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up, I’ll just point out that door,’ she said; it was behind the staircase. ‘If you go through it, first on your right is the door to the basement, that’s where the drying room is.’

‘Expecting rain, are we?’ said Rupert.

‘It’s Scotland,’ said Giles.

‘There will be rain and sun,’ smiled Zoe. ‘But regardless, I’d like you all to keep your outdoor kit in the drying room, please. It makes for a tidy house.’

‘Of course,’ said Felicity with a tremble in her voice.

Zoe gazed at her, making sure everything was all right, and Jane for some reason squeezed her friend’s hand.

‘Now,’ Zoe’s focus was back on the door behind the stairs, ‘if you go through there and turn left down the corridor and enter the second door on the right, you’ll find the dining room. I won’t show you now as Mhàiri Bannoch will be laying up.’

‘Mhàiri?’ said Jane, rather acutely.

‘Yes, you don’t know her, do you? That would be extraordinary.’ Zoe tee-heed at the possibility.

‘No, no. I just wanted to get her name straight. It’s Mhàiri not Mary, yes?’

‘Yes, Maaaaarie,’ said Zoe, opening her mouth wide as if encouraging us all to do the same. ‘She and her husband Donald have been here for years, part of the architecture of this place.’

I amused myself wondering if they needed a makeover too.

‘Okey dokey, time to go upstairs.’

I bent down to pick up my suitcase and all of a sudden Shane was hanging by my side, reaching for the laces of his white trainers. Lianne nudged his behind and whispered, ‘You don’t have to do that here.’

I’m in Shane’s camp. I don’t understand why anyone would wear shoes upstairs, especially rural folk what with animal dung, wet weather and all that, but they do, and you know what – either there are very good cleaners in the country or carpets don’t get as dirty as us born-townies would think.

Facing us as we went upstairs was a console table on the landing covered in photographs of Fergus and Zoe. A pre-offspring collection of romantic duos – one from their wedding day, a let’s-lie-down-in-the-heather shot, and a couple of staged, possibly engagement photos. Jane leaned in to have a better look, but it was Felicity who paid the compliment, ‘What a gorgeous couple.’

Zoe’s eyes sparkled and she almost looked pretty. ‘Thank you,’ she smiled. ‘Now, spread yourselves out along this side of the landing.’

It was a square design, open to the stairwell with a gallery around it. A delightful collection of oil sketches crowded the walls and I could just make out the signature E. Landseer Harris. I’m surprised they’re Landseer, as I’ve only ever seen his large majestic Scottish paintings. Those are a bit much for my taste but these little gems are absolutely lovely, great big loose brush strokes on wood panel.

‘So,’ said Zoe with her back against the wall, motioning to her left and right, ‘these are the north-east and north-west wing corridors and directly opposite are the south-east and south-west wing corridors. We have plenty of rooms and half as many bathrooms.’

She pointed under an arch to her left. ‘Fergus, Haggis and I are down there, and, Louis, if you trot down the north-west wing,’ she was now pointing at a dark corridor on her right, ‘you’ll find the first door opens to the Blue Room, yours. Rupert, you’re just beyond Louis, there’s a bathroom between you to share. Donald should have carried your bags up by now, that’s if you all labelled them.’

‘Is there time for a nap?’ said Rupert.

‘Yes, yes, do have a bit of time out before dinner.’ Zoe took a step further along the landing, and flung open a door. ‘Felicity, your en-suite twin is in here, and Jane, here you go, yours is just a bit further down…a small double.’ She flicked a switch and the whole house fell into darkness.

‘Blast,’ she stamped her foot, ‘there must be a fault.’

Giles’s mobile phone lit up.

‘Fergus, angel,’ Zoe hollered over the banister. ‘We have a problem.’

Fergus had a torch in hand at the bottom of the stairs.

‘I realised,’ he mocked. ‘Hang on there and I’ll go to the fuse box.’

‘What are you going to do?’ said Jane, rather boldly I thought.

‘Anyone got a candle?’ called out Rupert.

‘Don’t worry, the lights will be back on in a sec,’ reassured Zoe.

‘OoooOOOooo,’ mimicked Shane, but before any of us had time to feel frightened the lights were on again.

‘Voila,’ rejoiced Zoe.

‘Darling?’ Fergus was coming up the stairs.

‘Yes?’

‘The Rose room’s wiring is faulty. A spark came out the box when I flicked the switch.’

Zoe marched straight into what was going to be Jane’s room.

‘No, my love,’ said Fergus. ‘The electrics are faulty, the lights in there won’t work. I’ve turned them off at the main switch.’

Zoe came back out with Jane’s suitcase in her hand. ‘I am terribly sorry about this.’

‘You can share with me?’ offered Felicity, hovering in her doorway.

Fergus’s and Zoe’s eyebrows rose, both hoping Jane would say ‘yes please’.

‘Can’t you fix it?’ said Jane, staring at Fergus.

‘I’ll try and call our electrician tomorrow, but I’m afraid we won’t be able to sort it out tonight.’ He took charge of the suitcase in Zoe’s hand.

‘My room’s lovely,’ said Felicity. ‘There are two large single beds.’

Jane forced a smile and in she went.

‘Right,’ Zoe continued, ‘everyone else, follow me.’

Tapping a relatively new door under the arch of the south-east wing, she explained, ‘This is locked, it isn’t used.’ Then, continuing on around the square she went under an arch opposite and flicked a switch. Sporadic energy-saving light bulbs began to glow and as we waited for them to brighten she informed us, ‘This is what we call the children’s corridor.’

It was glum to say the least and smelt exactly how you’d imagine a cold old house’s childless children’s corridor would. The lights came up to speed and Zoe’s kilt swung from her hips as she trotted down the well-worn drugget carpet. ‘There are two bathrooms to share. I suggest girls take

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