LEAD ME ON by Julie Ortolon (best pdf ebook reader TXT) 📗

it was possible, even with her knowing who he was. “If you can handle the thought of marrying a LeRoche, I’d like to consider it. Although, for the record, your name would be Lawrence and I don’t have a lot of contact with anyone but my sister and Chloe.”

“Okay then.” She nodded. “I’m willing to work on my animosity toward your family, with your help. I assume I’d at least meet your mother, and surely you have aunts, uncles, cousins.”

The bands about his chest tightened even more. She wanted him to throw the doors to his life wide open and let her walk right in. The problem being, the minute she saw the mess laid bare, she’d likely turn around and walk right back out. “You don’t have to meet them,” he insisted. “It would be uncomfortable for you.”

“I’d learn to deal with it, because they’re part of your life.”

“No they’re not.” Sweat broke out on his brow. “They’re part of my past. You would be my present and my future.”

“So your relationship with your family and your relationship with me would be totally separate?” She leaned back. “What about things like Thanksgiving and Christmas? Don’t you even see your mother then?”

“Okay, I suppose if we got—” He waved his hand as the words stuck in his throat.

“Married,” she supplied.

“Yes, if we did that, it would be inevitable you meet my mother, but she wouldn’t be part of our lives. I’d still visit her on occasion, but you wouldn’t have to go with me.”

“That’s ridiculous. Scott, you can’t compartmentalize your entire life. And you’re not being fair. You’re asking me to work through a lot of old anger, on top of my fears about relationships in general, yet you’re not willing to give anything in return.”

“Wait a second. How did we skip tracks from talking about your trusting me, to where we’ll be eating Thanksgiving dinner?”

“We didn’t skip tracks. It’s all related. You’re obviously not comfortable being open, but I can’t be the only one who has to face scary demons inside myself.”

“Gawd! What is it with women!” He stood and began to pace. “Why do you always want men to open up and bare their souls? I think I’ve faced enough ‘scary demons’ just falling in love with the one woman in the world who is most likely to eat my heart for lunch. Isn’t that enough?”

She sat there, staring at him. “No. It’s not.”

Silence stretched between them as the hopelessness became clear. She wanted all or nothing. Yet life had taught him all about the disillusionment that occurred when he let people too close. As much as he hated the thought of her walking out on him, he couldn’t let her all the way in. He flat-out couldn’t do it. “I guess we really don’t have a chance, do we?”

Her face crumbled and she closed her eyes. “No, I guess we don’t.”

He watched as she reached for the canvas bag and her purse—and he wanted to break something. “Why can’t you just accept me as I am now and forget the past?”

“Because it’s clear you don’t trust me.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I would be willing to try, if I thought you were.”

Helplessness welled inside him as he watched her head for the archway to the foyer. “Allison, wait...” He blew out a breath. “I just... I’m not good at sharing. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

“I know.” Tears slipped down her cheeks. “But if you can’t share your past with me, how can we survive the future?”

He had no answer for that.

“If you change your mind and decide you want to talk, I’ll be at the inn.” She turned and walked away.

“Allison!” he called just before he heard the front door close behind her. “Goddammit!”

He turned to the window, balled his fist, and punched the metal frame in a burst of fury. A shock of pain raced up his arm and he stared down in horror. He knew instantly he’d fractured a bone. Stumbling to the sofa, he cradled his hand to his chest, rocking back and forth to control the pain. He’d broken his goddamn hand. One of the stupidest things a writer could do!

Yet, part of him didn’t even care. He was close enough to finishing the book he could do it one-handed. It meant nothing, though. Without Allison in his life, he simply didn’t care about anything.

Why couldn’t she just accept him?

Chapter 36

He didn’t call, for days after her visit to the beach house, Allison felt a surge of hope every time the phone rang. Each time ended in crushing disappointment, followed by anger.

They’d come so close to working things out—she’d seen the look in his eyes, and believed he did love her— but then he’d pulled away. How could he expect blind faith from her yet offer so little in return? Was his love not strong enough for him to take some emotional risks? Or... was he as frightened of getting hurt as she was?

She thought of calling him a dozen times a day, to try again, but each time she reached for the phone, fear stopped her. He knew how to contact her if he wanted to reconcile. If he didn’t, then calling him would only stir up more agony for both of them.

So, she threw herself into planning Rory’s wedding and picking out the decor for the new bungalows they were building. That, at least, helped for a while. Until October arrived, with its cooler weather, and she knew the time had come to accept that it really was over. The knowledge came with a fresh wave of pain. Scott had only been part of her life for a few brief weeks, but so much inside her had changed during that time that to have him gone left her feeling empty.

Empty, but not destroyed. He’d won her heart and then he’d vanished from her life as completely as if he’d died. That should