N is for... (Checklist Book 14) by L DuBois (latest novels to read TXT) 📗

so he was cupping her head between his palms, thumbs just in front of her ears, fingers sunk into all that lovely soft hair.

“Oh I most definitely would stop,” he assured her. “I’d stop touching you, playing with you, pleasuring you…”

“That’s diabolical,” she whispered.

“A little sadism in a Dom is a good thing.” And then, just because he knew she’d appreciate the comment, said, “And a little sadism never hurt anyone.”

She let out another peal of laughter.

He leaned down, close enough that he could have kissed her. He didn’t, but he could have.

“Autumn, you mentioned my dick.”

“Yes, yes I did.”

“But we will not be having sex.”

“Of course not. A BDSM scene doesn’t mean sex.”

“Doesn’t always mean sex,” he corrected.

“We just met,” she said in what should have been agreement, but sounded a little unsure. Dare he say, disappointed.

“Yes.” He dropped his hands and straightened. “So why were you thinking about my dick?”

“I like to objectify men like that.” Her response was too quick.

“I think it has something to do with you finding me attractive.”

“Need your ego stroked so bad you keep bringing it up?”

He wanted to push her, but she’d folded her arms across her waist, her shoulders hunched defensively.

Daniel put one finger under her chin, tipping her face up.

“Are you ready?” he asked solemnly.

She relaxed, and he was fairly sure that was due to him backing the conversation away from an uncomfortable topic.

“Yes.”

“Master Daniel,” he corrected. “Or Sir.”

She stiffened, just slightly, then said, “Yes, Master Daniel.”

He moved back, making space for her to stand, then offered her his hand.

Autumn placed her fingers in his, let him pull her to her feet.

Daniel ran his thumb across her palm. Her eyes fluttered closed for a moment, and when she opened them they seemed darker and softer than they had been a moment ago.

She was…perfect.

The word came to mind unbidden, followed quickly by a rush of desire so strong that he felt it in his gut. He wanted her. This woman in particular. It wasn’t always like that. He came here knowing he could exorcise his own demon by topping a willing sub. It was a safe outlet for his needs.

And while no two subs were the same, and he always made sure that the scene served both their needs, his desire was usually for the scene, not for a particular sub.

But he wanted her.

Wanted to kiss her.

Sit her on his lap so he could feed her with one hand while the other played with her nipples.

Cuddle her in aftercare, and then walk her to her car when they were done.

Most of all, he wanted to fuck her.

He’d stricken that particular activity from the scene, and now that he’d said it, going back on his word would make him the kind of irresponsible, self-control-less asshole who wasn’t fit to be a Dom.

No fucking.

Damn it.

Chapter 4

This is a scene, not a date.

He is your play partner, not your date.

You can sub for him, you can’t date him.

As mantras went, it was a little repetitive, but functional.

Or maybe the fact that Daniel was now undeniably in his mental top space—the other side of the sub-space coin—was doing more to keep her from feeling defensive than her mantra was.

If this had been a date… well.

Intimate relationships were kept in two completely separate buckets. The dating and falling in love bucket was kept very far away from the D/s bucket. The contents were never allowed to mix.

Usually, it wasn’t a problem, and past heartbreak and trauma was a good motivator for the separation.

For the first time since becoming a member of Las Palmas, Autumn was having trouble.

Daniel was the kind of man she could date and fall in love with. She wanted to plop him into the relationship bucket.

He was also the kind of man she would never allow herself to fall in love with. He belonged firmly in the D/s bucket.

Because he was a Dom.

Because he knew she was a sub.

And once a man knew she was a sexual submissive they wouldn’t respect her. They’d use her desire to submit against her. They wouldn’t love her; they’d either think she was too needy and not worth the extra work. Or think they owned her.

You know that’s not right. You know that’s fear and pain talking. Also, you’re a horrible hypocrite.

Autumn forced her internal monologue to shut up as she and Daniel stepped into one of the club’s elegant inner courtyards.

The Sub Rosa court was elegant and discreet in comparison to the others. The canopy of hybrid desert climbing roses sheltered the outdoor space, and added a romantic feel that could provide a delicious counterpoint to the kinky and perverse activities that took place in the courtyard itself or one of the surrounding playrooms.

A platform in the center provided a stage where scenes could be performed, or subs put on display. The rest of the courtyard had plush outdoor furniture arranged in conversational groupings, or lone chairs or couches surrounded by heavy wine-barrel pots with lattice panels of climbing roses where a couple could have the illusion of privacy.

Daniel led her to a wide, armless chair sheltered on two sides by pots of roses and climbing vines.

The club had started to come alive, people in fetwear walking around with a bemused, unsure air which was unusual and most likely thanks to the game.

Daniel took a seat, draping his suit jacket over the back of the couch. His gaze raked her, and this time it wasn’t just appreciative, but possessive.

It’s not a date. It’s a D/s scene.

The way he was looking at her was most definitely Dom-like rather than date-like. If a date looked at her like that, she would be reaching for her pepper spray and making wide eyes at the server as a warning that she might need help with an escape plan.

“What are you thinking about?” Daniel asked, surprising her.

“Context,” she answered honestly.

His eyebrows rose in question.

“The way you’re looking at me would be…scary if we were on a date.”

“This