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an idiot.

Gavin chuckles and kisses me lightly on the tip of my nose, causing a heat to spread across my face. "Wow, is absolutely right," he says, his adorable dimple finally appearing in his cheek.

I lay my head against Gavin's chest and cuddle against him, unable to stop my own goofy smile from emerging.

***

Cuddling into Gavin while straddling his hips is about the best feeling I could imagine, other than when he kisses me of course. We have been holding one another for a few minutes but my mind runs wild with questions, so I finally speak up.

"When did you start loving me, exactly?" I ask him.

Gavin holds me tightly to him and is quiet for a moment, just leaving the sounds of the woods surrounding us. "That day that Thrane attacked you in the woods outside my mother's house." I lean back and look up at him, surprised.

"Why then?" I ask, shocked that he has felt this way for so long.

He shrugs, suddenly seeming shy which just makes me want to kiss him again. "When I heard you whisper my name, your voice sounded so scared. My heart broke instantly, and I just knew that I needed to see you and make sure you were okay. It's then that I realized I couldn't survive if anything ever happened to you." He looks into my eyes and I know that he is being sincere.

I brush my fingers across his cheek, wanting to reassure him that I'm here and okay. He leans into my hand with his eyes closed.

"How have you known that you loved me all this time and been able to stay away so easily?" I ask.

Gavin scoffs, his eyebrows shooting up. "Easily?" he asks way too loudly. "That was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life! I knew that I wanted to be with you and also that I needed to stay away. I was completely miserable."

I laugh at his outburst. "Why didn't you just tell me then?"

He absently traces the lines on the palm of my hand. "I knew how difficult it had to be for you, coming into this whole world and practically being forced to participate. I knew you were scared, and I didn't want to scare you more.” He stares down at our linked hands, avoiding my eyes. "Lex wanted me to tell you but I was just so afraid you wouldn't choose me, especially after I heard that you found out about Intendeds. Sophia said you were pretty freaked out and you didn't look happy about it, so I thought that meant you made your decision."

"It's not a decision, Gavin," I say, drawing his attention back to me. "I've known that I wanted you from the moment you crashed into me in class that first day. I was only so upset at finding out about our connection because I thought you had been avoiding me because you didn't want to choose me." I laugh softly. "I guess we were both being stupid."

Gavin leans in and brushes his lips softly against mine, proving to me that he is here, and he is mine now.

"If I have my way, you will be so sick of me that you'll wish you never told me that you loved me," he whispers against my eager and smiling lips.

I smile. "Impossible." I say before I tangle my fingers in his thick hair and pull his mouth back against mine, getting lost in him as all of my fears and pain float away.

Chapter 12

Gavin keeps telling me that we are close to where he left the car, but I’m seriously doubting his definition of the word. 'Close' to Gavin has been hours of hiking through a very thick forest. I am about to complain again like a little kid who has to pee, when I see his mother's red Tahoe parked across a small clearing.

I sigh loudly, grateful that we have finally made it. "Thank the heavens!" I shout, ready to collapse.

Gavin laughs and turns back to me. He takes my walking stick from me and tosses it into the weeds. He bends down and sweeps me up, cradling me in his arms. I giggle and rest my head against his shoulder.

"All right, complainer, I'll carry you the rest of the way.” He grins at me.

“My hero!” I snuggle into his chest.

I think about how he found me out in the middle of nowhere. "How did you even know where to look when you realized I was gone?" I ask, wanting to hear his side of the story.

He shifts me higher in his arms. "When I followed you into the woods by my house, I could feel you nearby, and then the tug on my heart became extraordinarily strong, like you were moving away from me too fast. I guess that's when Thrane took you. I panicked because I knew that you couldn't have run that fast yet."

Gavin sets me down when we reach the vehicle and grabs the keys from his backpack, unlocking the car with the push of a button. He helps me into the passenger’s side and then blurs to his side. I don't know if I'll ever get used to that.

He starts the car and heads down the dirt road before continuing his story. "Buckle up. You don't need any more injuries than you already have," he tells me, and I smile as I obey. "Anyways, I followed for a while, but I kept losing your trail. I think Thrane must’ve known I was nearby, so he was misleading me by going in all kinds of circles."

Gavin reaches for my hand and laces our fingers together. My heart feels happy from the contact. "When I knew I wasn't going to be able to find you right then, I ran back to my house and gathered some things together, ready for a trip. I called Alexa and told her to bring Kassy to our Mom's and meet me there. We

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