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brothers, nieces, and nephews in her job as a school psychologist, but for the most part the Dooziers kept to themselves.

So why on earth was Earl at the bowling alley signed up to play Team Trivia? The only reason she could think of was that he had once told her he'd learned everything he knew from the two wise men, Jack Daniel's and Jose 200 Denise Swanson Cuervo; and for tonight's game Bunny had persuaded the owner of the Brown Bag Liquor Store to donate five gift certificates. Maybe he wanted the prize to further his education.

The rest of the participants were chosen, and when the game began, Skye slipped away to check on how things were going in the rest of the bowling alley.

She hurried through her checklist, wanting to be back in time to see Earl play when it was his team's turn. The lanes were doing fine, and the cook appeared to have things under control in the kitchen, but Frannie Ryan, the grill's waitress, was having a rough time.

The teenagers who had been kicked out of the bar had settled at the counter, and they were obviously intent on humiliating Frannie.

Skye narrowed her eyes. Frannie was one of the coedi- tors of the high school newspaper that Skye supervised, and she had been through a lot with Skye, even once helping to save her life. The mean teens had picked the wrong person, time, and place to attack.

As Skye strode toward them she heard the leader of the pack, a girl named Blair, say to Frannie, ``So, do you get all the free food you can eat? Is that why you're as big as an elephant?''

Frannie was solidly built and would never be a size two or even a twelve, a trait that caused her much heartache.

Skye felt a flare of anger. She didn't put up with bullying of any kind, and being on the curvy side herself, she espe- cially didn't allow fat bashing. She paused for a second to get control of her temper, and while she was calming her- self down, Ruby swooped down on the group.

The older woman put her hands on the back of Blair's stool and leaned over her shoulder. ``You know, honey, I've been facing down underfed, ignorant ego busters like you my whole life, and they've never won.''

One of the others at the counter jeered, ``Maybe if you'd lose some weight, you wouldn't have to keep 'facing peo- ple down.' ''

Ruby moved over to the boy who was speaking, bent down, and spoke into his ear. ``Sweetheart, I've had five husbands, one of them a duke, made and lost millions of dollars, and traveled around the world. Do you really think DEAD BLONDES TELL NO TALES 201 your itty-bitty, no-account opinion means anything to me?'' Ruby straightened and flicked him on the arm with her thumb and index finger. ``Kids like you may be big shots during your teenage years, but in the real world you gener- ally end up digging ditches or working for someone you looked down your nose at in high school.''

The teens exchanged uneasy glances. They weren't used to people talking back and making them feel bad about themselves.

Although Skye hated to interrupt Ruby when the older woman was on a roll, she couldn't in good conscience let her attack students from her high school, even obnoxious ones. But she wouldn't let them get away scot-free either. She preferred to use the behavior management technique of consequences, so she said, ``Kids, I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave the bowling alley. We have a no-bullying policy here, and you've broken the rules.''

Blair twitched her shoulders. ``Whatever.'' Then she turned to the others and said loudly, ``Let's get out of here before we start to look like these three--Fatty, Fatter, and Fattest.''

There was some grumbling, but the six teens grudgingly got to their feet and shuffled away. As they rounded the corner Blair's voice floated back toward where Skye, Fran- nie, and Ruby stood: ``We should have known better than to hang out anywhere Fat Frannie was. People might think we're her friends. Wouldn't that be mortifying?''

Blair's words had hit their mark. Frannie burst into tears and fled into the grill's stockroom. Skye and Ruby were quick to follow. They found the teen sitting on the floor with her back against the wall.

Skye sat next to her and said conversationally, ``You know, this is what those girls wanted--your crying over what they said makes them the winners.''

Frannie shrugged, drew up her knees, and buried her face in them.

Skye opened her mouth, then closed it without speaking. It was tempting to launch into a speech on coping with bullies, but she knew the real art of counseling was not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Ruby, on the other hand, felt no such restriction. She 202 Denise Swanson pulled an old chrome chair in front of where Frannie and Skye sat, eased onto the cracked vinyl seat, and crossed her legs. ``I'm pretty sure that girl was a skinny, evil witch, but we'd better make sure.''

Frannie sniffed, but continued to stare at the floor. ``What do you mean, make sure?''

``We need to run her through the test to be positive,'' Ruby said, maintaining a serious expression but winking at Skye, who shot her a puzzled look.

Frannie straightened and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. ``What's the test?''

``There are five questions, and you have to answer yes to all of them to classify someone as a skinny, evil witch.'' Ruby held up one finger. ``First, would that person split a salad with four friends and call it a meal?''

Frannie nodded. ``I've seen Blair do that in the cafeteria with the other 'in'

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