The Art of Money Getting - P. T. Barnum (top novels TXT) 📗

what can I do?” He happened to

see “Boots,” the Irishman. “Pat,” said he, “wash your hands and face;

take that white apron and come into the dining-room in five minutes.”

Presently Pat appeared as required, and the proprietor said: “Now Pat,

you must stand behind these two chairs, and wait on the gentlemen who

will occupy them; did you ever act as a waiter?”

 

“I know all about it, sure, but I never did it.”

 

Like the Irish pilot, on one occasion when the captain, thinking he was

considerably out of his course, asked, “Are you certain you understand

what you are doing?”

 

Pat replied, “Sure and I knows every rock in the channel.”

 

That moment, “bang” thumped the vessel against a rock.

 

“Ah! be-jabers, and that is one of ‘em,” continued the pilot. But to

return to the dining-room. “Pat,” said the landlord, “here we do

everything systematically. You must first give the gentlemen each a

plate of soup, and when they finish that, ask them what they will have

next.”

 

Pat replied, “Ah! an’ I understand parfectly the vartues of shystem.”

 

Very soon in came the guests. The plates of soup were placed before

them. One of Pat’s two gentlemen ate his soup; the other did not care

for it. He said: “Waiter, take this plate away and bring me some fish.”

Pat looked at the untasted plate of soup, and remembering the

instructions of the landlord in regard to “system,” replied: “Not till

ye have ate yer supe!”

 

Of course that was carrying “system” entirely too far.

READ THE NEWSPAPERS

Always take a trustworthy newspaper, and thus keep thoroughly posted in

regard to the transactions of the world. He who is without a newspaper

is cut off from his species. In these days of telegraphs and steam, many

important inventions and improvements in every branch of trade are being

made, and he who don’t consult the newspapers will soon find himself and

his business left out in the cold.

 

BEWARE OF “OUTSIDE OPERATIONS”

 

We sometimes see men who have obtained fortunes, suddenly become poor.

In many cases, this arises from intemperance, and often from gaming, and

other bad habits. Frequently it occurs because a man has been engaged in

“outside operations,” of some sort. When he gets rich in his legitimate

business, he is told of a grand speculation where he can make a score of

thousands. He is constantly flattered by his friends, who tell him that

he is born lucky, that everything he touches turns into gold. Now if he

forgets that his economical habits, his rectitude of conduct and a

personal attention to a business which he understood, caused his success

in life, he will listen to the siren voices. He says:

 

“I will put in twenty thousand dollars. I have been lucky, and my good

luck will soon bring me back sixty thousand dollars.”

 

A few days elapse and it is discovered he must put in ten thousand

dollars more: soon after he is told “it is all right,” but certain

matters not foreseen, require an advance of twenty thousand dollars

more, which will bring him a rich harvest; but before the time comes

around to realize, the bubble bursts, he loses all he is possessed of,

and then he learns what he ought to have known at the first, that

however successful a man may be in his own business, if he turns from

that and engages ill a business which he don’t understand, he is like

Samson when shorn of his locks his strength has departed, and he becomes

like other men.

 

If a man has plenty of money, he ought to invest something in everything

that appears to promise success, and that will probably benefit mankind;

but let the sums thus invested be moderate in amount, and never let a

man foolishly jeopardize a fortune that he has earned in a legitimate

way, by investing it in things in which he has had no experience.

 

DON’T INDORSE WITHOUT SECURITY

 

I hold that no man ought ever to indorse a note or become security, for

any man, be it his father or brother, to a greater extent than he can

afford to lose and care nothing about, without taking good security.

Here is a man that is worth twenty thousand dollars; he is doing a

thriving manufacturing or mercantile trade; you are retired and living

on your money; he comes to you and says:

 

“You are aware that I am worth twenty thousand dollars, and don’t owe a

dollar; if I had five thousand dollars in cash, I could purchase a

particular lot of goods and double my money in a couple of months; will

you indorse my note for that amount?”

 

You reflect that he is worth twenty thousand dollars, and you incur no

risk by endorsing his note; you like to accommodate him, and you lend

your name without taking the precaution of getting security. Shortly

after, he shows you the note with your endorsement canceled, and tells

you, probably truly, “that he made the profit that he expected by the

operation,” you reflect that you have done a good action, and the

thought makes you feel happy. By and by, the same thing occurs again and

you do it again; you have already fixed the impression in your mind that

it is perfectly safe to indorse his notes without security.

