Battleship Raider by Paul Tomlinson (book recommendations website .txt) 📗

I said. “We could say it’s short for The Butcher.”

“That makes me sound like a psychopath.”

“Yeah, I guess that was the old you. We need something that reflects the new improved version. How does ‘Buckie’ sound?” I got that from bucket of bolts, but he didn’t need to know that.

“No.”

“Slugger?”

“You’d just shorten that to Slug wouldn’t you?”

“Sumo?”

“People would call us Sumo and Baka.”

“Something ironic like Titch? Or Pipsqueak or Half-Pint?”

“Half-Pint and Half-Wit?”

One advantage of travelling with an eight-foot-tall bright red robot was that he kept the flies away – the bigger creatures too. And with him leading the way and clearing the undergrowth, we made rapid progress.

“I’m going to call you Floyd,” I said. “You look like a Floyd.”

“Floyd?”

“It’s either that or Rusty.”

“Floyd,” he said, this time without inflection. Then he shrugged and it was more or less settled.

“Do you intend to remain on this planet?” Floyd asked.

“I don’t have a choice,” I said, “until I can get together enough cash to buy passage on a ship back to civilisation.”

“What happened to the money you stole from the A.C.I.D.?”

“I don’t want to talk about that. And I didn’t steal it. I moved it and then it disappeared.”

“As if by magic? You should have come up with a better story.”

“It happens to be true. I don’t have their money,” I said.

“They seem to think you do.”

“Well, I don’t. Can we change the subject?”

“Someone stole it from you, didn’t they?”

“Why would you say such a thing?”

Floyd looked down at me. Again I imagined he was raising an eyebrow.

“What happened to your head?” I asked. “Your real one?”

“I lost it.”

“You lost it?”

“A dragon swallowed it. I didn’t know it could open its mouth that wide.”

I laughed. “I like this head – the colour suits you.”

“You don’t think it will make me too easily recognisable?”

“No,” I said. The yellow head was the least of his problems. “All eight-foot-tall military robots look alike.”

We walked on in silence for a while.

“What will I do when we get there?” Floyd asked.

“Get where?”

“Wherever it is that we are going.”

“I don’t know, why?”

“I no longer have a purpose,” he said. He slowed down and his upper body seemed to sag into a dejected pose.

“You’re a free agent,” I said. “You can do whatever you want.”

“Robots have their freedom now?”

Oops, awkward moment. “Not exactly,” I said.

“Then my options are more limited than you suggest.”

“We all have to do the best we can with the cards we’re dealt,” I said philosophically.

“You cheat at cards,” Floyd said.

“That has never been proved,” I said. “If you were a free robot, what would you choose to do?”

“I am unfamiliar with the world as it is now,” he said. “I think I would need to find a partner.”

I nodded. “Someone who knows their way around. Someone with a lifetime of experience. Someone you could trust.”

“Perhaps I will meet such a man when we reach the next settlement.” Floyd picked up the pace again, his long strides covering twice the distance of mine. He was chuckling, I was sure of it.

“Hey, wait up!” I crashed through the undergrowth after him.

“I dislike the jungle,” Floyd said when I caught up with him. “Moisture impedes optimum functioning.”

“How do you feel about sand and scorching heat?”

“A desert?”

“That’s where we’re headed.”

“Why?”

“That’s where the nearest town is.”

“Dust and grit also impede optimum functioning.”

“This is going to be a long trip,” I muttered.

“We should have stolen the cargo lifter,” Floyd said.

Why didn’t I think of that?

Do You Want More Quincy & Floyd?

If you enjoyed Battleship Raider and would like to see more books about Quincy and Floyd, you can help make that happen. And you can help new readers discover this book. How? Just write a review.

You don’t have to write one of those awful ‘book reports’ like we did at school – just leave a star rating and a couple of sentences on Amazon or Goodreads. Or a short review on your blog. Or tell your friends about it on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or wherever you hang out. Honest reviews and genuine ‘word-of-mouth’ make all the difference to independent authors.

Let people know what you liked about this book, and why they might like it too. And if there was something you didn’t like, you can say that too: constructive criticism helps me write a better book next time.

But please, no spoilers!

Thanks for being one of the outlaws,

PS: For the latest updates on Quincy & Floyd go to:

www.paultomlinson.org/outlaws

Also by Paul Tomlinson

He Came to Rob the Town, Not Save It

Thief and confidence trickster Quin Randall arrives in Cicada City with his sidekick Floyd, an eight-foot tall ex-military robot. Their plan is simple: swindle a wealthy local businessman and buy passage off the planet Saphira. Things start to go wrong when Quin becomes entangled with Harmony, a female fraudster who cons the conman.

And the duo’s problems get worse when the resident villain brings in a robot army to take over the town. When the bad guys kidnap Floyd and use him as a weapon, Quin must mount a rescue – but can he trust the lovely but larcenous Harmony to help him? And can the people of Cicada City really depend on two outlaws to save them?

The sequel to Battleship Raider is a science fiction/Western mash-up that mixes adventure and humour with just a hint of romance. Look out for the third book in the series Road Rage.

About the Author

Paul Tomlinson was born in Nottinghamshire and has lived there for most of his life. He is the author of a series of mystery novels featuring magician-turned-detective the Great Vicari; the humorous fantasy series Thurlambria, and the science fiction novel Robot Wrecker. His non-fiction works include Plot Basics (2017), Character Creation (2018) and three volumes in the Genre Writer series – Mystery (2017), Suspense Thriller (2018) and Crime Thriller (2019). He also compiled Harry Harrison: An Annotated Bibliography published in 2002.

Novels by Paul Tomlinson

Robot Wrecker

Who Killed Big Dick?

The