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the counter asone big extra seating space. I stalled then, swinging my feet, kicking thecabinet.

“Yes?” He leaned against the oppositecounter. Two counters connected to form an L. At the base of the L was thesink. Gil propped himself on the short part of the L and waited, big blue eyesshiny with an almost preternatural light. One moment they were sky blue, thenext they were gray like a summer squall.

“About last night,” I said.

“It was fun.”

I frowned, shook my head. “Not that.”

“Not the fire and the beer and thefish and the singing?” he asked, sipping coffee. Tan, weathered face asunreadable as a foreign language.

“No. After we went to bed. Carl and I - I’m sorry if we were loud. At one point is sounded likewell, I’m sorry if you - you know, saw.”

“I came up,” he said quickly. “To askabout sheets and stuff, but I really didn’t see anything and I’m sorry if Istartled you. I really didn’t see anything,” he repeated. But he said it a bittoo fast and wouldn’t look at me. “I didn’t want to embarrass you. Or me,” hesaid.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” I kept sayingover and over and I didn’t know why.

Gil put his hand on my leg and Istopped swinging it suddenly. The absence of that motion was like coming out ofa noisy room to a deafening silence. We both looked down at his big, tan handon my knee, over my white robe. My mouth when dry and he flexed his fingersagainst my skin for just an instant before pulling his hand back.

Irrationally, I wanted to grab hishand and put it back. The heat that blazed up my leg was staggering and bestignored. I swallowed hard and he said, “Don’t be sorry. That’s silly. You’reall grown up now, Jenny. And I should have knocked.”

“Does it change how you think of me?”I blurted. I didn’t even know I was going to ask him that until it flew out ofmy mouth like some small winged thing. Part of me wanted to snatch it back inand swallow it down. Part of me wanted an answer.

“Yes. It does. But not in a bad way,”he said in a rush. “It just makes me realize that you’ve grown up. You’re awoman now. And you’re beautiful, kid.” He kissed the tip of my nose and walkedout the door, tossing a “I’m gong to go take a run” over his shoulder.

I watched his broad back recede anddrank my coffee. The clock ticked off a half an hour before I hopped down fromthe counter to go take a shower.

* * * *

Carl snaked a hand into my robe and Ijumped. “Jesus Christ, I didn’t even see you there!” My heart clogged my throatand my body coiled tight when he yanked me in for a rough kiss. “You’re dirty,”I said, but the words were soft and stifled by his kiss.

“That guy Erick hired me on the spot.They were digging some holes today and I guess I looked like a real good holedigger,” he said, his lips pressed over my pulse. Carl pushed his tan nicked uphands up under my white robe and grabbed my ass. I let him.

“You do look like a real good holedigger,” I laughed, finding an immense amount of humor in such a small, juvenilejoke.

“I’d like to dig this hole. Ya dig?”he asked, pushing a finger along the wet ripple of my outer lips to find thealready pulsing nub of my clit.

I squirmed and he swallowed the smallnoise I made by kissing me wetly again. “Don’t worry, Jen. My fingers areclean,” he said. Carl pushed his knee between my legs and nudged me so I openedmy thighs for him. He slipped two fingers deep inside of me and my body bunchedup tight and eager around him. “Where’s Gil?”

“I don’t know,” I said a bit too sharply.My mind quickly reversed to the warm weight of Gil’s hand on my thigh and whenCarl flexed his fingers in my pussy I whimpered a little. “I’m not my father’skeeper,” I said with too much attitude for such a simple question.

“Sorrr-eeee,” Carl said. He bit myshoulder kind of hard and my nipples peaked and tingled under the soft cottonrobe. “Someone is tense. Why so tense, girly?”

I shook my head, feeling perversely onthe verge of tears. Why would I cry over such a simple question. “I’m fine. Justa bit claustrophobic, I guess. Small town suffocation and all that jazz.”

Carl pulled back and frowned. Hisliquid green eyes shining in the late morning light. His eyes were gorgeous,like some giant feline always watching for his next kill, his next chance topounce. “I don’t like it when you’re tense, Jen. Let’s fix that, okay?”

“Mmm-kay,” I managed when he sank tohis knees, parting my robe like long white curtains. I let him push his facebetween my legs, his willing tongue lapping at my clit, my outer lips, pushingrigidly into my wet slit. I rested my ass on the bookshelf that rimmed thebanister of my floor. My ass pushed to books from childhood, books from teenyears, big books of facts and very little fiction that belonged to my motherMarian. I refused to call her mom right now, I realized. I spread my legs alittle more and mashed my bottom to all the memories that filled the shelves.

“That’s it. Give it to me. Give it tome, girly. I can feel it,” Carl said and laughed, his lips pressed to my pussylips. The tingly vibration of his amusement wound up through my belly and mademe smile.

“I will, I will,” I promised. Hesucked my clit into his mouth and forced two big fingers deep into my cunt. Hedipped the tips in first, smearing my juices around my outside before plungingback inside.

“If you give it to me, I’ll fuck you.I’ll fuck you right here on the floor, with your fingers on the spines of allthose fancy books for smart little girls. I’ll fuck you while that big blue andwhite teddy bear watches. I’ll fuck you until you weep,” Carl said, his lipskissing my inner thigh so I squirmed

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