First Kiss Last by Sara Miller (read e book .TXT) 📗

magazines, tissues, and even a bell. Leah wasn’t sure what the tissues were for but she didn’t complain.

“Do you need a straw?”

“Lily, I love you but get out!” She pointed toward the door and waited.

“Okay, fine.” Lily turned to leave, shoulders slumped.

“Wait. I do need something.”

Lily turned quickly, her countenance cheered. Leah held her arms out and her sister hugged her. They said goodnight and Lily turned the light off as she left the room. Leah snuggled in and slept.

♦

Leah was in the hallway again. She had a knowing feeling and did not even bother with Cade’s door. She went right to Liam’s and turned the handle easily.

Inside Liam’s room, the darkness was broken by a soft night-light. She could see the little boy asleep in his bed.

Leah used the tips of her fingers to gently brush a bit of his hair off his forehead. He needed a haircut. His lashes were wet and there were dried tears on his cheeks. Leah couldn’t take much more. She straightened his blanket and he shifted restlessly.

This was not better. Dreams like this were worse. Leah felt like she was being emotionally tortured. She kissed his forehead and left the room.

On the other side of the door, she found herself awake and back in her bed. Leah checked the clock only to discover it was barely midnight. She sighed and tried to go back to sleep. This time, the darkness claimed her.

♦

“I swear to God, Lily, if you hand me one more glass of water I’m going to throw it at you.” Leah tried to make a joke but she was not kidding.

By mid-week, she was pretty sure she had rested as much as humanly possible without being in a coma. Lily had pushed so much water, tea, juice and other non-caffeinated and non-alcoholic beverages at her that she felt like she was floating. She spent most of her waking hours in the bathroom.

As lovely as Lily’s guest bath was, Leah was done. She sat at the kitchen counter for a change of scenery.

Lily must have known better than to argue. She put the offered glass to her own lips and drank. “Ahhhh!” she smacked her lips loudly, “Refreshing!”

Leah laughed.

“I’m going back to work tomorrow,” she announced.

“But they gave you the whole week off,” Lily said.

“I know but I’m crazy bored. I feel fine. And before too long I really won’t be able to work, so I should probably work while I still can.”

“Logic,” Lily waived her hand dismissively.

“I can’t believe it’s almost May. April just flew by . . .”

“There’s like a week and a half left, but yeah,” Lily agreed.

“Right, but I’m due in two months. Like literally, two months. In eight weeks, I’ll be holding this baby on the outside. I’ll be a mother! I can’t even right now . . . what was I thinking? I can’t do this alone!”

“Breathe, Leah, breathe.”

Lily slid the drink across the counter and stepped back. Leah took a few deep breaths then took a sip of the offered lemonade. She eyed her sister, letting her know she wasn’t completely off the hook.

“And you are not alone. You know that, right?”

“Okay yeah, I know. But I can’t live here forever. We both know that.”

“Through the summer at least, Robert will insist on it. You’ll need our help with a newborn. I mean, you could do it. You can do anything, but you don’t have to. We want to help. Please?”

Lily looked so earnest that Leah could not argue. She still felt guilty for relying on them so heavily but she was also relieved to know they wanted to continue to help. Knowing their expectations helped a lot.

“I guess maybe I’ll look for my own place in the fall.”

“As long as it’s close. Like right next door.”

“Lily . . .”

“I know, I know. This whole neighborhood is larger family homes. We’ll help you find something nearby that’s in your size, okay?”

“Okay,” she found herself agreeing.

“Unless . . .”

Leah tried to interpret the look on her sister’s face. She looked just like Allison when she was about to come up with something outlandish. It usually landed her in trouble.

“Unless what?” Leah wasn’t sure she really wanted to know.

“You know, unless someone comes along and sweeps you off your feet. Like maybe that handsome doctor?” Lily teased.

“There would be no sweeping right now. I’m pretty sure a front loader or backhoe, at the very least a large wheelbarrow would have to be involved. I’m not going there right now. And there is no one anyhow.”

“Okay, but what about—”

Leah stopped her sister with a glare. She held up the lemonade as a warning.

“You really aren’t gonna tell him? He deserves—”

“You don’t know what he deserves, Lily.” She was beyond angry now. She slammed down the drink and lemonade sloshed onto the counter. Her words flew out of her mouth without censor, “What he deserves is to be left the hell alone. He deserves to not have me fucking with his life. He deserves someone who is not going to screw him over and break his damn heart. And not just him but his—”

Leah stopped herself just in time. The images of Liam so sad, of Cade on the floor, of Sky angry and protective flashed through her mind. She couldn’t. She would not cause more harm to them.

“Don’t ask me again or I will leave. I mean it, Lily. Don’t meddle in this. Don’t joke. Don’t insinuate.” Leah was shaking with anger. She had directed it all at Lily but the truth was she was mad at herself. She got up and turned to leave. With her back to her sister, she spoke more calmly.

“Lily, I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at me. I broke him and I can’t fix it. Please.” Leah silently pleaded with her sister to understand: to let it go, to leave her be.

She couldn’t even look at Lily. Leah walked away.

Chapter 35

“Aunt Leah?” Emmie crawled up onto