Her Secret, His Child: A Little Secret by Tara Quinn (romance book recommendations TXT) 📗

She didn't even sound as though the words hurt her. ' 'I understand."

HER SECRET, HIS CHILD

The thing that tore at him most was that she really believed she did.

"You're wrong, Jamie," he said, taking hold of her hand, caressing her fingers. "About so many things."

"I know, Kyle." She nodded. "I always have been. I think I was born that way, you know—with something wrong inside me." She could have been discussing the weather. She was completely and totally resigned. As though today's honorable act had drained all the life out of her, had sent the real Jamie, the true Jamie, far away.

Kyle hoped to God he wasn't too late to bring her back.

"Will you let me speak, please? Without putting words in my mouth?" He couldn't have any coherent thoughts, let alone express them, if she kept interrupting him. And he'd never needed coherent thoughts more than at this moment.

Obviously surprised at his frustrated tone, she nodded without another word.

"In the first place, the only thing I meant you were wrong about was how I feel about you—about making love with you. And mark my words—" he brought her hand up to his lips "—when we sleep together again, which we'll do very soon I hope, we won't be having sex. We'll be making love."

He thought he saw a spark of light in her eyes, but it was gone so fast he couldn't be sure.

"That's why I stopped you, honey. I couldn't let you compromise your principles. You aren't ready to make love yet. But when you are, we will."

She was staring at him, not even blinking. He

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took that as a good sign. "I love you, Jamie. More than life itself. Without you, my life means nothing."

"I lost my virginity when I was nineteen, to a man old enough to be my grandfather," she said baldly, apparently expecting to shock him.

"After a full year of being friends with him first, and believing that he loved you and was going to marry you."

"How do you…" She was frowning at him.

"Karen." They both said it at the same time, though Jamie's rendition of her friend's name wasn't very complimentary.

"She told you everything." Her eyes were dead. He couldn't even determine if she was still looking at him or just through him.

"Enough," Kyle said, so filled with love for her he wished he could wrap her up in it. "The rest of the details are yours to give if and when you want to."

She pulled her hand away. "That's why you're here."

"I'm here to ask you to marry me." He had no idea if the time was right, knew only that he had to be honest. "That's why Karen gave me the information she did."

"You actually told her you were going to ask me to marry you?"

She didn't sound excited about that—didn't even sound as if she believed him.

"It's the truth." He took her hand again. "I was going to wait until Mother's Day, and since you left

HER SECRET, HIS CHILD

kind of suddenly and I didn't have any warning, the ring's at home in my silverware drawer."

That seemed to get through to her. He was certain he saw a spark in her eyes.

"Your silverware drawer?"

"It's the only organized drawer in my house."

She almost grinned, but sobered very quickly.

"I know how you feel about your mother, Kyle, and understand that in your heart you can't help resenting me for bringing you that kind of shame. Trust me, if I don't go, it'll only get worse."

"I was wrong about my mother." He hadn't even admitted it to himself until that moment. "I've been taking a good long look at things these past few months, at her life, her choices."

Jamie was stiff beside him, barely breathing.

"I can't condone what she did or how she did it, but I can see that her intentions were good. She was providing a roof over my head, money for clothes, for food."

"Which she could have done mopping floors."

"That's true," he acknowledged. "But there's something else I'd never considered before."

Her raised brows questioned him.

"I'm grateful to her for having me when clearly she didn't have to. And—" this next part was difficult, more difficult than he could ever have imagined "—I'm grateful to her for loving me. That was one thing I never had to doubt."

And that love had probably made him the man he was. It was the basis of his self-respect, his belief in himself—his mother's unconditional love.

It was a basis Jamie had never had.

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"I only wish I could tell her so."

Jamie smiled at him, a warm compassionate smile, giving him hope. "I'm sure she knows," she said softly.

"Maybe."

They sat silently for a couple of minutes, her flight, Kyle's proposal, hanging between them. Jamie shifted, pulled her hand from his again, and when he glanced up at her, Kyle's dread returned. The moment of warmth was gone.

"There's no way you can expect fidelity from a woman like me," she blurted almost bitterly.

Kyle sighed. "I've been with you for more than four months, Jamie. I've felt the lust in your kisses, the heat in your hands as they move against my body. And despite that, I've yet to get inside your pants. So I hardly think fidelity is going to be a problem."

She frowned, crossing her arms over her breasts. "That's just because of who you are."

"No, honey, it's because of who you are." He was completely certain of that. "You may have been forced to compromise yourself when you were younger, but you're not forced to do anything anymore. Which leaves you free to be the woman you are inside. The woman you've been all along."

"How can you say that?" she whispered, and Kyle almost cried. She seemed to want so badly to believe him. But couldn't.

"Because I know you." Taking both her hands in his, he turned her to face him, gazing straight into her eyes with all the love inside him. ' 'Your loyalty is something I've never questioned, Jamie. And I

HER SECRET,