Launch on Need by Daniel Guiteras (small books to read txt) 📗

you had built up, the wall you thought you’d constructed to insulate yourself from being hurt by it any further, turns out to be thinner than you imagined.”

Brown lowered his menu and studied Stangley again. “I’m sure I wouldn’t shock you if I told you I don’t follow all that psychobabble crap. All I know is that it takes time, mostly. You can see a therapist or whatever to ‘talk through it,’ ” Brown said, motioning tiny quote marks with his fingers, “but the common denominator among those who are able to go on after a loved one dies is time.” Brown picked up his menu again. “Hey, what’s good here?” he asked, signaling he was through with the topic.

“The pastas are good,” Stangley replied easily, grateful that Brown had changed the subject.

“I think I’m leaning toward the pizzas.” Brown looked around. “You think the waiter will ever be back? You probably scared the shit out of him. I doubt he’s coming back.”

Stangley laughed and felt himself relax. “So how are things going on your end? You guys ready to go flyin’?”

“Well, things do seem to be going well, everything considered,” Brown said, watching Stangley pour first a pool of olive oil then a pool of vinegar onto a bright white saucer. “We’ve been watching the weather closely. You know we can hustle to get Atlantis ready to fly, but if the weather turns to crap, we’re screwed. So far, though, it looks like we’ll be in good shape, I mean nothing bad is forecasted. It looks like we won’t have to bring the stack back into the VAB for a hailstorm or heavy winds before the first launch window opens.”

“So what’s your gut on this?” Stangley asked, wiping a piece of bread in a smooth vinegar-then-olive-oil swipe. “Off the record, do you think NASA will get a launch in nine days?”

Brown’s stomach ached at the site of the olive oil. He fingered the outside of his left pants pocket, felt the round Tums tablets and the longer, thinner, missile-shaped Norco tablets. Mild relief came knowing they were at the ready. “I’m not superstitious, but I must admit I fear being too optimistic—this mission scares the hell out of me. I can’t decide if I think the rescue crew is brave or just plain crazy. You’ve met plenty of astronauts over the years, you know what I mean, you know what they’re like.”

Flaminia’s house merlot found Stangley and wrapped him in a warm melancholy blanket. The bread tasted so good, his head felt light and free, and he sure missed Claire. He imagined her beside him, drew in a deep breath and was certain he could smell her perfume. Wasn’t that her sitting beside him? Smiling. She was the happiest person he’d ever known.

Stangley nodded in agreement. Astronauts are a different breed, he thought. “Okay, so what if they can’t get a launch off? What then? The crew of Columbia is going to go for it, right?”

Brown stared back at Stangley, then shrugged.

“Well, they’re not going to stay up there until they suffocate, they will go for it, right?”

Brown’s eyes were pensive. “Your guess is as good as mine.”

“Won’t NASA have to clear a path for Columbia? I mean traveling west, it’s a long way from the California coast to the Kennedy Space Center. If Columbia flies over populated areas… If by some miracle it makes it back, great. But what if it’s coming apart as it flies overhead, dropping God knows what along the way?” Stangley paused for a second, thinking. “I guess if they knew it was going to come apart, they’d shoot for Edwards instead of Kennedy. Is that what you were going to say?”

Brown simply sat in silence, not knowing what to say. He had no idea what contingencies NASA might be planning.

“Have you heard the fuss from elementary school teachers?”

“No,” Brown said, then turned to see if he could spot the waiter. “What are they upset about?”

“Well, the teachers are wondering how to handle their students in the event that Atlantis isn’t launched.”

Brown frowned like he didn’t get it.

“They’ve spent twenty-plus days teaching their students all about the shuttle, watched some of the specials we did on shuttle processing. They’ve gotten to know the astronauts of both crews.

Brown’s expression softened.

“If the shuttle doesn’t launch, the kids will immediately understand the implications,” Stangley said.

“I get it,” Brown said, looking again for the waiter. “Their generation will produce an unusually small group of astronauts.”

Stangley changed the subject. “So, will you go to Johnson after the launch, or will you stay here in Florida to watch Atlantis land?”

“That’s a very interesting question, my friend. Well, after the launch we’ll have our reviews to do, but once we clear the films, I may go to Houston and hang around Mission Control, watch the landing from there. It’ll be a great place to be on landing day, and much less of a circus than at Kennedy. Especially since the president is expected to be there.”

“Will you be going back to Houston to say good-bye?”

Brown recoiled slightly, as if his mind had been read. Then he got up suddenly. “I’m going to go find the waiter.”

Part III

The Endeavor

Chapter 46

Cape Canaveral, Florida

Columbia Flight Day 25

Sunday Feb. 9, 2003

A COASTAL BREEZE infused with a hint of brine drifted inland over the Cape, traveling over the pristine Atlantic coastline and the storied NASA beach house, past the estuaries and the shuttle launch facilities, and finally out to the thousands of spectators who hungered to participate in American history.

The air itself seemed alive, buzzing with energy like a power line smothered in fog.

Permeating the crowd was an unmistakable sense of optimism, something many