Confessions from the Quilting Circle by Maisey Yates (free ebook reader for iphone TXT) 📗

“And what are you going to do about it? I mean... Are you actually going to...”

“I have a life in Boston. I have a career. It’s no more practical for me to give it up now than it was then. So no. And he knows that.” But her sister suddenly looked sad.

“Enough sex talk,” Avery said, pulling a face. “It’s not fair.”

“I didn’t have sex with Ben,” Lark said. “I kissed him.”

“Yeah, well, you’re going to sleep with him,” Hannah said prosaically.

Lark’s whole body tensed up as excitement and fear poured through her in equal measure. “You don’t know that.”

“I pretty much do,” Hannah said.

“Stop it, you don’t know.”

“I do. Because you’re not twelve, you are thirty-four. And you made out with him. You don’t just make out to make out when you’re thirty-four.”

“Maybe I do. You don’t know my life. Maybe I like a little sensuality. Maybe I don’t need for it to be all about... You know.”

“Not even I believe that,” Avery said.

Hannah took another sip of wine. Lark did the same. Avery had gone through three quarters of her glass without Lark even realizing.

“Why wouldn’t you sleep with him?” Hannah asked.

“Because last time I ended up devastated.”

“Last time?”

“Yeah.” The wine was working through her system, making her both reckless and decisive. “You want to hear virginity stories. Since I had to hear about your vine tryst, let me tell you mine. Ben broke up with Keira for five seconds. I went to his house to watch a movie, and we had sex. Then, he got back together with her.”

“Oh my gosh,” Avery said. “That’s why you didn’t come back for the wedding.”

“Yes,” Lark said. “It was... Horrible. Humiliating.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” Hannah asked.

“Why would I?”

“Because you... Never kept secrets.” Avery shook her head. “I didn’t think you were capable of it. You were always sounding off about every little feeling you had.”

“I wasn’t. I kept plenty of things to myself, thank you very much. Including the fact that I was terminally in love with him.”

“It was literally the only thing in your diary I didn’t already know,” Hannah said. “You didn’t keep that many secrets.”

“You just... You don’t know everything about me.”

“Well, clearly not everything,” Avery said. “But plenty. I mean, let’s take the quilt for example. You haven’t even chosen the swatch yet. You roped us into doing this, and you’re working on everything but the quilt. It’s classically you.”

“What does that mean? You keep saying things like that. You make all these proclamations about my life, and I don’t even know what any of it means.”

“You don’t know what it means? I think you do,” Avery said. “It’s just how you are, Lark. You’re enthusiastic, but you don’t really commit to things. You... I don’t know. You coast. You drift. And the drift carries you to fortunate places. Look, it even brought you back to making out with the guy that you used to be in love with.”

“You don’t know me,” Lark said, suddenly filled with the kind of righteous indignation that she had not felt since she was eighteen years old. Since before.

“I have known you for thirty-four years.”

“No. You know exactly what I show you. Which is not everything. Because do you know what happens, Avery? Life kicks the shit out of you. And then you just quit being who you were before.”

“I am well aware of the fact that life kicks the shit out of you, Lark, thank you.”

“What, are you the same? Are you the same as from before?”

“No. But are you honestly comparing some guy you slept with forever ago with my abusive marriage?”

“No. You don’t know what I’m... You don’t know what I’m comparing. Because you don’t know me. Not really. Both of you. You write me off all the time. You talk about how I’m all these things, but you don’t actually know. And yes, I let you think so. But I have a successful career as an illustrator, and I’m running the Craft Café just fine, and you both still think that I’m...some kind of feckless wonder.”

Venting like this felt surprisingly therapeutic and she was ready to embrace it. Ready to let it all out.

“Well, what do you think about me?” Avery asked.

Lark narrowed her eyes. “I think that you’re boring. You were pretty and popular in high school and it made you feel good, but instead of growing up you just...decided to try and keep being that. Which is boring. And I think that you decided to get married and play it safe because you didn’t actually want to go for your dreams. Because you wanted to be a writer. But you didn’t think that you could actually do it.”

“Yeah, real safe. My life turned out real safe,” Avery said, taking another sip of wine.

“Great! Do me,” Hannah said, looking ready for a fight.

Lark rounded on her sister. “You try to pretend you don’t care about things because you’re consumed with angst. You have convinced yourself that you can’t love anything but your violin. But it doesn’t love you back. And you’re so consumed with your all-or-nothing attitude that you don’t even realize you’re already successful. Because it’s not the exact thing you want you don’t think you have anything. Also, you’re a slut.”

“You should be more of a slut,” Hannah said. “Then maybe you wouldn’t be tied up in knots over some guy you kissed. And there’s nothing wrong with having goals. And there’s nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home mom, either.”

“I didn’t say there was,” Lark said. “I said Avery specifically sold herself short. On purpose. Because she was too afraid to go after what she wanted.”

“So, Hannah is wrong for going after what she wanted,” Avery said. “And I’m wrong for not going after what I wanted. I just think you’re spoiled. Mom coddled you, because you were wild. And she was afraid that she would lose you. Because she was afraid that