How It Ends by Catherine Lo (classic novels to read .txt) 📗
- Author: Catherine Lo
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“You’re crazy,” I tell her, trying to hold a straight face. I don’t even recognize this girl who swears and yells at me and punches Courtney in the nose. There’s a laugh welling up inside me, but when it comes out, it’s a sob instead.
I don’t know what to do with all this feeling.
Jess takes a step toward me, and I put up my hand to stop her. “Thank you for today,” I choke out. “Really. But I don’t deserve it.”
“What are you talking about?” she says gently. “You’re my friend.”
“Trust me. You don’t want to be my friend. If you knew everything I’ve done. Everything I’ve screwed up. You’d go running.”
“You’re wrong.”
I laugh a bitter little laugh. “You don’t know.”
“Try me,” she says, folding her arms over her chest. “There’s nothing you can say that will change how I feel about you.”
She’s so naive, standing there. I can’t help myself. I open my mouth, and it all comes out. I tell her about how alone I am here at home and how much I hate Madeleine and Sophie. I tell her about the abortion and how I could have stopped it and didn’t. I tell her how I spat on the memory of my mom by destroying a life when that was the most precious thing of all. And I tell her how I lost my mom’s necklace and was too chicken to go back and look for it.
It all comes spilling out, pooling on the floor between us. All the ugliness and all the shame. I let it puddle in the space between us, sure that it will give her the push she needs to walk away. Sure that she will see me for who I really am and recognize that I’m not the person she thinks.
Jess stands there while I let it all out. She sees it all.
And then she walks right through that sea of ugliness like it’s not even there, and envelops me in a hug.
Jessie
Annie pulled away at first, but I held on anyway. She stiffened and laughed uncomfortably, but I held on. I held on until she gave in to the hug, and I kept holding on when she started to cry.
I felt it pouring out of her—all the pain and shame and sadness.
“I had no idea,” I told her as she sobbed against my shoulder. “I’m so, so sorry.”
She shook her head, pulling back to look at me.
“I’m sorry you had to do all that alone. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
She shifted and sat cross-legged on her bed. “You don’t think I’m a bad person?”
Something about the way she looked at me broke my heart in two. She looked so uncertain. So full of doubt. “I think you’re an outstanding person. And a brave one, too.”
She shook her head, as if I’d missed the point. “You’re lying, then. Because I’m not brave at all. If I was brave, I wouldn’t have let all this happen.”
“Bullshit,” I told her, reveling in my new, badass way of swearing. “Being brave doesn’t mean nothing bad happens to you. Bad things happen no matter what. Being brave is how you handle those things. How you keep going and trying and being yourself.”
“You’re the brave one,” she told me, bumping her shoulder against mine. “You really ripped Courtney a new one today.”
I laughed. “I was pretty awesome, wasn’t I?”
“Did you get in trouble?”
“Three-day suspension,” I admitted. “And a warning. Courtney and I aren’t allowed to talk to each other. You can imagine how broken up I am by that.”
“Holy shit! Did your parents freak? How are you here and not grounded for eternity?”
I shrugged. “I told them the truth—that my best friend was being bullied and I stood up for her. When Mom found out it was Courtney, she nearly did a cartwheel.”
“Well, you found your inner bitch today, that’s for sure. Remind me never to piss you off.”
“You know what they say,” I deadpanned. “Bitches get stuff done.”
Annie sputtered. “Put that up on your geek wall!”
I laughed till I snorted, which made both of us laugh harder.
When we finally came up for air, an idea started to take shape in my mind. “Speaking of getting stuff done,” I said, “get ready. We’re going out.”
Annie shook her head. “No way. I’m exhausted. Let’s just hang out here.”
“No. I mean, we have somewhere very specific we need to go.” I pushed her into her bathroom and then pulled out my phone to do some research.
By the time Annie came out, there was a taxi waiting out front. “What the hell, Jess?” she said. “I’m really not up for an adventure right now.”
“Tough,” I told her, loving the shocked look on her face. “Just trust me.”
I had the taxi drop by my house, where my mom was waiting with the money I’d asked to borrow for the fare. I jumped out and grabbed it from her before sprinting back to the cab. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” she called after me.
“Nope,” I said, watching the shock register on her face. “You’re just going to have to trust me.”
Back in the cab, I gave the address of the building and crossed my fingers that this would all work out.
Annie
The taxi pulls up outside a building I never wanted to see again.
I’m suddenly so mad at Jess, I could cry.
“Why?” I ask her in disbelief. “Why would you do this to me?”
She looks shaken for a moment, but then puts her hand on my arm to steady me. “We’re going to get your mom’s necklace back.”
I feel like throwing up. I love her and hate her, and I feel like I don’t know how to get out of this car. What if it’s not there? I can’t walk through those doors for nothing.
“I’ll be right beside you,” she
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