Level Zero by Dan McDowell (debian ebook reader .txt) 📗

as they can at the funeral home, and we’ll wish him well. You’re welcome to come with me. Maybe it’s a little morbid, but at the end of the day, we weren’t on the best of terms, so I don’t care.”

“I heard they’re pinning the kidnappings on him postmortem since they found no evidence of Creeper Joe.”

“That’s the way it goes,” she remarked.

“And you’re okay being associated with that? Are the paparazzo’s after you yet?”

“Not yet. We made a pact,” she said. “Let’s let bygones be bygones. You mind if I smoke? I haven’t had a good puff in ages.”

“Go right ahead. Hey, there’s a new cassette I picked up just before… well… you know. Do you mind?” Todd asked.

“I love AC/DC. Go for it.”

Todd inserted the cassette, and they cruised toward Bridgewater with the stereo blaring and the windows down.

“This is great,” she said. “Hey, what’s going on? Did you see that?”

“See what? A guy looked like he was sprinting toward that port-a-john over there. Maybe we should check in and make sure he’s okay.”

“I’ve already been a hero once this week. I don’t know that I’m up for it again.”

“Oh… just be a good Samaritan. It’ll score you points with me later,” she smiled, massaging him on the shoulder.

“That might just be worth it. Let me pull over.” Todd parked the F-150 next to the street-level lavatory. “Wow, this is pretty fancy. I hadn’t ever stopped this close to one,” Todd said.

“Don’t take too long. We don’t want to miss our reservation. I just want to make sure he’s alright…”

Todd climbed out of the truck.

Why do you have to be so attentive? Do I want you bossing me around the rest of my life? It would probably be good for me.

He approached the stall and tapped on the door. “Hey there. We saw you running. I just wanted to make sure you were okay in there.”

“I guess so. I pissed off a panhandler down the street. He chased me down the block with a case of Flitz until we got over here — kept going on and on about being a mascot for that crap. The guy split like rubber when we got close to Creepy Nights,” the voice said.

“Well… why are you still hiding then?”

“He told me something I didn’t want to hear.”

“Which was? You sound awfully familiar.”

“He said I could be their damned mascot if I wanted to.”

That’s good ‘ol Harv, alright.

Todd laughed. “I got it. And that prompted you to hide in a port-a-john…? Ramblin’ Ron? Is that you in there? You of all people? I heard the episode where you trashed council, man. I’m thoroughly disappointed in you. I’m going to have to give an anonymous tip to the station.”

“Shut up.”

“Alright,” Todd said, chuckling to himself a moment. “I’ll leave you alone…”

He walked back toward the truck and opened the door.

“What was that about?” Katrina asked.

Todd smiled. “Oh. Nothing at all. Just another drunk roaming the streets. Let’s get over to Bridgewater.”

.     .     .     .     .

TODD and Katrina concluded their evening meal as they held hands atop the white terry cloth table cover.

“Katrina, what do you think? How was everything?”

“It’s been great. Wonderful company. Great ambiance. An attentive server. All the makings for a spectacular evening. The snapperfish was even better than I remembered. How was your steak? I’ve never understood how you men can eat them so bloody and rare like that. Chris liked his the same way.”

“What can I say? We have good taste,” Todd said.

“So what’s next?” Katrina asked. “Back to Riverton Financial?”

“Yeah, I reckon. Suspect they’ll let Creensteen back over there, too. Lucky me…”

“Was he that bad?”

“No. Just annoying. If Creeper Joe had taken him out, that would have been okay with me.”

Katrina glared at Todd. “You’re not serious. Are you?”

Todd smirked. “Of course not… Just don’t expect me to give him any World’s Greatest Boss coffee mugs. What about you?”

“I know it might be a little forward, but I was going to ask you if you wanted to move in with me? Mother’s place is too much for me all by myself.”

“A go-getter,” Todd remarked. “I like that in a woman. We’ve got nothing to lose. My lease is up next month.”

Todd paid the bill and stood up. “Well, why don’t we just go back to your place then? I make a killer caffeinated nightcap.”

“That sounds great. I love a good coffee.”

They headed home and finished the new cassette. Several minutes later, Todd pulled into the garage of the Reinhold estate. A parked Mercedes stood out amidst a slew of horror movie memorabilia and props.

“That’s not the mask from Freaky Fred, is it…? Oh, wow… You weren’t lying, were you? This is the famous Mercedes?”

“Oh… that… yeah. That’s it.”

“Looks like they got the deer’s blood out of the upholstery just fine,” he said. “I’m sure that cost a fortune.”

“It did. Let’s go inside. I didn’t dress up this nice to talk about my dead mother’s car upholstery…”

CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE

TODD ADAMS took a swill of his coffee as he and Katrina prepped to board the plane early the next morning.

Looking a little nervous today, aren’t you?

“Are you sure you want to fly today?” he asked. “I’ve got the rental for the next three days if you’d prefer to wait.”

“Of course I do,” Katrina said. “I’ve never been on a private plane before. They terrified mother. Todd, I…”

“I, what?”

“I’ve been trying to wrap my head around it all. If there were fifty-four of us and Joe only had fifty-three, who did he miss?”

Who did he miss? We can only wonder.

“Hmm…” Todd mumbled.

Pondering the question, Todd lifted the plane off the ground as they soared over Riverton overlooking the Oak Hollow District and Creepy Nights.

“No more talking about the fifty-four business,” Todd said. “We made a pact, remember?”

“You’re right. Fine,” she said. “Hey! Is that Ebony sticking her head out the window at Creepy Nights? I guess she made herself right back at home just like she said