 

But the trouble is, this man is getting money too easily. He has only to

take your note to the bank, get it discounted and take the cash. He gets

money for the time being without effort; without inconvenience to

himself. Now mark the result. He sees a chance for speculation outside

of his business. A temporary investment of only $10,000 is required. It

is sure to come back before a note at the bank would be due. He places a

note for that amount before you. You sign it almost mechanically. Being

firmly convinced that your friend is responsible and trustworthy; you

indorse his notes as a “matter of course.”

 

Unfortunately the speculation does not come to a head quite so soon as

was expected, and another $10,000 note must be discounted to take up the

last one when due. Before this note matures the speculation has proved

an utter failure and all the money is lost. Does the loser tell his

friend, the endorser, that he has lost half of his fortune? Not at all.

He don’t even mention that he has speculated at all. But he has got

excited; the spirit of speculation has seized him; he sees others making

large sums in this way (we seldom hear of the losers), and, like other

speculators, he “looks for his money where he loses it.” He tries again.

endorsing notes has become chronic with you, and at every loss he gets

your signature for whatever amount he wants. Finally you discover your

friend has lost all of his property and all of yours. You are

overwhelmed with astonishment and grief, and you say “it is a hard

thing; my friend here has ruined me,” but, you should add, “I have also

ruined him.” If you had said in the first place, “I will accommodate

you, but I never indorse without taking ample security,” he could not

have gone beyond the length of his tether, and he would never have been

tempted away from his legitimate business. It is a very dangerous thing,

therefore, at any time, to let people get possession of money too

easily; it tempts them to hazardous speculations, if nothing more.

Solomon truly said “he that hateth suretiship is sure.”

 

So with the young man starting in business; let him understand the value

of money by earning it. When he does understand its value, then grease

the wheels a little in helping him to start business, but remember, men

who get money with too great facility cannot usually succeed. You must

get the first dollars by hard knocks, and at some sacrifice, in order to

appreciate the value of those dollars.

ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS

We all depend, more or less, upon the public for our support. We all

trade with the public—lawyers, doctors, shoemakers, artists,

blacksmiths, showmen, opera stagers, railroad presidents, and college

professors. Those who deal with the public must be careful that their

goods are valuable; that they are genuine, and will give satisfaction.

When you get an article which you know is going to please your

customers, and that when they have tried it, they will feel they have

got their money’s worth, then let the fact be known that you have got

it. Be careful to advertise it in some shape or other because it is

evident that if a man has ever so good an article for sale, and nobody

knows it, it will bring him no return. In a country like this, where

nearly everybody reads, and where newspapers are issued and circulated

in editions of five thousand to two hundred thousand, it would be very

unwise if this channel was not taken advantage of to reach the public in

advertising. A newspaper goes into the family, and is read by wife and

children, as well as the head of the home; hence hundreds and thousands

of people may read your advertisement, while you are attending to your

routine business. Many, perhaps, read it while you are asleep. The whole

philosophy of life is, first “sow,” then “reap.” That is the way the

farmer does; he plants his potatoes and corn, and sows his grain, and

then goes about something else, and the time comes when he reaps. But he

never reaps first and sows afterwards. This principle applies to all

kinds of business, and to nothing more eminently than to advertising. If

a man has a genuine article, there is no way in which he can reap more

advantageously than by “sowing” to the public in this way. He must, of

course, have a really good article, and one which will please his

customers; anything spurious will not succeed permanently because the

public is wiser than many imagine. Men and women are selfish, and we all

prefer purchasing where we can get the most for our money and we try to

find out where we can most surely do so.

 

You may advertise a spurious article, and induce many people to call and

buy it once, but they will denounce you as an impostor and swindler, and

your business will gradually die out and leave you poor. This is right.

Few people can safely depend upon chance custom. You all need to have

your customers return and purchase again. A man said to me, “I have

tried advertising and did not succeed; yet I have a good article.”

 

I replied, “My friend, there may be exceptions to a general rule. But

how do you advertise?”

 

“I put it in a weekly newspaper three times, and paid a dollar and a

half for it.” I replied: “Sir, advertising is like learning—‘a little

is a dangerous thing!’”

 

A French writer says that “The reader of a newspaper does not see the

first mention of an ordinary advertisement; the second insertion he

sees, but does not read; the third insertion he reads; the fourth

insertion, he looks at the price; the fifth insertion, he speaks of it

to his wife; the sixth insertion, he is ready to purchase, and the

seventh insertion, he purchases.” Your object in advertising is to make

the public understand what you have got to sell, and if you have not the

pluck to keep advertising, until you have imparted that information, all

the money you have spent is lost. You are like the fellow who told the

gentleman if he would give him ten cents it would