How to Become a Witch by Amber K. (large ebook reader txt) 📗

avoid those topics of conversation.” And then you change the subject: “So how are your kids doing?” or “Some weather for August, isn’t it?”

An even broader question is “What do you believe?” And a great answer that is absolutely true and rarely offends is “I believe that all people have a spark of the Divine in them, and I try to honor that in my daily life.”

What is being halfway out of the broom closet, and why doesn’t it work? Halfway out means your family knows (or sometimes not, and that gets really sticky); some of your more liberal friends know, but other friends are seriously into their own religions and wouldn’t understand; your neighbors don’t know, and your grandmother can’t know, but your cousin is also a Witch...are you confused about who you can talk to? And it never gets easier, especially when a close friends asks, “How was the ritual Friday night?” while your grandmother is standing next to you. Halfway doesn’t work, no matter how many answers you have prepared—sooner or later, the word gets to the wrong ears, and they wonder why you didn’t share the truth with them.

Even if you are out of the broom closet, having answers at the tip of your tongue is a good idea, for those situations in which it’s really none of their business and you don’t have time to educate them on the finer points of Wiccan theology and ethics.

So, what’s it like being out of the broom closet? It doesn’t mean you introduce yourself as a Witch to everyone you meet (any more than most people mention their religion up front), but you don’t hide it from anyone either. If people ask, you answer honestly, no matter who they are or what reason they may have for asking. This is the “we are everywhere” campaign in action. The more of us who are open and educating those we meet, the safer all of us are. If you decide to be totally out, have some short, quick answers ready for the inevitable questions that are sure to follow your declaration that “I’m a Witch” or “I’m Wiccan.” Later in this chapter we will share some of those sound bites. But first, let’s discuss whether and how to tell family and friends.

When Invisibility Is in Order

Staying in the Broom Closet

This may be the most serious section in this book, because it concerns your physical safety, your relationship with your children, and your job. Not every place is Pagan-friendly, much less Witch-friendly. Where do you live? San Francisco? Minneapolis? The Bible Belt? You probably have a good idea of which parts of the country require good thick walls around your broom closet. Fortunately, we are making inroads in public understanding and acceptance, as a quick glance at www.witchvox.com will show.

However, progress is slow in some regions. Many Witches move to friendlier places rather than stay in the broom closet. No one can blame you for wanting to keep yourself and your family safe. Children have been taken away, jobs have been lost, and people have been physically attacked because they emerged from the broom closet, voluntarily or involuntarily. (Involuntary outing is often accidental and the result of trying to be halfway in and halfway out—someone who knows forgets and blabs to the wrong person.) Fighting for custody of the kids or fighting a discrimination suit at work because you are a Witch is not anyone’s idea of a good hobby.

If you must live in an intolerant place, go deep. If you must, for your sanity, be a public Witch, move to a more hospitable environment. There are lots of them.

A side note for those of you who are already out of the broom closet: Please respect the decisions made by those who are not ready to come out yet. They have valid reasons for staying quiet about their path—it is never up to you to “out” them before they are ready. One of the worst things a Witch can do is to betray another Witch’s privacy.

Telling Family and Friends

Telling your family and others close to you can be traumatic. This section addresses questions you should consider before deciding whether and how to tell your mother and father, your children and spouse, your coworkers, your best friend (if they are not right by your side on the Wiccan path), and the poker club.

The first question is, “Do they have a need to know?” If they don’t, and you don’t know their religious preferences, then you probably don’t have to tell them, either in words or by the jewelry you wear.

The second is, “What legal or other power do they have over you?” Are you a minor? If so, your parents have legal authority over you until you are eighteen. Whether you tell them depends on your relationship with them and what their beliefs are. Only you can answer the question, “Is it safe to tell my parents, or should I hold out until I’m eighteen?” If it is simply not safe physically, emotionally, financially, or otherwise, don’t push it. That’s hard to hear, but it may be the only wise choice. Keep reading and practicing in private, and wait.

On the other hand, if your parents are pretty open-minded, there are good ways and bad ways to tell them you’re a Witch. Blurting “Mom, Dad, I’m a Witch” at the dinner table is probably not the best approach. Take a more circuitous route: talk about your belief in the sacredness of the earth, the importance of living an ethical life, or your view that the Creator has had many names and faces throughout human history.

A third question, if you are a parent: could coming out put your children in jeopardy? If your spouse doesn’t know of your spiritual inclinations and wouldn’t be supportive, then your marriage may have deeper problems than whether you are a Witch. On the other hand, if the marriage has already fallen apart and there is