing this djinn muscle however I liked, not worrying about my host losing his mind. But breaking loose of Erebus… I had