Coming Home to the Four Streets by Nadine Dorries (books that read to you .txt) 📗

a husband couldn’t put right with a bit of hard work. I think she’s been lost without you, Maura. You understood her better than any of us.’

Maura opened the letter. ‘She fainted at the rent office? I’ve never known Peggy to faint at all. She’s as strong as an ox.’

‘Exactly, that’s what I said to Dr Cole. She was a nervous wreck. I thought she must have been down at the office, paying the rent. And this morning she was shaking like a leaf when she came to ask for a loan for food.’

‘Did you give her one?’ asked Maura.

‘Of course I did, but I’ve been giving her a loan every week and she’s not paid a penny back. I gave her one and six for food. Paddy hasn’t worked a full week since you left and I think it’s just all got on top of her.’

Maura fell quiet as she read the letter. ‘It says the arrears are over a month?’

Kathleen nodded. ‘You have that look in your eye, Maura, do you have a plan?’

Maura drained the last of the whiskey-heavy tea in her cup. ‘Have you ever know me not to, Kathleen?’

*

Peggy had made her way along the lower dock wall. It was so dark, she could barely see. She thought of the kids as she looked up the steps to the houses above, feeling lost and bewildered.

‘Oi, what are you doing, missus?’ a woman called out to her from the shadows of the administration building, which was now in darkness. ‘Come here!’

Peggy peered through the gloom and knew straight away that the voice belonged to a woman of the night. A professional, who knew what she was doing and seemed none too pleased to see Peggy invading her patch. She wondered should she retrace her steps and go back home. Maybe she should take what money she had left from the pawnshop and throw herself on Mr Heartfelt’s mercy… Even as the thought entered her mind, she knew it was useless, she had no time. They would be turfed out by the bailiffs and the door would be locked and boarded up behind them so that they couldn’t possibly return and everyone would know. No, she had nowhere to go and every day the problems piled higher and higher. If she didn’t drown in the Mersey, she would do so under the weight of despair – surely this was better for the kids? Mr Heartfelt would never be so mean as to turn her children out onto the street after their mother drowned. This way, she would be so much more use to all of them. A cold, watery grave for Peggy would give her family a reprieve and then, surely, big Paddy would realise that he had to work, for the kids would be his responsibility.

Turning from the woman with the unfriendly stare, Peggy looked towards the dark, uninviting water which lapped against the edge of the dock. It would only take one minute and then she would know nothing. There would be no more shame, no more trying so hard and always failing. It would be a sin, but could eternal damnation be worse than how she felt right now? How could she take a newborn baby out onto the street? She took a step towards the water, could hear the distant sound of men’s voices from somewhere inside the ships.

‘Oi! I said, come over here!’

Peggy had never been a woman who was easily intimidated and yet now she felt herself begin to tremble with fear. She decided to approach the woman, to tell her it was a mistake and that she was sorry, that she would be leaving, that it was all a mistake, that there was no point and she knew what it was she had to do. She would move along the dock and find a quiet spot where no one would disturb her…

‘Oi, come here, deaf lugs!’ The woman was older than she’d appeared at first. Her hair was bleached yellow and pinned up in folds and she wore fishnet stockings with long black boots and a white PVC raincoat which was open and revealed a black dress beneath. She was far too old for the clothes that she wore. She glared at Peggy. ‘There’s only one reason any woman comes down here when it’s getting dark,’ she said before Peggy had reached her, ‘so don’t think I don’t know what it is you’re up to. The nerve of you, me and Stella come down here early to get a bit of business from the new ship and a cheeky old slapper like you comes along and thinks she can take our patch? What’s your name and where the hell are you from, up there?’ The woman nodded her head up to the streets and, taking out her cigarettes, lit one. ‘You wait here until Stella gets back, she’s got a bit of business herself on the Morry. Thought you could take us on in a pair of auld slippers, did you? Or did you just forget to get dressed. Drunk, are yer?’

Peggy could now see that her eyeliner was smudged and that the woman had a faint bruise on the side of her cheek. She took a long drag on her cigarette. ‘Drunken housewife looking for drunken sailor who won’t be fussy about what he’s paying for, is it? Fancy yourself good enough for the game, did you? You’ve got nice hair, I’ll give you that.’ The woman laughed out loud, but the smile disappeared from her face as quickly as it came. She stepped forwards and, with her free hand, jabbed Peggy in the shoulder with her long painted fingernail, making Peggy step backwards and almost stumble.

‘The friggin’ state of you. Jesus, the likes of you give us a bad name and that’s saying something.’ As she exhaled the smoke into Peggy’s face, she stared hard. ‘I said, what’s your name?’

Peggy’s mouth felt dry and the pain in