Nelson's Lady Hamilton by Meynell, Esther (cheapest way to read ebooks .txt) 📗

when I married, that I shou'd be superannuated when my wife wou'd be in her full beauty and vigour of youth. That time is arrived, and we must make the best of it for the comfort of both parties. Unfortunately our tastes as to the manner of living are very different. I by no means wish to live in solitary retreat, but to have seldom less than 12 or 14 at table, and those varying continually, is coming back to what was become so irksome to rne in Italy during the latter years of my residence in that country. I have no connections out of my own family. I have no complaint to make, but I feel that the whole attention of my wife is given to Lord N. and his interest at Merton. I well know the purity of Lord N.'s friendship for

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JEmma and me, and I know how very uncomfortable it wou'd make his Lp., our best friend, if a jseparation shou'd take place, and am therefore determined to do all in my power to prevent such an extremity, which wou'd be essentially detri-mental to all parties, but wou'd be more sensibly felt by our dear friend than by us. Provided that our expences in housekeeping do not en-|:rease beyond measure (of which I must own I isee some danger), I am willing to go upon our (present footing; but as I cannot expect to live many years, every moment to me is precious, and jl hope I may be allow'd sometimes to be my own jmaster, and pass my time according to my own inclination, either by going my fishing parties on the Thames or by going to London to attend the JMuseum, R. Society, the Tuesday Club, and jAuctions of pictures. I mean to have a light lariot or post chaise by the month, that I may ike use of it in London and run backwards and rards to Merton or to Sheppertdn, etc. This my plan, and we might go on very well, but am fully determined not to have more of the silly altercations that happen but too often reen us and embitter the present moments :ceedingly. If realy one cannot live comfort->ly together, a wise and well concerted separation preferable; but I think, considering the pro-ibility of my not troubling any party long in tis world, the best for us all wou ; d be to bear

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those ills we have rather than flie to those we know not of. I have fairly stated what I have on my mind. There is no time for nonsense or trifling. I know and admire your talents and many excellent qualities, but I am not blind to your defects, and confess having many myself; therefore let us bear and forbear for God's sake/'

A sensitive woman would have been arrest by the kindly moderation of this statement. But though "sensibility"—in the eighteenth-century use of the word—was one of Emma Hamilton's most marked characteristics, sensitiveness was not. It seems probable, from subsequent doings at Merton, that Sir William's protest was little heeded. Some idea of the mode of life there may be gathered from the account of a visit paid by Lord Minto about this time. " The whole establishment and way of life are such as to make me angry, as well as melancholy," he told his wife; " but I cannot alter it, and I do not think myself obliged, or at liberty, to quarrel with him for his weakness, though nothing shall evei induce me to give the smallest countenance tc Lady Hamilton." He was convinced that Emmc looked ultimately to surviving the two " impediments" (it is Nelson's own ruthless word) to hej marriage with the admiral. Minto admitted tha she was " in high looks, but more immense thai ever. The love she makes to Nelson is not onl 1

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ridiculous, but disgusting: not only the rooms, but the whole house, staircase and all, are covered with nothing but pictures of her and him, of all sizes and sorts, and representations of his naval actions, coats-of-arms, pieces of plate in his honour, the flag-staff of L!Orient, etc.—an excess of vanity which counteracts its own purpose. If it was Lady Hamilton's house there might be a pretence for it; to make his own house a mere looking-glass to view himself all day is bad taste."

Lord Minto ignores, or is ignorant of, the fact that practically it was Lady Hamilton's own house. She had furnished and arranged it; she had made it speak Nelson on every wall. How much all this was Emma's doing and how little the admiral's may be gathered from an account of Nelson in private life, written by one of his nephews:—

" Lord Nelson in private life was remarkable >r a demeanour quiet, sedate, and unobtrusive, ixious to give pleasure to every one about him, listinguishing each in turn by some act of kind-Less, and chiefly those who seemed to require it lost. During his few intervals of leisure, in a itle knot of relations and friends, he delighted quiet conversation, through which occasionally in an undercurrent of pleasantry, not unmixed with caustic wit. At his table he was least heard among the company, and so far from being the

hero of his own tale, I never heard him voluntarily refer to any of the great actions of his life."

But though the admiral might be silent, there was little chance of his actions being forgotten while Emma was present. She still shone as " Patroness of the Navy " to the younger officers of the Service. Lieutenant Parsons relates how she helped him to his Commission after the Peace of Amiens, when he