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apart at any moment. But I’ve come to understand that you are making an effort to let me into your life, just as I am creating a place for you in mine. Sometimes, I can simply absorb the grace of it all—the simple fact that we are sitting next to each other sharing the same moment.

Last fall during your visit, we climbed a steep flight of stairs from downtown to my neighborhood and were both winded when we reached the top. As the ground flattened out you reached over, twined your slender fingers in mine, and asked me if we were going to have dinner. I assured you that we were.

You looked worried, your eyes searching mine. I know you just wanted to know what came next. So do I.

resources

BOOKS ABOUT SIBLINGS AND FAMILIES

Being the Other One: Growing up with a Brother or Sister Who Has Special Needs, Kate Strohm (Shambhala Publications, 2005)

A Difference in the Family: Living with a Disabled Child, Dr. Helen Featherstone (Penguin Books, 1982)

The Normal One: Life with a Difficult or Damaged Sibling, Jeanne Safer (Free Press, 2002)

Siblings of Children with Autism: A Guide for Families, Sandra L. Harris and Beth Glasberg (Woodbine House, 2003)

BOOKS BY SIBLINGS

Boy Alone: A Brother’s Memoir, Karl Taro Greenfeld (Harper Collins Publishers, 2009)

The Ride Together: A Brother and Sister’s Memoir of Autism in the Family, Paul and Judy Karasik (Washington Square Press, 2002)

Riding the Bus with My Sister: A True Life Journey, Rachel Simon (Plume, 2002)

That Went Well: Adventures in Caring for My Sister, Terrell Harris Dougan (Hyperion, 2009)

Thicker Than Water: Essays by Adult Siblings of People with Disabilities , edited by Don Meyer (Woodbine House, 2009)

BOOKS BY ADULTS WITH AUTISM

Emergence: Labeled Autistic, Temple Grandin and Margaret Scariano (Warner Books, 1996)

Nobody Nowhere: The Extraordinary Autobiography of an Autistic, Donna Williams (Perennial, 2002)

Send in the Idiots: Stories from the Other Side of Autism, Kamran Nazeer (Bloomsbury, 2006)

Thinking in Pictures and Other Reports from My Life with Autism, Temple Grandin (Doubleday, 1995)

BOOKS BY PARENTS

Exiting Nirvana: A Daughter’s Life with Autism, Clara Claiborne Park (Little, Brown, 2001)

Let Me Hear Your Voice: A Family’s Triumph over Autism, Catherine Maurice (Ballantine Books, 1993)

Making Peace with Autism: One Family’s Story of Struggle, Discovery, and Unexpected Gifts, Susan Senator (Trumpeter, 2006)

The Siege: A Family’s Journey Into the World of an Autistic Child, Clara Claiborne Park (Back Bay Books, 1982)

MOVIES

Autism: The Musical, 2007

The Black Balloon, 2008

The Keys to the House, 2004

Rain Main, 1988

What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, 1993

acknowledgments

THIS BOOK COULD not have been written without the help and encouragement of the many special people I am lucky enough to have in my life. I would like to express my deepest gratitude to: Anne Bartlett Blair, my generous and kind first reader; Larry Garvin, for being the family filter and for giving unexpected and insightful comments about the writing itself; Beth Award, who has listened to my stories for years and whose friendship I cannot do without; Steve Zaro, faithful friend and sage, who always steers me right; the Sol Sisters, who inspire me to be the person they think I am; my family, Lawrence Garvin, Patricia Garvin, Mike Garvin, Larry Garvin, and Ann Modarelli, for their love and support; my grandmother, Patricia Travis, for feeding me books and telling me I would be a writer; Terrell Harris Dougan, fellow sibling and bridge to the book world; Laura Yorke and Matthew Lore, for believing in this story; Brendan Ramey, for inexhaustible love and support; and Margaret Garvin, who taught me how to read the world.

about the author

EILEEN GARVIN WAS born and raised in the Pacific Northwest. The youngest of five children, she has always been close with her sister Margaret, who is three years her senior and was diagnosed with autism the month Eileen was born. She writes for newspapers, magazines, and Web sites from Hood River, Oregon, where she lives with her husband, Brendan. This is her first book.

HOW TO BE A SISTER: A Love Story with a Twist of Autism

COPYRIGHT © EILEEN Garvin, 2010

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No portion of this book may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

THE EXPERIMENT, LLC

260 FIFTH AVENUE

NEW YORK, NY 10001-6425

WWW.THEEXPERIMENTPUBLISHING.COM

SOME OF THE names of people, and identifying details, have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

Grateful acknowledgment is made for permission to reprint a portion of the lyrics to “Mack the Knife” on pages 25–26:

English Words by Marc Blitzstein

Original German Words by Bert Brecht

Music by Kurt Weill

© 1928 (Renewed) Universal Edition

© 1955 (Renewed) Weill-Brecht-Harms Co., Inc.

Renewal Rights Assigned to the Kurt Weill Foundation for Music,

Bert Brecht

and

The Estate of Marc Blitzstein

All Rights Administered by WB Music Corp.

All Rights Reserved

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS Control Number: 2009940033

eISBN : 978-1-615-19117-8

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