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pieces from the inside out.

‘Mum, please. Let me explain.’ He walked towards me and I backed towards the door, still clutching the envelope. ‘I’ll tell you everything myself, from the beginning. You don’t want to find out from a piece of paper.’

For a couple of seconds, I actually thought about it. I yearned to sit down with my son, the two of us, to talk honestly. It was all I’d wanted to do since his release from prison, but I’d been so naïve. He’d already been lying to me for years.

I bolted for the downstairs cloakroom. He moved fast behind me, gaining ground, and then there was a crack and he yelled out in pain. Maybe he’d collided with a chair or the table in his rush to get to me, but I didn’t stop to see if he was OK like the old Jill would have done. I bashed the cloakroom door open and slammed it shut behind me, snapping on the light and locking the door. Moments later, he banged on the door like a madman.

‘Mum, what the hell’s got into you? Open this door.’ His fist hammered so hard I feared the wood might splinter. ‘Open it now!’

I hadn’t got much time. With my heart banging too fast and too hard, I ripped open the envelope and pulled out the folded sheets within. The banging stopped.

‘This is your last chance to save yourself the heartache, Mum. Your last chance to let me explain everything. We can sit down together, you and me … what do you say?’

‘I’ve listened to your lies too long, Tom,’ I cried out.

I felt sick and dizzy, but I unfolded the sheets.

I stared at the letter in front of me. It was from some sort of laboratory, addressed to Coral McKinty, and the words leapt off the page at me:

We have analysed the DNA samples you submitted and the results are a match. Please see below for further details of the …

Like a star popping out in the night sky, the shining truth I’d suspected and dreaded in equal measure was now facing me. It was the only thing amid all the lies, deceit and confusion that made absolute sense.

‘Mum?’ I heard Tom call hoarsely from the other side of the door. ‘Are you OK?’

I blinked rapidly to clear my eyes of the tears welling there. Nine years. Nine long years I’d had a precious grandson and Bridget Wilson had filled my role. She’d loved and cared for Ellis, seen his first smile, watched him crawl and walk and run. These were my gifts that were now lost forever.

‘Mum! Open the door.’

I gathered myself and refocused on the letter.

Please see below for further details of likely DNA relationship between the two samples: Tom Billinghurst and Ellis McKinty.

Close family members, possibly siblings.

I frowned. Close family members, possibly siblings? I was expecting to see ‘father and son’. I tried to make sense of the wording.

‘Mum?’ All the urgency and anger had gone from Tom’s voice. ‘Open the door. Please.’

I read the results again, mouthing the words silently.

… likely DNA relationship between the two samples:

Close family members, possibly siblings.

I slumped like a lead weight, sinking down into the floor. I twisted around and unlocked the door. A moment later, Tom stood in front of me, his face wretched and sagging.

‘Ellis is my half-brother, Mum. That’s what I’ve tried to protect you from all these years.’

I looked up. The shape of my son was blurred and vague. I blinked and tears rolled down my cheeks, clearing my vision.

Tom crouched down in front of me and took my hands. His fingers were warm and reassuring as he squeezed them gently.

‘It was Dad who betrayed you,’ he said. ‘It’s Dad who’s been lying through his teeth all this time. Not me. Dad is Ellis’s father.’

Fifty-Five Tom

‘Remember all those times Dad offered to pick us up late from our nights out? We couldn’t quite believe he was being so helpful?’ Jill stayed tight-lipped and silent. ‘Coral told me she had sex with him twice.’

A small sound of disbelief escaped Jill’s lips. He had no choice but to carry on now, he had to say the terrible things.

‘She was drunk both times. He didn’t force her; she was a willing partner. To her it was something that happened a couple of times at the end of the night and she knew Dad really well because …’

‘Go on,’ Jill whispered.

‘She’d been going to him for counselling sessions. Through college. She said that Dad was really kind to her and that they’d chat on the way home. She said he made her feel safe, ironically.’ Tom hesitated. ‘It’s hard to explain but all my mates really liked Dad. He was … so different with them than he was with me. I used to wonder what was so wrong with me that he wasn’t like that at home. I know you probably can’t imagine it, Mum, but he was.’

‘I’ve seen it with my own eyes,’ Jill said softly. ‘He’s like that with Ellis, too.’

Tom felt a surge of inadequacy, but he battled it back. He had to get this all out. It might be his only chance if the police came for him.

‘Anyway, she forgot to take her pill she said and fell pregnant. She was pretty certain the baby was Dad’s because she and Jesse had been going through a rocky patch for a while and they hadn’t slept together.’ He paused for a moment before continuing. It was beyond weird to be discussing all this with her. ‘She said she felt like Jesse didn’t care about her any more, and there had even been rumours he’d been seeing other girls. When she found out she was pregnant, she seriously considered not going through with it.’

‘Did she tell Robert?’

‘Yes. And he told her to get rid of the baby. Coral said it was like he’d flipped a switch and all the compassion and kindness disappeared in an instant.’

They looked at

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