Exes and Exorcisms by Keira Blackwood (uplifting book club books .txt) 📗

At least, not for the Collector. I like being my own vampire.”

“And you came here to visit?” I asked. “Truly?”

His eyebrow rose and he pointed to the blood bags. Huffing with impatience, I handed him one.

“Yes, I came here to visit. Truly.”

“Did anything weird happen to you on the way here?” I asked.

He gestured for another blood bag, which I gave him. “Nothing at all. I started to appreciate nature, though, and flowers. Cleanliness is my new motto. No more Pestilence Peter. I now prefer to be called Poetry Peter. Because there once was a vampire from Ohio...who never wanted to lie-o. He moved in with his friends, who loved him to the end, and nobody ever had to cry-o.”

What the actual fuck.

“Look, Peter,” I said, “maybe something happened to you. Did you hit your head on something?”

He held his hand out for the last blood bag, and I gave it to him.

“Nope,” he said. “I’m simply a new, clean, delightfully-scented vampire. I belong with you and Marla—and Aubrey, whenever she shows up.”

“She has no plans—”

“Sure, whatever. I know the three of you are in this together. And I’m your sibling, too. You can’t leave me out.”

“You can’t live with Marla. She has a shifter boyfriend.”

“Whatever. They’ll love having me around. Whenever I want, I can spread flowers and joy.”

This was crazy talk. Maybe I should keep an eye on him. Just to be on the safe side. Better him here, holed up in Marla’s apartment, than wreaking his particular brand of chaos throughout the streets of Forbidden.

I had to go downstairs and face Xavier...but maybe there was a spell that could get rid of him. Cordelia, my witchy new friend, might be able to concoct something for me.

5

XAVIER

I helped myself to the bright red sofa at the front of the parlor and leaned back. Through the large glass window I watched the colors of the sunrise as I listened to Peter tease Kelly. The two of them had an interesting rapport, and I couldn’t help but take pleasure in Kelly’s annoyed grumbles and exaggerated sighs. They’d been up there for a while, giving me a good glimpse into what vampire life might be like for her.

I also gleaned a few tidbits of intel from the exchange. Peter had mentioned her having a daylight bracelet, implying she wouldn’t suffer ill effects from sunlight like most vampires did. He also spouted a few names, only one of which I recognized—Marla. Kelly had mentioned Marla before, too. She seemed to be the vampire who owned the place. And the most important piece of information was that Kelly didn’t completely trust Peter, like I’d already assumed.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and found a text from Clyde. Apparently I’d missed two others, from a few hours ago.

Clyde: Late for check-in. Status report.

Clyde: Any trouble?

Clyde: If I don’t hear from you within the hour, I’m sending Austin.

I scratched my beard. It was scruffy, and it surprised me that I actually cared. It was because she had mentioned it. I shook off the thought and considered what to text back. Whenever someone took a job from The Stakehouse, we committed to a nightly check-in. When dealing with vamps, you never knew when you’d find yourself in a nest. In a way, I had found a nest here in Forbidden. But I wasn’t afraid of Kelly, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell Clyde about her.

My fingers hovered over the keyboard on the screen.

Arrived without incident. Surveying the town. Will report back tomorrow.

There, that should do it. Nice and vague. No lying. Like most shifters, I hated lying. It left a sour taste on my tongue, and it had a distinct scent, too, reminiscent of port-a-potties. No one wants that lingering in their nostrils, or worse, on their tongue. I got the impression not all shifters experienced lies in the same way, but it was always unpleasant.

I watched Clyde’s dots start and stop, and then his text came through.

Good.

With that over, I slid my phone back into my pocket and looked out the window. More banging sounded upstairs, and then some stomping. And then it was quiet.

Out the window, a fluffy white cat stepped out into the street. She swished her tail back and forth and looked over her shoulder to the alley.

I could feel Kelly approach, even though I couldn’t hear her.

“Need me to get rid of Peter for you?” I asked, keeping my gaze to the window. It was easier if I didn’t look at Kelly, because every time I did, I fell a little deeper in love with her.

“No.”

“He sounds like quite the poet. And it sounds...like he knows it.”

She stepped into my line of sight and held up a hand. “Do not even start.”

The frown faded from her face as she caught a glimpse of the cat in the street.

“Snowball, right?” I asked.

She glanced at me, then back to the window. “How did you know?”

“The snow white coat,” I said, rising from my seat to stand beside her. “I heard you talking about them upstairs. And of course there’s the way—King Lordship, was it?”

She nodded emphatically, and pointed to the scruffy black cat who was clearly the king. No question.

“His Lordship King Snugglebumpkins,” she said with an exaggerated British accent. “He rules whatever roost he chooses to inhabit. And he’s the reason I’m free.”

Free. That implied at one point she wasn’t. She’d also mentioned escaping from someone when she’d been talking to Peter. What happened to her in Cincinnati?

I could have asked. I wanted to ask. But this was the first positive interaction we’d had since I’d found her, and I didn’t want to ruin it.

“I suspected as much,” I said. “Snowball was waving her furry backside at Meowcus Anthony for the sole purpose of antagonizing His Lordship King Snugglebumpkins.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because when she’s cruel, he only wants her more.” I admired the curve of Kelly’s lips, and the