Mr. H.O.A. by Carina Taylor (readera ebook reader .TXT) 📗

"I'm not opening my eyes yet. Someone, please call Nate and let him know I've gone blind. I might not be able to read another one of his texts."

I chuckled, pushed her hand down, and pried her fingers from her eyes. "I think they're done kissing."

Nola looked at me, her face unnaturally pale as she whispered, "Forever traumatized."

A crinkling sound caught my attention. Her mother, who looked like Nola in twenty years, stood there holding several familiar paper bags.

"Why is she holding four bags of Hawaiian food?" I whispered to Nola.

"That was my last resort if you didn't forgive me."

"You should have led with the Hawaiian food. It would have been faster." I yelped when she pinched my side.

"Dad, Mom," Nola said. "We're getting married."

This time it was her parents who turned unnaturally white.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

Homeowners Association Rule #77:

Backyard weddings are only allowed at the approval of the current HOA president.

I stood on the patio in the shade.

"I'm going to cry."

"Don't you dare," Ian whispered to Tori where they stood next to me.

The entire neighborhood was here for our "vow renewal." Ian and Tori stood in as our attendants. They were the only ones who knew the truth. About everything.

Turns out Nola wasn't that good about keeping secrets, and she'd spilled the story to Tori on one of their book club nights when she’d stayed late and talked with her.

Tori and Ian ended up making great wedding attendants thanks to Nola's over sharing.

Today was the day. It was the time when our fake marriage was going to be real.

Sebastian refused to let me step down from being the HOA president. He told me it would be a dereliction of duties and that I should stay in the neighborhood until we were able to buy our own house. Well, I already had a house lined up, because now that Sebastian would actually be my father-in-law, I especially didn't want to be living in his house. Nola and I would be married for real. This time there would be no secrets. This time there would be no pillow between us on the bed.

"I'm crying," Tori whispered loudly as Nola rounded the corner of the house on her father's arm.

"Stop," Ian's tortured whisper answered her. "You're going to make me cry too."

"But they're getting married in their yard—just like we did."

I chewed the inside of my cheek as I waited for Nola to come closer. To step farther from where the blinding sun. It was making it impossible to see her. I could only make out her silhouette.

She'd refused to let me see the dress she'd picked out. When I tried to tell her it was only a 'vow renewal', she gave me the silent treatment for an entire hour. Apparently my joke was in poor taste. I didn't blame her. I'd been counting down the days to this moment. Three weeks.

I'd been staying at Darla's for three weeks. That was where I'd ran to when I fled the house. Darla welcomed me with opened arms and a big lunch.

Darla sat in the front row next to my own parents. Darla wept openly. My mom was beaming and even my dad looked a little tearful.

Then Nola moved out of the sun. Moving to where I could see her. She wore a floor length cream dress. Only one shoulder strap. I'm sure she had a specific name for the style, but I didn't know what it was. All I knew was that I was the luckiest guy on earth. She was beaming at me, and I had to fight the urge to run down our small makeshift aisle.

Sebastian led her to stand in front of me. He leaned over and kissed her temple, then went to sit next to her mother.

I stepped toward Nola, grasping her hands in mine.

"Are you ready for this, Mr. Bartholomew Fox?" she asked with a lopsided smile.

"Never more ready for anything in my entire life."

EPILOGUE

A note from the Homeowners Association’s former president:

Bartholomew Fox.

I have taken the liberty of eradicating 157 irrelevant HOA rules.

And I resign.

"Your underwear is still in the living room!" Bane yelled from the kitchen. I hurried and pulled on a pair of jeans and ran to the living room, gathering up all my underwear. "Your parents will be here any minute for brunch."

"I know, I know," I grumbled.

"Not that I mind the view, but I think your dad has handled all the embarrassment he can take."

I dashed down the hall and tossed the underwear on our bed.

"You know I love embarrassing him," I called. I spun around and narrowly avoided colliding with Bane's solid chest. He held the coffee cup out to the side.

"Close one." He grinned and passed the steaming mug to me.

"You know, your attractiveness grows every time you make me coffee."

He raised his eyebrows. "I should be smokin' hot by now. I've made you coffee at least a hundred times now."

"I know." I smiled and leaned up on my tiptoes to press a kiss on my husband's lips. "That's why I love you."

He swiped at a fake tear. "You know, I'm beginning to feel a little used by you."

"What can I do to make it better?"

Bane smirked, grabbed the coffee cup from my hand and set it down on the dresser beside us.

His hand landed on my hip, tugging me tight against him. "I can think of a few things."

He dipped his head and kissed the side of my neck below my ear. I sighed and melted against him. His hand slid up my back to grasp my neck, the other reaching down to my hip.

"Hello!" A voice called loudly.

Bane groaned and pulled back. "Couldn't we move our Saturday brunches with your parents to later than nine? 9 a.m. is not brunch. It’s breakfast."

"My poor Bane." I patted his cheek. "Mr. HOA just can't catch a break."

"You're right about that. Carol texted me already this morning. She wants to know when we're going to add a cat park to the community space."

"Don’t