No More Parades - Ford Madox Ford (the gingerbread man read aloud .TXT) 📗

Tietjens said:

“What accusations did Major Perowne shout?”

“He doesn’t⁠ ⁠…” Levin hesitated, “eh!⁠ ⁠… elaborate them in his statement.”

Tietjens said:

“It is, I imagine, material that I should know what they are⁠ ⁠…”

Levin said:

“I don’t know that⁠ ⁠… If you’ll forgive me⁠ ⁠… Major Perowne came to see me, reaching me half an hour after General O’Hara. He was very⁠ ⁠… extremely nervous and concerned. I am bound to say⁠ ⁠… for Mrs. Tietjens. And also very concerned to spare yourself!⁠ ⁠… It appears that he had shouted out just anything⁠ ⁠… As it might be ‘Thieves!’ or ‘Fire!’⁠ ⁠… But when General O’Hara came out he told him, being out of himself, that he had been invited to your wife’s room, and that⁠ ⁠… Oh, excuse me⁠ ⁠… I’m under great obligations to you⁠ ⁠… the very greatest⁠ ⁠… that you had attempted to blackmail him!”

Tietjens said:

“Well!⁠ ⁠…”

“You understand,” Levin said, and he was pleading, “that that is what he said to General O’Hara in the corridor. He even confessed it was madness⁠ ⁠… He did not maintain the accusation to me⁠ ⁠…”

Tietjens said:

“Not that Mrs. Tietjens had given him leave?⁠ ⁠…”

Levin said with tears in his eyes:

“I’ll not go on with this⁠ ⁠… I will rather resign my commission than go on tormenting you⁠ ⁠…”

“You can’t resign your commission,” Tietjens said.

“I can resign my appointment,” Levin answered. He went on sniffling: “This beastly war!⁠ ⁠… This beastly war!⁠ ⁠…”

Tietjens said:

“If what is distressing you is having to tell me that you believe Major Perowne came with my wife’s permission I know it’s true. It’s also true that my wife expected me to be there. She wanted some fun: not adultery. But I am also aware⁠—as Major Thurston appears to have told General Campion⁠—that Mrs. Tietjens was with Major Perowne. In France. At a place called Yssingueux-les-Pervenches⁠ ⁠…”

“That wasn’t the name,” Levin blubbered. “It was Saint⁠ ⁠… Saint⁠ ⁠… Saint something. In the Cevennes⁠ ⁠…”

Tietjens said:

“Don’t, there!⁠ ⁠… Don’t distress yourself⁠ ⁠…”

“But I’m⁠ ⁠…” Levin went on, “under great obligations to you⁠ ⁠…”

“I’d better,” Tietjens said, “finish this matter myself.”

Levin said:

“It will break the general’s heart. He believes so absolutely in Mrs. Tietjens. Who wouldn’t?⁠ ⁠… How the devil could you guess what Major Thurston told him?”

“He’s the sort of brown, trustworthy man who always does know that sort of thing,” Tietjens answered. “As for the general’s belief in Mrs. Tietjens, he’s perfectly justified⁠ ⁠… Only there will be no more parades. Sooner or later it has to come to that for us all⁠ ⁠…” He added with a little bitterness: “Only not for you. Being a Turk or a Jew you are a simple, Oriental, monogamous, faithful soul⁠ ⁠…” He added again: “I hope to goodness the sergeant-cook has the sense not to keep the men’s dinners back for the general’s inspection⁠ ⁠… But of course he will not⁠ ⁠…”

Levin said:

“What in the world would that matter?” fiercely. “He keeps men waiting as much as three hours. On parade.”

“Of course,” Tietjens said, “if that is what Major Perowne told General O’Hara it removes a good deal of my suspicions of the latter’s sobriety. Try to get the position. General O’Hara positively burst in the little sneck of the door that I had put down and came in shouting: ‘Where is the ⸻ blackmailer?’ And it was a full three minutes before I could get rid of him. I had had the presence of mind to switch off the light and he persisted in asking for another look at Mrs. Tietjens. You see, if you consider it, he is a very heavy sleeper. He is suddenly awakened after, no doubt, not a few pegs. He hears Major Perowne shouting about blackmail and thieves⁠ ⁠… I dare say this town has its quota of blackmailers. O’Hara might well be anxious to catch one in the act. He hates me, anyhow, because of his Red Caps. I’m a shabby-looking chap he doesn’t know much about. Perowne passes for being a millionaire. I daresay he is: he’s said to be very stingy. That would be how he got hold of the idea of blackmail and hypnotized the general with it⁠ ⁠…”

He went on again:

“But I wasn’t to know that⁠ ⁠… I had shut the door on Perowne and didn’t even know he was Perowne. I really thought he was the night porter coming to call me to the telephone. I only saw a roaring satyr. I mean that was what I thought O’Hara was⁠ ⁠… And I assure you I kept my head⁠ ⁠… When he persisted in leaning against the doorpost and asking for another look at Mrs. Tietjens, he kept on saying: ‘The woman’ and ‘The hussy.’ Not ‘Mrs. Tietjens.’⁠ ⁠… I thought then that there was something queer. I said: ‘This is my wife’s room,’ several times. He said something to the effect of how could he know she was my wife, and⁠ ⁠… that she had made eyes at himself in the lounge, so it might have been himself as well as Perowne⁠ ⁠… I dare say he had got it into his head that I had imported some tart to blackmail someone⁠ ⁠… But you know⁠ ⁠… I grew exhausted after a time⁠ ⁠… I saw outside in the corridor one of the little subalterns he has on his staff, and I said: ‘If you do not take General O’Hara away I shall order you to put him under arrest for drunkenness.’ That seemed to drive the general crazy. I had gone closer to him, being determined to push him out of the door, and he decidedly smelt of whisky. Strongly⁠ ⁠… But I dare say he was thinking himself outraged, really. And perhaps also coming to his senses. As there was nothing else for it I pushed him gently out of the room. In going he shouted that I was to consider myself under arrest. I so considered myself⁠ ⁠… That is to say that, as soon as I had settled certain details with Mrs. Tietjens, I walked up to the camp, which I took to be my quarters, though I am actually under the M.O.’s orders to reside in this hotel owing to the state of my lungs. I saw the draft off, that not necessitating my giving any orders. I