His: Tony: The Sabatini Family by Fiona Murphy (mystery books to read .TXT) 📗

An eyebrow goes up at me.  “I’ve been a grandfather. I was honored when Cesare taught Matteo to call me nonno and even more so when Dante and Enzo followed suit with their children.”

There’s something in the way he says it. I look up at him, his eyes churn dark blue with pain before he blinks it away. “Matteo’s only a few weeks younger than Rosie.”

“Were it not for Alicia, I’m not sure how I would have made it through the days.”

The moment he says the words it’s clear he wishes he hadn’t admitted it. I’m jealous of her and hate myself for it. She gave him something I had taken away—comfort. I have no right to resent anyone. Unable to see the pain on his face that I caused him, I drop my eyes. I want to say I’m sorry again, but it’s such a small word for the huge pain.

“I swear, I didn’t know I was pregnant when I left. When I found out, all I wanted to do was get in the car and drive straight through the night to you.”

The hand in my hair is less than gentle. “Why the fuck didn’t you? If that’s why you left, why didn’t you come back when you found out you were pregnant? Explain it to me, Christy. Make me understand in a way that will erase the wish I have every other time I think of you that I had just killed you from the very beginning. Never taken you into my bed, into my home, into my life. What twisted, fucking thinking had you staying away for so fucking long when all you wanted was to be with me?” The words flay my skin, tearing me wide open.

“It—we started so fucked up...” I shake my head as I try to swallow the lump in my throat. “I was sure you saying you were keeping me was about staying alive, and not feeling like you had to kill me. At first, I stayed away for you and Rosie. Every day I told myself the feelings I had for you would die, that it would fade, but it never did.”

He makes an angry noise in his throat as he lets go of me and rolls off the bed.

I’m desperate for his touch again. I need him to listen to me. “I swear it was for you, Tony. You deserved better than me. I was so fucked up and you are just...”

His phone rings, he grabs it, and answers. It’s someone about a nanny position. He confirms a time for tomorrow for her to come to the house.

“Nanny? What the hell? We don’t need a nanny.”

“Yes, we do. Rosie is behind on her reading and her English. She needs to catch up for school next year.” Without another word, he goes into the bathroom, slamming the door closed behind him.

Why did he think that? Rosie wasn’t behind on reading, then I remember Delia voicing concern over how far behind Rosie was on her English. That Rosie might have issues going into school. I have plenty of time to spend with her now that I’m not working. Enough with him just decreeing things without consulting me.

I go into the bathroom, intent on yelling to find him in the shower, lathering the beard. “You’re going to shave it?”

He nods. “I only let it grow because you left.”

It’s a blow to my chest. He grew it out of mourning for us. I can’t keep away from him. I go to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and holding him tight. Backing up, he gets us to the bench, and I guide him inside me. Even though he’s hard, there is no drive to make love. We both simply need the connection of him inside me.

I work the thick cream into a lather on his face, concerned it will hurt when he begins to shave. Once I’m done, I’m surprised when he hands me the razor. Oddly touched, I run it over his skin, careful not to press too hard, afraid of cutting and hurting him. I hold the razor under the shower head until it’s clean.

The beard isn’t thick, but I take my time. A shallow drag first to clear the path for the next deeper press. Slowly, gently, I run the blade deeper and with each pass more caramel skin appears. I find myself kissing every new patch of skin. Until finally, he is the Tony I left behind along with my heart. I rub my cheek against his. “I love you,” I whisper.

He stiffens then pulls back to look at me. “Prove it.”

My chest twists that he didn’t say it back. Until I admit I haven’t earned him saying it. I nod. “I will.”

***

Tony

I have no idea why hearing her tell me she loves me undoes me so completely. There was never a doubt in my mind she does. It’s what kept me going all these years. Yet hearing the words, seeing it there in her beautiful, glowing emerald eyes, a joy unlike anything I have ever experienced, explodes inside me, rocking my very foundation.

I want her to say it again and again until she’s hoarse. Until I remember not a half-hour ago she was afraid of the idea of us married, of her pregnant again. No, I don’t want the words. I need her to show it.

This time I might be a little too greedy at her breasts, my mind on them heavy and full with milk for our child. Her body has changed and fuck me if she hasn’t gotten even sexier than she was before. Mine. My woman, my wife. She will never leave me again. Every single night until my last one on this earth Christy will be beside me in my bed.

Her frantic gasps and shuddering moans warn me I’m being too rough, only I can’t, fuck I can’t. I suck hard on the skin of her neck. A need drives me to bare