Forgive Me by Kateri Stanley (love letters to the dead txt) 📗

anyone who has come in contact with the Night Scrawler, or from any type of trauma in general. If not, some solace. You’re not alone out there. We can help.”

Lorraine nodded with sympathy and understanding.

Jace felt immediately guilty. They'd lost contact with her and Doug after high school, their lives separated by the desire of their studies. According to Facebook, Doug was running his own law firm in New York and he’d married a gorgeous business woman. He'd done well for himself, Jace was too scared to message him because time had moved in a rapid pace.

Tears spilled down her cheeks when Stripe began to talk about her parents. She'd met Beverley a couple of times, always a welcoming loving person. She couldn't remember Peter very well, from what Stripe had said in the past, he wasn't at home much. She remembered attending the graduation after his death, her arm had been lashed around Stripe as she sat with her head bent forward, even Zippo was stumped to produce a joke.

Her husband wiped a tear from her cheek. “What's the matter, hun?”

“I should’ve been there for her,” Jace replied. “We should’ve tried harder.”

“Baby, we didn't know. We were kids, what could we have done?”

“Write, call, email. Done more.” They used MSN Messenger back in the day, except Jace and Zippo stayed in touch. After that night at the prom when they danced, she became a Bloom in no time after she received her fashion degree.

Zippo caressed her waist. “I think it's so adorable you feel this way J but, you can't be there for everyone. What happened to Stripe was awful. She was the quietest and shyest one out of the group and look at her now, she's coped with it.”

Jace nodded, kissing his knuckles. In a way, she knew her husband was right.

Chapter Fifty

I breathe in the lake air, enjoying the sensation of sunlight on my skin. I catch the glimmering smile on your face. You’re beautiful like this. Your skin practically glows.

“You’re a feisty one,” you whisper to our son.

Samuel wiggles as I push the stroller. He’s over six months now. His little arms stretch out, his tiny hands ball into fists, Sam loves fluffy toys, rolling around on his belly making car noises. He is an exact replica of his sister.

“Momma!” Sofia shouts, clutching onto Daisy’s hand.

Daisy, our Nanny had flown through a gruelling recruitment process with flashing colours. She’s been a brilliant addition to our household supporting during the weekdays. She’s a no-bullshit type of person with a degree in Childhood Education, it isn't a permanent post, but it’s good for now while the kids are young.

“Wook, I found a wish!” Sofia exclaims.

You smile. “And what are you going to do with it?”

We watch our little raven-haired beauty scoop up the tiny fish from the water. Her hair is tied up in a ballerina bun courtesy of Daisy. Sofia is delicate with handling the little creature as if it is made of precious china. She turns to me; her smile still scares me now and then. “Daddy, help me!”

I walk up to her, you automatically swoop in, taking over and push Sam’s stroller. I bounce Sofia into my arms, lifting her little size off the ground. She likes how tall I am, being able to see up high in the sky. Adapting to fatherhood has been a different experience every day. The first time you gave her to me when she was crying, I thought I was going to faint but as you’d said, she had to get used to me. When Sofia warmed to my presence, she fell asleep, her fingers clung onto my shirt as I put her to bed. I know I’m not the best dad in the world, but I like to think I’m trying.

Sofia hands the fish to me, watching with quiet eagerness. I don’t like the way the fish convulses, wet and squidgy in my palm. I feel momentarily uncomfortable.

“All you need to do is put it back in.” I throw the fish and it plonks into the lake. The fish jolts to life, swirling in the water. “See? He’s fine now.”

Sofia leans over, gazing down. “He won’t die, will he?”

“No, he’s fine honey.”

The past few months have been crazy, events have whooshed past in a blur. Work and life have gone head to head. Virtisan sky rocketed since Claudia Crow, the young teenager who uploaded monologues from movies and plays. I’ve travelled and so have you, it was one of the reasons why we hired Daisy. We’re in a period where things are mad, I’m hoping they’ll calm down soon.

You wanted to quit Titan News, to go freelance but Carla dug her heels in deep, offering a raise in salary. You received enough writing requests and with luck had a relatively good relationship with your boss so you agreed to stay. Then you got an offer from a publishing house to write a book and you took it. After what happened, you wouldn't stop writing. I was concerned for a while as you'd nurse Sofia, with your notepad propped up on your thriving belly, scribbling with creative madness. It was like a lust in your body.

Samuel’s arrival into the world was a surprise to us both. I enjoyed watching your body transition in the stages of pregnancy. I made sure I attended every appointment and ultra sound scan. I don’t know what it was but seeing your body transform turned me on. You held this powerful beauty and yes, your swelling breasts was an added bonus. You kept telling me to shut up every time I told you how beautiful you looked, you dismissed my words and started comparing yourself to a pregnant hippopotamus, especially on the bad days when you wrestled with nausea and back pain. You were adorable, and so cute, sex was interesting, it took some time but we both enjoyed ourselves. Towards the end of your pregnancy, Sofia asked curious questions about why you walked