The Interesting Narrative of the Life of Olaudah Equiano - Olaudah Equiano (best ereader for textbooks .txt) š
- Author: Olaudah Equiano
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Reflections on the State of My Mind During My First Convictions; Of the Necessity of Believing the Truth, and Experiencing the Inestimable Benefits of Christianity
Well may I say my life has been
One scene of sorrow and of pain;
From early days I griefs have known,
And as I grew my griefs have grown:
Dangers were always in my path;
And fear of wrath, and sometimes death;
While pale dejection in me reignād
I often wept, by grief constrainād.
When taken from my native land,
By an unjust and cruel band,
How did uncommon dread prevail!
My sighs no more I could conceal.
āTo ease my mind I often strove,
And tried my trouble to remove:
I sung, and utterād sighs betweenā ā
Assayād to stifle guilt with sin.
āBut O! not all that I could do
Would stop the current of my woe;
Conviction still my vileness showād;
How great my guiltā āhow lost from God!
āPrevented, that I could not die,
Nor might to one kind refuge fly;
An orphan state I had to mournā ā
Forsook by all, and left forlorn.ā
Those who beheld my downcast mien
Could not guess at my woes unseen:
They by appearance could not know
The troubles that I waded through.
āLust, anger, blasphemy, and pride,
With legions of such ills beside,
Troubled my thoughts,ā while doubts and fears
Clouded and darkenād most my years.
āSighs now no more would be confinādā ā
They breathād the trouble of my mind:ā
I wishād for death, but checkād the word,
And often prayād unto the Lord.
Unhappy, more than some on earth,
I thought the place that gave me birthā ā
Strange thoughts oppressādā āwhile I replied
āWhy not in Ethiopia died?ā
And why thus spared, nigh to hell?ā ā
God only knewā āI could not tell!
āA tottāring fence, a bowing wall
thought myself ere since the fall.ā
āOft times I mused, nigh despair,
While birds melodious fillād the air:
Thrice happy songsters, ever free,ā
How blessād were they comparād to me!
Thus all things added to my pain,
While grief compellād me to complain;
When sable clouds began to rise
My mind grew darker than the skies.
The English nation callād to leave,
How did my breast with sorrows heave!
I longād for restā ācried āHelp me, Lord!
Some mitigation, Lord, afford!ā
Yet on, dejected, still I wentā ā
Heart-throbbing woes within were pent;
Nor land, nor sea, could comfort give,
Nothing my anxious mind relieve.
Weary with travail, yet unknown
To all but God and self alone,
Numerous months for peace I strove,
And numerous foes I had to prove.
Inurād to dangers, griefs, and woes,
Trainād up āmidst perils, deaths, and foes,
I said āMust it thus ever be?ā ā
No quiet is permitted me.ā
Hard hap, and more than heavy lot!
I prayād to God āForget me notā ā
What thou ordaināst willing Iāll bear;
But O! deliver from despair!ā
Strivings and wrestlings seemād in vain;
Nothing I did could ease my pain:
Then gave I up my works and will,
Confessād and ownād my doom was hell!
Like some poor prisāner at the bar,
Conscious of guilt, of sin and fear,
Arraignād, and self-condemned, I stoodā ā
āLost in the world, and in my blood!ā
Yet here, āmidst blackest clouds confinād,
A beam from Christ, the daystar, shinād;
Surely, thought I, if Jesus please,
He can at once sign my release.
I, ignorant of his righteousness,
Set up my labours in its place;
āForgot for why his blood was shed,
And prayād and fasted in its stead.ā
He dyād for sinnersā āI am one!
Might not his blood for me atone?
Thoā I am nothing else but sin,
Yet surely he can make me clean!
Thus light came in, and I believād;
Myself forgot, and help receivād!
My Saviour then I know I found,
For, easād from guilt, no more I groanād.
O, happy hour, in which I ceasād
To mourn, for then I found a rest!
My soul and Christ were now as oneā ā
Thy light, O Jesus, in me shone!
Blessād be thy name, for now I know
I and my works can nothing do;
āThe Lord alone can ransom manā ā
For this the spotless Lamb was slain!ā
When sacrifices, works, and prayār,
Provād vain, and ineffectual were,
āLo, then I come!ā the Saviour cryād,
And, bleeding, bowād his head and dyād!
He dyād for all who ever saw
No help in them, nor by the law:ā ā
I this have seen; and gladly own
āSalvation is by Christ alone!ā23
The author embarks on board a ship bound for Cadizā āIs near being shipwreckedā āGoes to Malagaā āRemarkable fine cathedral thereā āThe author disputes with a popish priestā āPicking up eleven miserable men at sea in returning to Englandā āEngages again with Doctor Irving to accompany him to Jamaica and the Mosquito Shoreā āMeets with an Indian prince on boardā āThe author attempts to instruct him in the truths of the Gospelā āFrustrated by the bad example of some in the shipā āThey arrive on the Mosquito Shore with some slaves they purchased at Jamaica, and begin to cultivate a plantationā āSome account of the manners and customs of the Mosquito Indiansā āSuccessful device of the authorās to quell a riot among themā āCurious entertainment given by them to Doctor Irving and the author, who leaves the shore and goes for Jamaicaā āIs barbarously treated by a man with whom he engaged for his passageā āEscapes and goes to the Mosquito admiral, who treats him kindlyā āHe gets another vessel and goes on boardā āInstances of bad treatmentā āMeets Doctor Irvingā āGets to Jamaicaā āIs cheated by his captainā āLeaves the Doctor and goes for England.
When our ship was got ready for sea again, I was entreated by the captain to go in her once more; but, as I felt myself now as happy as I could wish to be in this life, I for some time refused; however, the advice of my friends at last prevailed; and, in full resignation to the will of God, I again embarked for Cadiz in March 1775. We had a very good passage, without any material accident, until we arrived off the Bay of Cadiz; when one Sunday, just as we were going into
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