The Gender Game by Bella Forrest (historical books to read txt) 📗

"Yeah," he said. "He did mention it in passing, I guess… Never mind."

I let him fade into quiet. The less we discussed Lee and me, the better.

But since he'd posed a question about my relationship, it seemed only natural that I should turn a question on him that ran along the same lines. "Have you always been single?"

"No. I haven't. I… I was married. But things didn't work out."

I sensed the discomfort in his voice and immediately regretted asking the question. I didn't want to dredge all those painful memories up for him. Not on such a beautiful evening as this, when his mood appeared to be lighter than it had been since I'd met him.

"I'm sorry," I said and glanced away, hoping to make it clear that I didn't expect him to offer anything more on the subject.

My eyes traveled further over the city of Patrus to its vast surrounding suburbs. Then northward, where The Green began on Patrus' side of the river, extending like an infinite ocean of trees. Then to the river itself, whose hanging mist was tinged with the evening sun… And then beyond that, blurred by the fog, the faint outline of Matrus.

Sitting here with Viggo, it felt somewhat painful to stare in my homeland's direction for long. I'd had enough of the cityscape, anyway. I twisted back around and faced the wilderness. Viggo did the same.

Only a quarter of the sun was visible now above the peaks. Soon we would have to leave. I didn't want Lee getting tense with me again, under more suspicion that I was getting "carried away".

But we still had a few minutes left.

Enveloped by the peaceful atmosphere, on the cusp of light and darkness, a question bubbled up in me.

"You ever wonder if things will always be like this?"

"What do you mean?" Viggo asked, his voice husky.

"Just… how we find ourselves living."

Viggo's gaze lowered to his hands. There was a pause before he replied, "More often than I should probably admit."

Having both been victims of the law in our countries, I supposed we were more vulnerable to wondering. Grief did that to you. It made you wish for a life that wasn't yours. It made you dream.

But dreaming wasn’t encouraged in my world. Just like expressing views opposing that of our Queen wasn’t. Doing the latter publicly was an offense that led to serious consequences—jail time, or occasionally even banishment. Criticism of the Court was something that had to be done behind closed doors, with people whom you trusted wouldn’t rat you out. I suspected Patrus was similar in that respect, given Viggo's caginess to clarify certain comments he’d made about Patrus’ leadership.

My eyes fixed on a family of eagles swooping down upon a rocky cliffside, settling in for the night.

"Do you feel like you belong in Patrus?" I asked him in almost a whisper.

Viggo furrowed his brows. "I s'pose I don't really understand the question. I was born and raised here. I am a man."

I didn't really understand the question either. I’d been born and raised in Matrus. I was a woman. Matrus was where I belonged. Matrus was my home…

"I guess I just wonder what happens to someone who doesn't feel they belong on either side of the river.”

Viggo didn't have an answer to that one.

25

We didn't stay much longer on the roof. Viggo pushed himself off, landing on the grass, and I was about to jump off after him when he reached up to help me. I hesitated, unsure of how this was going to work. Holding his hands at this angle would be silly.

"Hold my shoulders," he said.

His hands positioned on the roof on either side of my hips, he beckoned me closer with a gentle nod. I leaned down to grip his shoulders. As I slid into his arms, his hands engulfed my waist. Warmth flooded through me. My feet touching the ground, I was suddenly acutely aware of my erratic heartbeat. I withdrew my hands from Viggo’s shoulders and he let go of my waist, but we shared the same two feet of soil for a few seconds, his eyes reflecting the fading evening light.

Then I staggered backward. I looked toward the cabin, feeling lightheaded. What's gotten into me? It's this mountain air or… something.

"Let's go," Viggo said. His voice came as a croak. He left me and strode toward the front of his home; I found my balance and followed him.

Mounting the motorcycle, neither of us spoke as we traveled back to Lee's house.

We arrived well on time. Lee had only just gotten in and he smiled on opening the door to me, before the two of us waved Viggo goodnight.

"Any change of schedule for him? No press release has been made yet involving a date." Lee asked as soon as we were inside.

"It'll be kind of a last-minute fight," I said, my throat feeling parched. "It's been fixed for Saturday."

"Hm. Okay," Lee said, stroking his chin. "That gives us four days before the banquet. I don't see why his schedule would change much immediately after the fight… Everything should still run as planned.”

The next few days passed quickly. Almost too quickly. Except for Lee reporting a scare in the lab, where he'd witnessed a group of men huddled around the egg, evidently trying to coax it open, nothing very eventful happened. Lee assured me that they'd failed to open it, though for all we knew, they might be getting closer to figuring it out. It was a good thing the banquet would soon be upon us.

Lee continued to drop me off with Viggo in the mornings, and when he and I weren't in his office, roaming the city, or in some meeting, Viggo would be in the gym. I watched from the bench while Viggo worked out, sometimes by himself and sometimes with others. The two of us didn't go up to his cabin again.

I had no more 'special' jobs to accomplish