Sidekick by Carl Stubblefield (10 best novels of all time .txt) 📗

away. You just push them in deeper to rot and fester. As much as it hurts, you have to go in and pull that sucker out,” Rory said, the gentle demeanor seeming out of place on his gigantic frame.

“You weren’t there, Rory! You get to stay here at headquarters. It was horrible, and I don’t want to talk about it.” She bit her lip, determined to keep this to herself.

“I see you’re upset, but we need to talk this out. You need it whether you think you do or not. Holding it all in isn’t being strong. It weakens you. We’re here to share the load here in the Faction. Don’t insult us by acting like we’re unworthy to share that burden.” He put one of his massive hands on her slumped shoulders and raised an eyebrow.

Aurora looked up at this man she admired, grease-streaked face and all, with his genuine look of concern, and gave in. She looked back down at her hands and began, telling the story as best as she could between sobs that became so strong, she had to pause at times, her heart in almost physical pain.

“It was all because of me! I was the weak link, and because of that we failed the mission and lost three of our team.”

“It happens. That’s the life we signed up for. I don’t mean to gloss over their deaths, but everyone knows that can be part of the job, and we all go in with eyes wide open. Your job is to not let their deaths be in vain.”

“They wouldn’t be dead if I wasn’t so weak! If I didn’t need to be rescued, they wouldn’t have been distracted. I think because they are all so strong and were handling everything so masterfully, I got overconfident. Instead of hanging back and being support like I was ordered, I thought I could take on one of the other supers. He had some kind of draining power and he latched onto me with his abilities. It was like a whip that extended out of his hands. He flung it out and caught me by the neck. I couldn’t breathe, it was horrible!”

Rory folded her into a hug as the sobs came. The words came easier once she had started.

“Crackshot slid from the side and shot the guy holding me, but it put him in a bad position and the other crew attacked him all together. I was there holding my throat trying to breathe, totally worthless. To help Crackshot, Jade Dragon and Polyphemus had to break out of formation and the enemy was able to flank us. El Tigre grabbed me and retreated. The last thing I saw was all three lying on the ground with the other team mauling them mercilessly before I was dumped into the transport and we sped away.”

“So you feel guilty,” Rory gently massaged her back with one of his meaty hands. She flung it away, not feeling like she deserved his attention, standing in defiance.

“He should have left me! We lost three higher tier supers trying to protect a trainee. It was such a waste!”

“No one could have known it would all go south. You are responsible for your teammates, we all know that.”

“Is that always true? We failed that mission, and from what I’ve heard it will set Purple Faction back. We showed our hand and didn’t get the intel we were supposed to get. That can be exploited.” She buried her face in her hands and more sobs began spilling out.

“Okay, Aurora, I get the feeling you need to process this a bit more. But I want you to know I’ve been there before. I haven’t always been here at headquarters. Like you, I’ve been in the field, and I’ve had my share of loss and pain. I’m not going to insult you by saying I know exactly what you’re going through. Sometimes you need time to sort things out. As much as I want to erase those emotions, sometimes nothing anyone says or does can lessen the weight of that. But know that I’m always here. You’re going to want to blame yourself, you’re going to be angry. I’m going to keep checking in with you though, because I know you’re going to want to isolate yourself and that is something you cannot do. I know how special you are, and I’m here when you need someone to talk to or just vent. Got it?”

Aurora wiped tears from her eyes and nodded, still staring at her hands. Just like her, they seemed dainty and ineffectual. She stayed in her room and cried herself to sleep.

She opened her eyes, wiping the tears away. So much loss in the past. These people who had been her surrogate family, gone. It was much harder losing these people than when her mother and then Auntie were out of her life. She felt that these people understood her, and that they needed her. For some reason, that had a big impact on her own feelings of self-worth. She was important, not baggage that had to be managed. She had always felt like an imposition and a handicap to how others wanted to live their lives. Tolerated, but never cherished.

To have them sacrifice themselves for her was difficult, as she still felt unworthy of how they valued her, with very little requirement on her part. She felt unproven, and always in their debt. That she had to somehow repay the interest that they had in her, and all the time they spent to mentor and train her.

After the incident, she felt intense guilt at asking instructors for assistance. Her failure with her team made it difficult to approach others, many who were friends with them. She stopped being such a try-hard, and felt like she saw some disappointment in the eyes of the instructors. She felt unworthy of their help. While she buckled down, studied harder, and tried harder in all her drills, she