First Kiss Last by Sara Miller (read e book .TXT) 📗

I’ve never seen you so hurt. I did that. It was my fault. And I couldn’t fix it! I did this and I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Call, text, just open your damn mouth and speak . . .”

“I didn’t think you’d want to see me. I didn’t think you’d answer if I called. I didn’t know if you’d believe me. And the longer I waited the worse it got.”

Cade stared at her. She couldn’t read him.

“I thought staying away for now was best. Or maybe not best, but . . . well, easier than having this conversation. I was chicken. I was scared you’d reject me too. But then I met the kids at the park. And I love you all so much, I just . . . I took what I could get. I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks.”

“For . . . ?” Leah wasn’t sure where he was headed with this. And she was surprised when he sat down on the coffee table in front of her.

“Thanks for finally telling me. Thanks for protecting the kids from Nicole. I didn’t even realize she was out of jail. I should have paid better attention, but my head has been somewhere else these last few months.”

“Sorry,” she apologized again since it was her fault he’d been distracted. She did not know what else to say. Leah rubbed her belly and shifted uncomfortably. She looked up and realized Cade’s attention was now fixated on her stomach.

“It’s really mine?” his voice was uncertain. He continued without giving her time to answer. “How? I mean I know how. But how is it even possible?”

“You want to ask how?” she asked. “Okay. How did I go to bed wearing pajamas and wake up naked, my clothes nowhere to be found? How did I have message after message from you on my phone with emojis that matched my dreams exactly? How? How can we both remember? How did I still have the crayon from the corn maze? And it’s not just me. How did Liam still have his airplane?” She shook her head. “I can’t answer ‘how?’ I don’t understand how it’s real, Cade, I just know it is.”

Cade nodded.

“Same,” he said. “I’d find your pajamas in my bed in the morning. I could smell you on my sheets. Sometimes the cookies you baked would still be in the kitchen. There were little signs of you everywhere. I felt like I was going crazy. But I knew it had to be true.”

This time, Leah nodded.

These little details were nothing in comparison to her pregnancy. Leah knew it was a lot to process and tried to give Cade time to catch up. She’d had months and it still boggled her mind that she could get pregnant in a dream. And yet, here they were.

Cade searched her face, his look unreadable. He was quiet for so long, Leah wondered if she should say something, but honestly didn’t know what else she could say. Instead, she cradled her belly protectively. His gaze drifted to her stomach.

“It’s really mine?” Cade asked again, this time his voice held a wisp of hope.

“Ours, yes,” she patted her belly.

“May I?” he reached out hesitantly.

She easily agreed and held her breath as Cade caressed their unborn child. Leah saw love on his face. She smiled, hopeful. When he finally raised his eye to hers though, his look was unreadable.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” he asked. His voice was barely a whisper.

“I was waiting . . .”

“Waiting?”

“I told Lily I wanted to be surprised but the truth is . . .” Leah hesitated.

“Tell me.”

“I wanted us to find out together.”

“Kinda hard with me not knowing about it.” He removed his hands and sat back.

“I know. Nothing went how I’d planned. I really am sorry. And no matter what, no matter if you walk away and never speak to me again, you need to know—”

“Fine. Now I know,” he nodded.

“No. I mean yes, you needed to know about the baby but there’s one more thing.” She rushed on, “I love you, Cade Emerson. I’ve always loved you and I’ll never stop.”

“Leah, I . . .”

“You don’t have to say anything right now. Just know I love you. Please,” tears ran down her cheeks. “Please,” she begged.

He was silent for the longest time.

“I hear you,” he finally said. He put one hand back to her belly, “I can’t wrap my head around this, hun. It’s really ours?”

She nodded and waited.

“He really had a vasectomy? And he never told you? Fuckin’ A. I should kick his ass.”

Leah could tell Cade meant it. The hand not on her stomach was balled into a fist.

“That’s what Robert said too. Lily’s husband,” she said.

“Oh, I remember Robert. But he wouldn’t swear or fight. He was a good guy.”

“Yeah, he’s still a good guy. He and Lily took me in. I called him at like midnight on Christmas Eve and he came and got me out of Eric’s condo. But on that night, he did swear. And . . . ” she paused for dramatic effect. “He punched Eric in the face.”

“Now I’d have paid to see that!” Cade laughed lightly for the first time in the conversation.

“That was pretty much Lily’s reaction too,” she smiled, happy for the shift in mood.

“I—” Cade started but stopped.

Leah waited.

“Truth?” he asked.

She nodded, both hopeful and terrified.

“I love you too, Leah but . . . I don’t know where to go from here.”

“It’s okay, Cade. We have time.”

His hand was still on her baby bump and she put hers on top and squeezed. Cade allowed the touch for a couple seconds, then removed his hand. He eyed her and her extended abdomen.

“Just how much time, exactly?”

His question was clear but Leah’s mind went blank for a second as she tried to figure out what day it was. “About six weeks I think. I don’t have a calendar in front of me. I’m bad with dates,” she apologized.

“What do you need? What can I