A Heart to Trust by A.L. Brooks (romantic books to read txt) 📗

on merit, not on who he was shagging.” She looked across at Broderick, who watched her intently. “What kind of person does that make me? Certainly not a brave one. Not like Jenny.”

“But your circumstances are different from Jenny’s. You had a lot riding on the chance of getting that permanent job. Even if it isn’t your perfect job, it will get you that start you want. Get something more concrete on your résumé. Jenny’s already got, what, seven years of doing this behind her? I’m not saying she has it easy, but she has it easier than you. So I understand why you think you would have acted differently in that situation. You don’t have to feel ashamed of that.”

“I used to be so much bolder.” Olivia tapped one fingertip against her lips. “This business between us, all this secrecy and creeping around… Keeping my head down has made me timid. It’s not a feeling I like.” She blinked a couple of times; her emotions seemed to be riding near the surface and she felt tears building. “I don’t like what this whole scheme we cooked up has made me.”

“I remember you back when we first met.” He chuckled. “Jeez, I didn’t think I’d ever keep up with you. You had so much energy, and you never stopped laughing. And you’d been like that until, yes, the last couple of years. I know this arrangement was all for my benefit, and we knew it was a long project but…” He shifted in his seat and faced her. “I think we should start the divorce proceedings.”

“But—”

“Just listen. I got what I wanted from this, thanks to you. That sponsorship deal is all mine and not going anywhere, even if I divorce. My mom is now convinced I can have a relationship, and that will keep her off my back for quite some time.” Broderick took her hand, holding it tight. “But you’re not happy. You’ve even got a permanent job now, but you’re still not happy. And hey, as an asexual aromantic, I’m the last guy people expect to think having a partner makes you happy. But I can see how much Jenny means to you. It’s killing me you’re not letting anything happen between you two because you and I are still pretending we’re the happily married couple to keep Dewbury’s and my mother happy.”

“She’s not my type,” Olivia said, apropos of nothing.

“So what? You like her anyway.”

“She may not even want to date me, even if I was available.”

“Well, I think we both know that’s a load of crap.”

“She—”

“Why are you trying to make excuses?” he asked. “What are you so scared of?”

“I’m not scared!” She glared at him, her skin heating. I’m not scared. That’s ridiculous. It’s… Oh bloody hell. “I’m scared,” she whispered.

“I know you are.” Broderick moved closer. “But of what exactly?”

She shook her head, trying to process her epiphany. “Being with you, being married but without having to actually work at being married, it’s been easy. Reliable. I haven’t had to think about pleasing anyone but myself. I haven’t had to take anyone else’s feelings into account because I was merely going through the motions while we got you what you needed. And whatever I got out of it, as in, living here in New York for the first time, was just a nice bonus.” She took a couple breaths. “I’ve treated my life for the last two years as some sort of project. Something that just needed to be worked through to an end goal. An end goal that wasn’t even mine. And I suppose I got used to the crutch that was our setup. The idea that now I can literally do what I want, when I want, and with who I want, is daunting. I almost daren’t believe I can have that.”

“You can.” Broderick used one finger to wipe away the tears from her eyes. “And you deserve it. You really do, Olivia. You’ve stuck with this from the minute we started, and never let up.” He placed a hand on her cheek. “But you’re done. Project complete. Now, you can have anything you want.”

It sounded unreal. Like too much to hope for. But as his words sunk in, other thoughts blended with them.

I can apply for Derek’s job, and I bet I’ve got a great chance of getting it.

I can find my own place to live, something cute that’s all mine.

And I can ask Jenny if she’d go on a date with me. That last thought sent the biggest tingle of excitement coursing through her. Then Maxwell’s words came back to her, and she knew if she was going to do this, she would do it right. Totally above board. She wiped away more tears, and looked up at Broderick, her friend for over ten years, her husband for nearly two of them. “I know what I want.”

“Yes?”

“I want a divorce.”

Broderick’s laughter was loud and long.

Chapter 27

Olivia awoke on Saturday morning with her mind clear and felt freer than she had in a long time. Yes, she still had some doubts and fears; not everything could be fixed with one epiphany and a glass—or two—of a very good Chardonnay. But an exciting determination filled her veins, and she was going to run with it, see what it could bring her.

Her first task of the day was to take Barnaby for his early morning stroll. Mr. Cousins was visiting his brother upstate for the weekend, and unfortunately the brother was allergic to dogs. Spending time with the old hound in the local park would be another balm to her soul after the ridiculous week at C&V. She couldn’t help smiling as a light snow coated her hat and the shoulders of her thick, woolen jacket.

Barnaby, as usual, had been less than keen to venture out onto the city’s snowy streets. But somewhere in his doggy mind, he must have known it had to be done.

While she walked alongside him, Olivia