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I won’t be able to cope without him.

Even though I have told him that my memory is shot and that I can barely remember our wedding day, never mind the last few weeks, he still seems keen to test me at every opportunity to see if my memory is returning. I often overheard him speaking to my doctor about the likelihood of me regaining my full cognitive functions, and he asked the man several times for a precise probability of me ever getting my full memory back surrounding the incident in the cottage. The doctor just kept telling him to be patient and take every day as it comes, but Adam was always insistent on knowing what the exact odds were for me remembering things.

He thinks having a wife that needs his constant help will be a problem. But he has another problem, and it’s a big one.

The problem is that I remember everything.

I recall with perfect clarity how he got me to that cottage in the first place with lies about a hit and run accident and going on the run. I remember that he kept me there for several days with more lies about broken TV’s, sim cards and trips into the village. And I remember how he and his partner in crime plotted to kill Bradley and I in that bedroom, leaving us to die amongst the toxic fumes so that he could have his revenge and move on with his life with a new partner.

I remember it all. But I have kept it to myself. Nobody knows that I have a better memory than I am letting on. Not the doctors. Not the nurses.

And certainly not the man who tried to kill me and my baby.

I could have made it obvious that I did remember. I could have told Adam that I knew, and I could have spoken to the police and made them arrest him and Gemma on suspicion of several crimes, including the murder of an innocent man, and the attempted murder of an innocent mother and child. But I haven’t because I remember what Gemma said when Bradley and I were tied up in that cottage and she was standing in front of us with a smug look on her face. She said that they had planned everything and they were going to get away with it because there was no evidence of what they had done.

I don’t know if they were as clever as they think they were in leaving no trace of their presence in that cottage behind, but I have to assume they have been. That means I have to try and be as clever as them. If I speak to the police and tell them what really happened then they will investigate and they might find something, but they might not. Then where will I be? I can’t risk the pair of them getting away with what they did, and I certainly can’t risk them trying to finish the job if they think I am a threat to them. Therefore, I am pretending that I am no threat. I am playing dumb. I am acting as if the stories are true. I was in that cottage because I was having an affair with Bradley and we snuck away from our partners for a little time together before the baby was born. We both fell asleep in the bedroom and were overcome by the fumes from the hazardous fireplace that we had left running downstairs. And I am lucky to be alive and be supported by my husband, who has vowed to stick with me despite my infidelities and lies.

I’m considered a lucky woman, at least by other people’s standards. But I’m not lucky. I won’t consider myself lucky until I have found a way of making Adam and Gemma pay for what they did at that cottage.

I just need to stay strong. I just need to be clever.

I just need to keep pretending I have forgotten until I have the evidence that I need to send them to prison forever.

53

ADAM

I’m pacing around the kitchen while Laura rests upstairs. I haven’t been able to relax since she woke up, but it’s got even worse since she came home. Now I feel constantly on edge. I feel like she could remember what happened at any second, especially now she is in more familiar surroundings, and the thought of that is terrifying.

The carbon monoxide didn’t kill her, but it has affected her memory amongst other things, and that is a bonus at least, but I don’t feel like I will ever be able to truly relax until she is gone. It’s one thing for Samuel to have survived, but at least he isn’t going to be able to talk to the police. Laura could get her memory back any day now and then what is stopping her from telling anybody who will listen that I tried to kill her?

Gemma told me this was a good plan. She said we would get away with murder. But she was wrong. While Bradley might be gone, my wife still remains, and now I am her carer, keeping her fed and watered and having to go up and down the stairs every ten minutes to make sure she is okay. By now, I would have expected to have buried my wife, taken time off work to grieve and then been telling family and friends that things were tough, but that I was feeling optimistic about the future. Instead, I am in a place that’s even worse than the one I was in before all of this started.

I’m still married to a woman who betrayed me, only now I could end up going to prison too.

I need to see Gemma. She will have a plan. She better have one. This whole thing was her idea in the first place.

She started it so she can help me finish it.

I take out my mobile and

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