A Mother Forever by Elaine Everest (good novels to read txt) 📗

Eddie took a deep breath. ‘I’ve not lived a blameless life, not by far. When we first married, I dreamt that I could give you your own home, and we wouldn’t need to keep moving from place to place; but we did. Yes, part of it was because I enjoyed a drink and I gambled. God, I threw money away left, right and centre but never towards you and George, and I apologize for that. So, when you fell for the baby you eventually lost . . .’

‘Sarah. Her name was Sarah,’ Ruby interrupted.

‘When you were carrying Sarah, and Cedric Mulligan rented us the house, not only did I want to do good by you, I also wanted to turn over a new leaf. Then Cedric asked me to do another job for him. It was dangerous.’

‘Was it illegal?’ Ruby’s eyes flashed.

‘Not for me – not in the eyes of the law. But if it had gone wrong, Cedric would never have forgiven me. He could be a vengeful man, and he knew where you and my child lived. Remember how I wanted to move us away? I tried to see if it could be done. I looked for another home as decent as number thirteen, but we couldn’t afford the few I saw in other towns. In the end it was best for me to disappear, and the best way was to make it look like I was a bad’n. If I’d had the guts, I would have faked my own death, but I didn’t want you to grieve for me, and I knew you would. I even left the coalyard under a shadow, hoping that when I disappeared it wouldn’t make you look bad.’

‘What about Mum’s money?’ she asked, trying to piece together what he was saying.

‘I took it thinking if people felt sorry for you then you could keep your head held high. I was still doing odd jobs for Cedric, trying to show him I was loyal to him until I had the money to get you and George away from his grip. I had to appear loyal even though I knew he’d arranged for a man to be roughed over just because he owed money he couldn’t pay back.’

Ruby felt faint. ‘You mean you had a hand in hurting someone?’

‘No, I simply went along to help the person who was collecting the debt. Ruby, I was small fry. I might have collected money and been a bit heavy with my fists on occasion when working for Cedric. I didn’t know the bloke would be killed, but this debt was for hundreds of pounds – so different to what I’d been involved with before. Cedric had another chap collect the dosh. I was just there to keep lookout, and to shout if the coppers appeared. It all went wrong and meant that Cedric had a hold on me. He could have put the blame on me, paid witnesses to say it was me who killed the man.’

‘Oh, Eddie,’ she said, not realizing she’d reached out and gripped his hand. ‘Why couldn’t you tell me? I’d have understood, and I could have helped you.’

‘I didn’t feel I could confide in you, not with your mother on my back all the time. She was always going on about supporting the family and doing better for you. I knew you loved that house, so if I’d told you what had happened, you’d have insisted on leaving. And I couldn’t tear you away from the home you’d always dreamt of. You deserve that at least,’ he said, stroking her hand. ‘It was better I left and tried to sort out the mess before coming back to you. Then I could explain, and if you’d forgiven me perhaps there would have been a future for us.’

Ruby was trying hard to understand all Eddie had to say. ‘What about the money you left for us? Did it come from that man?’

‘No, I wouldn’t do that to you. That money was honestly earned, and I put away as much as I could. I was determined not to let you know where I was and I hoped you would recognize my handwriting on the envelopes. That was the only hint I was prepared to give you. If you’d not caught me that night four years back, then things would’ve changed for the better,’ he said, a despondent look crossing his face.

‘But what could be better then you showing your love for me, and Pat being the outcome of our love? I don’t understand, Eddie.’

‘I knew that night that Cedric had died – I should say, was killed. His hold on me was over at that stage. I finally had hope in my heart, and when I dropped an envelope through the letter box, I knew that next time I returned to Alexandra Road it would be as a man free of Cedric’s hold. I had information on Cedric and his business that I’d collected and I took it to the police the next day. I told them everything about the man and as I’ve never been guilty of anything criminal, they were happy to listen to me. I’d kept careful records on his illegal betting business along with robberies and fraud. It took some months before those who had worked with Cedric were rounded up and charged. During that time, I moved back to Erith but found a job and lodgings in Northend, knowing that as soon as it was safe to do so I would come back to you. I had to make sure I’d not be charged and bring trouble to your door.’

‘Then why didn’t you?’ Ruby demanded. She hated to think of what Eddie must have gone through.

‘I did. I got as far as the end of the road. It was the day of the coronation – a happy day, full of joy for the future with a new king for our country, and for me I hoped