Say You're Mine: An Enemies to Lovers Romance (Southport Love Stories Book 4) by Sarah Brooks (reading rainbow books .txt) 📗

I had very little experience, if you know what I mean. I wasn’t a virgin, but not far from it. During the time I knew Tiffany, I learned she was quite adept at finding young men, like myself, who were desperate in one way or another. She’d make us feel special, loved. She gave us a sense of power we were missing in our lives. For all her faults, she’s incredibly charming. It was easy to let her talk me into anything she wanted. I wanted to please her.” My mouth was dry as I spoke about things I hadn’t shared with anyone; I had never opened myself up like this before. It was uncomfortable and scary. But I also felt relief; a burden was being lifted.

“I can see that. I was taken in by her, that’s for sure. I had no idea the type of person she was when I met her. Though given how easily I was snowed by Mac and now you, I have to start questioning my ability to read people at all,” she retorted. Her words stung. They broke something inside of me. I hated that she compared me to her ex who cheated on her and stole all her money. She equated us as the same.

How could I ever expect her to get over that?

Swallowing my pain, I kept going.

“She used sex to ensure her...employees’ compliance. I was consumed by her, by the lifestyle. I was making so much money I didn’t know what to do with it all. I was able to pay for Sam’s independent living facility. I bought Mom the house she lives in. I got a new car. I bought my own house. It was overwhelming and intoxicating and it was all thanks to Tiffany. But then something changed.”

Skylar was clenching her hands together so tightly I could see the whites of her knuckles. “What changed?” she asked softly.

“I didn’t have sex with my clients—well not at first. In the beginning, I would simply escort them to parties or have dinner with them in fancy restaurants. I was pretty arm candy and nothing more. But then I was asked to provide ‘weekend companionship’ to a friend of Tiffany’s. It was a woman she had known for years. Her name was Margie. Her husband was some tech tycoon and he had gone away for the weekend. Margie paid a lot of money for me to spend the weekend with her. In the back of my mind, I knew what would be expected of me, but I stupidly believed Tiffany when she said I had a choice with how far I would go.” I let out a noise of disgust. “I was such a naive fool. Because Margie had very specific requests. And I wasn’t allowed to leave until I provided what she asked for. I needed the money. Sam’s fees were due. I had Mom’s mortgage to pay for. I was working my butt off in law school so eventually, I wouldn’t have to do this anymore, but for the time being, I felt stuck by my responsibilities.” I ran a hand down my face, not wanting to look at Skylar when I said this next part. “So, I fucked Margie. And after that, I was expected to fuck each and every one of them.”

Skylar flinched at the harshness of my words. I was filled with shame I had never experienced before. I had always been fine with my choices but looking back at what I felt compelled to do, and Tiffany’s hand in the machinations, I felt used and controlled, and it reframed my past in a way that sickened me.

“You think your mom or Sam would want you doing that to yourself just so you could take care of them?” Skylar asked, her eyes sad.

“I know they wouldn’t. I can only think how disappointed my mom would be if she knew. Which is ultimately what made me tell Tiffany I wanted out.” I absently rubbed Edgar’s head. He was resting his chin on my knee as if he knew I needed the support. “She didn’t take it well and she actually went to my mom’s house. She didn’t tell her who she was, just that she was concerned about me. My mom was very upset, thinking I was overwhelmed with school and couldn’t handle the pressure. She thought Tiffany was just my boss at some random job.”

“She sure likes to fuck with your life,” Skylar said. “That woman has serious control issues.”

“I know. Which is what I realized and why I got the hell away from her. I had no idea that she had in fact been keeping tabs on me all this time.” I should have known though. I knew what kind of person Tiffany was. Had I really thought I’d been able to shake her that easily?

“Okay, so you’ve explained about Tiffany, but that doesn’t explain this.” She picked up the flash drive. “If you felt so horrible doing all that stuff, why have you kept doing it? You have a great career, you’ve found success, so what gives?” She seemed genuinely perplexed.

How do I explain this without sounding pathetic?

“I became addicted to it, Sky. I loved being a dancer. Of having women get turned on by me. Of my being able to pleasure them without even touching them. Their desire for me was a drug I couldn’t give up. I grew up a scrawny kid, the target of bullying. Girls never looked at me as someone they wanted to be with. But up there, on the stage, and when I was on those dates with those women, I was someone else. I was desirable. They wanted me. Even if I was playing a part, it still felt good.” I ran my hands through my hair. “And the money was great. I only started making a decent paycheck from the law firm a couple of years ago. Between my bills, Sam’s care, my mortgage, and Mom’s mortgage